CONDOLEEZZA RICE REACTED TO JANET JACKSON'S

1. . . . Portrayal of her on Saturday Night Live's spoof of her testimony at the 9/11 hearings Condi watched a video clip played back and good naturedly told Chris Wallace on Fox News Sunday that the hair was pretty good and that maybe next time, "I'll do it myself."
2. . . . With the conservative suit, the hair flip and the gap in her teeth, Janet really did look like Condi. Perfect.
3. . . . Shouldn't Condi get that gap fixed? She's got enough money. Madonna has a temporary filler thing that she wears on special occasions.
4. SCENARIO. I'm in line hovering over the Do Not Touch sign in a Subway while my sandwich is being assembled and one of the other workers started sweeping the floor right and kicking up dust right where my sandwich was being made. Now that's nice and clean.
5. Bernadette Peters is not Ethel Merman. She can sing Everything's Coming Up Roses til the cows come home and it still won't make any difference.
6. Jesse Ventura has a full beard now. Looks like Brutus in Popeye.
7. MAN IN THE CROWD. The white-haired man who looks something like Einstein who's always on the plaza with the onlookers at the Today show on the weekends ... His name is Manuel. He hadn't been in the crowd for some time and weather woman Janice Huff welcomed him back a couple weeks ago. Said he had been ill. He's the one who's always giving a thumbs up.
8. NPR said they did polling before making the decision to drop Morning Edition anchorman Bob Edwards. How did news of that not get out?
9. Bruce Willis is starting to look like Michael Chiklis. Chrome-domed.
10. John Ashcroft really needs to do something about those bags under his eyes. Extreme Makeover \would take care of it.
11. Mr. Big Stuff was singing, Condoleezaa, Condoleezza, to the tune of Mona Lisa last week.
12. Anchor/reporter Martin Savidge has left CNN and is now with NBC.
13. Pretty soon CVS is gonna be the only drug store in America. (They just bought out Eckerd drugs.) You know Rite Aid is next. Good God. How'd that happen? I remember when they were Peoples Drug.
14. UNBELIEVABLE. None other than Bob Dylan is shilling for ... Are you ready? ... Victoria's Secret. According to Associated Press, he's seen and his song, Love Sick, is heard in a TV ad which shows a model "cavorting" through Venice in bra, panties and spiked heels.
15. . . . THE TIMES THEY ARE A-CHANGIN'.
16. TV Guide now starts their program listings week on Sundays and not Saturday. There was a one- page explanation in the April 11-17 issue by Editor in Chief Michael Lafavore. Something about changing shopping habits.
17. . . . And The National Enquirer is looking "bolder and brighter" and is now published "on better paper so your favorite stories are even more appealing." And they've added a humor column.
18. Whitney Houston is shooting a reality TV show while she's in rehab. Husband Bobby Brown is putting it together and hopes to sell it to a network. Is she an out-patient? Do they have that in rehab?
19. CORRECTION. That piece of lumber The Rock is holding in those ads for Walking Tall is a 4x4 and not a 2x4. He said so.
20. CONNIE AND CARLA. I thought it was okay and fun. It's about two women on the run, posing as men posing as women and Nia Vardalos (Connie) wrote it and co-exec produced it with Rita Wilson (Tom Hanks' wife. They both worked together on My Big Fat Greek Wedding.) Things are oversimplified and beyond belief in the plot but the performances in the film are done well and overall the movie has good intentions. I know it sounds corny but it's feel good.
21. So Jennifer Lopez is going to be the guest on Inside the Actors Studio. Is her filmography that impressive? I thought they got really seasoned actors on that show. Sounds like a ratings thing to me.
22. The New York Post reports that Rebecca Romijn-Stamos is seeing John Cusack. She and John Stamos just split last week, for crissakes. I guess she'll now be taking the hyphenation off her last name.
23. USA Today used a picture of Barbara Walters that looked like it was taken 20 years ago for its Lifeline blurb about her getting $6 million for her memoirs. Let's get more up-to-date. And, just asking ... Is she getting more than Hillary Clinton did?
24. Tom Shales said Jessica Simpson looked like a "braying mule when she goes for those really loud notes and opens her mouth as wide as it will go," referring to her singing on the Nick and Jessica Variety Hour that aired on ABC last week. This is true.
25. A SCARY BUNCH. Those armed, masked men surrounding captive American G.I. Keith Maupin on the videotape recorded somewhere in Iraq. How do you think he feels when he hears that we don't negotiate with terrorists?
26. John Kerry looked younger Sunday on Meet the Press. I think it was the makeup. They took the show down to Florida for Tim Russert to interview him. If those shows want ya, they're willing to travel to get ya.
27. . . . Press and Late Edition With Wolf Blitzer were the only Sunday talk shows not to have on Condoleezza Rice. Fox News Sunday, Face the Nation and This Week With George Stephanopoulos all succumbed.
28. WEIRD. A newspaper ad for Audrey Woods, L.L.C. , divorce attorney, ran in The Washington Post and The New York Times on Sunday. It's headline read, "I'm Not A Shark," and the copy said things like, "Let's work together and show that scumbag that you are not weak and fragile. Weird thing is that actress Julianne Moore is the "face" in the ad. What's she doing that for?
29. Who's chin is longer - John Kerry's or Jay Leno's?
30. Colin Farrell's hair in the upcoming Alexander movie looks like it's done in a shag style and like somebody poured peroxide on it with the black roots showing. Did they do dye jobs back in 336 B.C?
31. . . . And he wears a toga and a kind of armored skirt - the ones with the flaps hanging down in front. I think Brad Pitt wears the same kind of thing in Troy? These two movies sound too much alike. Who's on first?
32. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, barked an old man down the other night when an old man started yelling at owner Sally for depositing the dog's poop in the newspaper recycle bin instead of the one for other garbage. Recylcing is confusing sometimes.
33. Now that the first Apprentice is over, can we not see Omarosa ever again? Don't think we'll be so lucky.
34. UH . . . When Will I See You Again - The Three Degrees on Philadelphia International. 1974. They're the ones who did the Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo on TSOP (The Sound of Philadelphia/Soul Train Theme).
    
    

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