NATO's COMING:

1. . . . To Washington. Isn't the timing a bit off? There's a war going on. Just cancel the catering and it'll be fine.
2. Cokie Roberts said Washington will be "limousined to the hilt."
3. Yes, Cher's had many lives.
4. Gary Bauer. Yeah, he's gonna be President.
5. They say the color pink's the big shade to wear now. Matt Lauer had on a tie and shirt-both pink, the other morning while talking to a fashion consultant with an on-set closetful of that color's clothes. (Women's)
6. NEEDS TO BE KNOCKED DOWN A FEW NOTCHES: CBS' Late Late Show new host Craig Kilborn.
7. Pope John Paul II's Abba Pater album was #175 on The Billboard 200 album chart last week.
8. Monica's Story's available on e-book. How heavy are those things?
9. BOTHERS ME. CBS calls its coverage of the war in Kosovo, Crisis Over Kosovo. I guess it's technically right, but somehow it seems funny. It's in and around also, ain't it?
10. Will wearing magnets make me feel better?
11. The ad says, "Mothers want something special from Victoria's Secret on Mothers' Day." Not mine. (And I hope not.)
12. . . . It's May 9 by the way.
13. LEARNED: There's an American Stroke Association. Part of American Heart.
14. Elizabeth Dole's hair's a new color and she's wearing it in a younger, girly style.
15. UNBELIEVABLE SIGHT: Andy Garcia in a Supreme Court robe. Did it help him act better in that Swing Vote TV movie?
16. Puff Daddy's nailed to a cross with two others in rapper Nas' new video for Hate Me Now and says, "I think I like this." That's an odd thing to say and an uncomfortable position to be in.
17. Kurt Cobain had really blue eyes. He's on the cover of RollingStone and they call him "Artist of the Decade."
18. The Washington Post called Pamela Anderson "down-sized" in light of her breast implants being removed.
19. Can't Lord & Taylor afford real models? (Their ads feature drawn people wearing the clothes.)
20. . . . They'll be the next to go.
21. Suzanne Somers likes "to dress in one color to elongate my body." Smart?
22. Now Zenith's selling one of those big, great-sounding clock radios just like Bose, only theirs is $99.95. Any good?
23. "Do a little dance. Make a little love . . ."
24. Is titanium now beter than platinum for credit cards? I hate to think how much they let you charge.
25. Lisa Marie Presley last week had on a pair of those half-lens reading glasses like someone middle-aged would do. How old is she now?
26. Young Guns. Sounds like a movie. But it's the title of 48 Hours tonight on the Colorado school shootings/bombings.
27. Looked like Oprah needed a wider seat on that bike she was riding last week.
28. I wanna get that new book, Map to the Stars' Bones. It tells where they're all buried in Hollywood. (The title's not very respectful though.)
29. TO CELINE DION: Ease up on the seriousness.
30. NEW TV TERM: On the bubble. Shows "teetering" on renewal or cancellation.
31. Hip-Hop group TLC calls no-count, catcalling men scrubs. Their song, No Scrubs, is #1 on the charts. And now the guys are getting even, with answer tunes called No Hoochies and Pigeons.
32. Washington's Channel 9 calls its upcoming NATO coverage, NATO & You. (Making a news story personal. How thoughtful.)
33. PLANTED COPS. Columnist William Raspberry this week questions the practice of setting up snares to catch people in, in light of the Darryl Strawberry bust in Florida. He says there's enough "naturally occurring" crime taking place already. Amen.
34. PETER ARNETT: Pfft.
35. So I guess Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra were married.
36. Even Samuel L. Jackson's in the new Star Wars movie. (Plays Mace Windu.) Where do they get those names?
37. New York University, this summer, will host the third annual National Symposium on Overcoming Barriers to Condom Use.
38. CBS substitute anchorman John Roberts looks good with his black-to-gray hair. (Thanks for not dyeing it.)
39. GOOD RADIO ADS: For Royal Flush, Biography's series this week on the royal family. Harry Smith hosting.
40. Is my American Express card really warmly received at Sutton Place Gourmet? Gimme a Break! How nice're you gonna be to me?
41. CHEAP ADVICE: That annoying Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) song by a man who sounds American but he isn't.
42. UH . . . Cheaper To Keep Her by Johnnie Taylor on the great Stax record label, from 1973.

rocci@roccifisch.com

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