December 19, 2006

GIVE THE GIFT OF SCRATCHERS . . .

1. . . . If I hear that commercial for those lottery scratch-off cards one more time I'll bash in the TV set.
2. . . . Especially the part where Santa's little helpers are dancing and allemanding left and right. Buncha losers.
3. Beyonce better watch out. She's totally overexposed. Too much. Every TV show, every magazine. Alright already. Isn't she sick of it? How bad does she want fame, for crissakes?
4. GARBAGE TV SHOW. iVillage Live. Another dumb concoction (NBC) with five Gen X stupid hosts with 'great ideas' for everything to "celebrate you." They call the show "your home away from home." Delete it.
5. IN DEFENSE OF NON-SATELLITE RADIO. Someone wrote in to Paul Farhi's online discussion (washingtonpost.com) and said he/she "heard radio broadcasts on my dental work, so I have a vested interest in the quality of over-the-air analog programming.
6. . . . I've heard that happening. Maybe I'll point the bridge in my mouth up to the sky and listen to my favorite oldies station.
7. Matthew McConaughey was on Good Morning America last week and sported longer locks: wavy, then very curly on the ends, looked uncombed, a bit sloppy. He had a gold band on his left hand ring finger and on the next finger he had on another gold ring that stood up high and looked like it had a platform on it. That would get in the way of him playing sports, as he does in his latest movie as a college football coach in We Are Marshall.
8. . . . At least he didn't have his shirt off. Every picture you see in the celeb mags he's topless and the captions rave about his unbelievable bod. Get over it!
9. . . . Actor Matt Damon makes fun of McConaughey always going shirtless. He did on Letterman the other night and he's got the impression down pat, funny.
10. . . . The next time you see him tell the SOB to cover up. We're tired of being exposed to it.
11. ANOTHER OVEREXPOSURE. Barack Obama? All I have to say is he's got a good agent. The media likes hero worship.
12. George Clooney's 300-pound potbellied pet pig Max died. Clooney had him for 18 years and he sometimes slept in his bed. Wonder what he did with it.
13. CBS seems to be accenting the early in The EARLY Show. They spell it with all caps and it's bigger than the The and Show so I guess they're trying to accentuate it.
14. Ann Curry has a dressing room. She's a news anchor. She's mentioned this before in passing - NOT something that most legitimate network news anchors would do. It's a frivolous thing and something not to bring to light. Most anchors don't like wearing makeup and having their hair done - seems un-newslike and beneath them. So to slip a reference to it in to a conversation is not wise.
15. . . . If Ann Curry were my mother, I'd fire her.
16. Before it got balmy again here on the east coast we had a couple really cold days last week. A Curmudgeons Corner occupant said this to me: "You'll like it outside today. It's bitter like you." Ha Ha Ha.
17. The ads for Bose in your headphones are very prevalent on TV now. And, of course, it's a long, repetitive infomercial-type ad that never mentions the price. Just like their Wave Radio ads in magazines. Never a price. They must know that would surely turn off viewers/readers because they're overpriced so they don't mention it and think they'll just nab ya and get your interest and when you're finally convinced to purchase one, the price won't make a difference.
18. . . . How stupid do they think we are?
19. BABY'S GOT THE LIPS. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's daughter Shiloh inherited mom's most famous facial feature. So I guess there'll be another generation of celebrity worship.
20. The Poo-Pooping Santa candy dispenser is sold out on gifts.com, sorry. Just press down the lever on a squatting Old St. Nick and out comes the by-product through his backside. They also have Poo-Pooping Reindeer and Snowmen, a Poo-lar Bear Sub-Zero Poopin' Hero, Grumpy Party Pooper Sheep and others. So buy one if you can find one.
21. Prince William is beginning to look horsey, like his relatives on his father's side. His face seems to be getting a bit fuller and longer and his shorter hair seems to emphasize it. Hope this process stops soon before it's too late.
22. THE FIRST 100 HOURS. That's what the press was talking about last week regarding new Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi's tenure so far. What kind of a milestone does that mark, for cryin' out loud? Isn't it a little premature? She just got elected and technically the Congress is in recess and they're not doing anything up there on Capitol Hill now anyway. I've heard of the First 100 Days for what the president does but hours for the Speaker of the House? What did she do besides a few interviews (she was Barbara Walter's Most Fascinating Person of the Year) and go to the bathroom?
23. Those got milk? ad people are really on top of it. Already they have Erik Chopin from The Biggest Loser (he lost 214 pounds) TV show in the newspapers telling people to "Milk your diet. Lose weight! "
24. The Iraq Study Group Report: The Way Forward - A New Approach (Vintage) book is a national bestseller already. Over 250,000 copies sold, they say. The book itself looks like a quick-read, only 142 pages, pretty basic. Like something you read in elementary school.
25. . . . It took eight months to come out with that?
26. A GIANT HAS DIED. Ahmet Ertegun, 83, founder of Atlantic Records, the groundbreaking record label started in the late '40s with at $10,000 loan from his dentist. Ray Charles, John Coltrane, Charles Mingus, Ruth Brown, The Drifters, Aretha Franklin, Otis Redding, Wilson Pickett, Dusty Springfield and many, many other blues, jazz and R&B artists were signed and made stars and later the label brought on the rock 'n' roll and pop crowd with Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, Bette Midler, Eric Clapton. The list goes on and on.
27. . . . He loved music and musicians and built Atlantic (the label never changed its logo) into a giant in the industry.
28. . . . Ironically, he died as a result of a fall backstage at a Rolling Stones concert that was given for Bill Clinton's 60th birthday.
29. Will Al Gore's next project be to invent the next Internet, or something like that? Didn't he claim to invent the first one? Now there's talk he might be up for an Academy Award (for Best Documentary) with his An Inconvenient Truth movie about global warning. He's been plugging it all over the place. I bet it wins. The Hollywood crowd would love that, the Susan Sarandons of the world and all that.
30. Billy Bush (the president's first cousin) of Access Hollywood did a two-day stint last week as one of the oftentimes many rotating hosts on the Today show's 9:00 hour. He actually did pretty well, toning down his normal loud, brash, Pat O'Brien copycat-style delivery and was lower key. There are rumors that he might be considered as a host for when the Today show when it goes to four hours (God forbid).
31. So I was eating my lunch (a hot one of Greek chicken and rice and salad) and a coworker of mine who didn't know I was 'dining' said this, looking up: "What the heck is that? Smells like someone's changing a diaper."
32. . . . Needless to say, it spoiled my meal.
33. STUCK IN TIME. Englebert Humperdinck is doing Staples commercials as part of their Unexpected Gifts campaign and he's still wearing his ascot and he still has those mutton chop sideburns. "After the Lovin' ..." (Epic, 1976)
34. I GUESS SHE ATE CROW ON THAT ONE. Rosie O'Donnell was called on the carpet for imitating spoken Chinese when talking about the condition (apparently inebriated) actor Danny DeVito appeared to be in when he guested on The View. Asian Americans got upset and she had to apologize but the Unity: Journalists of Color organization didn't think it sounded like an apology.
35. . . . O'Donnell said there's a good chance she'll do something like that again because "that's the way my brain works."
36. . . . She better watch out. She might be the next Michael Richards or Mel Gibson. Let's hope so..
37. THE LITTLE DOG LAUGHED. Broadway play, saw it. Farce about Hollywood: Actor (Tom Everett Scott of TNT's Saved) who's hiding in the closet has a relationship with a "straight" rent boy (Johnny Galecki of Roseanne) who has a girlfriend (Ari Graynor) who's pregnant and it's all "spun" by a really pushy press agent (Julie White, various TV shows including Grace Under Fire) in order to protect her client. Got good reviews but I didn't think it was all that great. Very 'performance acting' on White's part. Much too much nagging and loud talking. Play was stiff and arch. So that's what I thought.
38. Ann Curry's currently (as I write) in a very serious one-on-one discussion with George Clooney titled Clooney at the U.N.: Making a Difference in Darfur. He was there and, of course, she has been there. So she was so, so concerned as only a mother could be. Gimme a Break!
39. Ted Kennedy was on Fox News Sunday, blowharding about Iraq. It was hard to get a word in edgewise, just ask Chris Wallace. Wallace tried to press him on some issues and past statements but, just like a politician, he dodged and said something else.
40. . . . Also, Mr. Kennedy's Boston/English-sounding accent seems more pronounced as he gets older. Or maybe it's just me and my perception.
41. CIRCUMCISION. It's been in the news lately. The U.S. government announced last week that "circumcising adult men may cut in half their risk of getting the AIDS virus through heterosexual intercourse." This news released in reference to studies in Africa testing the link between the two.
42. . . . "It's not a magic bullet, but a potentially important intervention," said Dr. Kevin De Cock of the World Health Organization.
43. . . . Uh ...yes. Dr. De Cock.
44. I want to go see Blood Diamond just to gaze into Jennifer Connolly's eyes, thank you.
45. Does anybody actually put on a lampshade at office parties anymore? I don't think so. Would somebody tell Matt Lauer that? He made reference to it in a promo within the Today show about an upcoming segment on said subject. Let's get up to date.
46. John McCain's wife Cindy looked like a country singer at the Kennedy Center Honors. She can't be first lady looking like that, can she?
47. THE HISTORY BOYS. Good movie of the Tony Award-winning Broadway play about a group of English high school students in the 1980's who are being prepped for exams to qualify for Oxford and Cambridge under the guidance of a headmaster (Hector, played by Richard Griffiths, excellent) and a new arrival (Irwin, played by Stephen Campbell Moore) who have different teaching methods. The film has the same cast as the play and there's good character development all the way around.
48. . . . Mr. Highfalutin also thought the movie was a good depiction and he should know because he's from British heritage.
49. GRIPE. Why is it that everywhere I go somebody's running the vacuum cleaner? Can't stand the racket. At work around closing time, at the deli when I drop in for a coffee, with the cord weaving in and out of where people are stepping, dangerous. Somebody oughta do something about it and schedule it when nobody's around. It's not necessary all the time. Do it when it doesn't bother me.
50. POACHING CHRISTMAS TREES. That's what's happening at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln, according to a story in The New York Times. Solution: Spray the evergreens with smelly fox urine. But there's a trick. Outside the smell isn't that noticeable but when the tree is taken inside and starts to warm up, watch out. The smell comes through then and does some definite stinking. So that's what the thieves have to look forward to. Good.
51. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, took a ride on a horse. Le-Le (Hanalie) was following owner Sally and friend Heather who were riding their horses when they came upon a creek. The dog was afraid to cross (probably didn't want to get wet) so Heather demounted, picked up Hanalie, handed her over to Sally and they forded the stream up on top of horsey.
52. UH . . . The Horse - Cliff Nobles & Co. , on the Phil --L.A. of Soul label, 1968. Great instrumental and precursor to the future Philly Sound of the '70s. Key musicians in the group later became members of MFSB (Mother, Father, Sister, Brother), architects of the Sound of Philadelphia.

rocci@roccifisch.com