YOU'VE GOT POST

1. . . . That's what the Brits' computer online service says over there instead of You've Got Mail.
2. "I'M IN WITH THE 'IN' CROWD." That's Bryan Ferry's version of the original Dobie Gray song of 1965 used in those never-ending/airing Blockbuster commercials for their Trip-A-Day Giveaway. Sounds good. Ferry's take on the song fits the pseudo glam hipness of all those stars at a Hollywood premiere. Effective.
3. . . . But don't run it anymore. Over-saturated. Thank you.
4. Everything's stormy on ABC. Stephen King's Storm Of The Century's causing that. It's cross-promotion everywhere, from the soaps to Dharma & Greg to World's Deadliest Storms: Caught On Tape.
5. Are those J. Peterman clothes just like the sketches? (The idea was unique, but they're filing for bankruptcy now.)
6. LATEST EXERCISE CRAZE: Tae Bo. Billy Blanks' body shaping fitness system. On infomercials and home vid. Looks like air fist-fighting and kick-boxing. A bit intense.
7. ". . . Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting ..."
8. Is Paula Jones still gonna have LaToya Jackson's former manager, Jack Gordon, represent her now, or is all that over?
9. . . . Boy, that was a brilliant choice. He's trouble, just ask LaToya.
10. LISTENING TO ... The Pope, of all people. His Abba Pater album, meaning Father, comes out March 23, in celebration of Holy Week and Easter. It's live recordings he's made over the last twenty years blended with original music. Sounds contemporary, classical, World music-ish. He's singing, chanting, and praying.
11. . . . And they're making a video of the title track. And, of course, it can be heard on the Vatican and Sony Classical's websites. (vatican.va and www.sonyclassical.com)
12. . . . Pretty soon you're gonna need a website address to get into heaven.
13. Julia Sweeney's one-woman stage show, God Said, "Ha!", was filmed for the movies and directed by her long-time friend, Quentin Tarantino. It's about battling cancer in her family and is supposed to be really funny. The Pulp Fiction Quentin Tarantino?
14. Mick Jagger and Bianca's daughter Jade's married to a Viscount – Dan MacMillan, who she calls the "Vulgar Viscount."
15. . . . A viscount is "a nobleman next below an earl or count and next above a baron." Oh, okay.
16. Is Oprah getting out? She's disgusted with the "vulgarity circus" of Jerry Springer and thinks everything's going down. She just signed on 'til 2002. How much would an early-out cost?
17. COULD BALANCE GLASSWARE ON HER CLEAVAGE. That's what the Globe tabloid says weekend Today anchor Jodi Applegate could do. She was a Playboy bunny back in '85 and there's a picture too – but she's not shown doing the balancing act.
18. . . . You never know what your anchors were up to before they hit the big time.
19. STOP RAISING OSTRICHES. That's what those Fairfax County, Virginia ranchers should do. Dogs got in the pens and caused a stampede. Some died and some were missing. Those birds're from Australia. How many people in America eat ostrich meat anyway?
20. E.D. Short for erectile dysfunction. That's what Bob Dole's talking about now in those "get educated" TV ads for the chemical company Pfizer. He always finds ways to make money.
21. . . . Will there be as much criticism of him as there was for David Brinkley doing those Archer Daniels Midland commercials about the environment?
22. "A lot of people aren't going to be flying American Airlines anymore." Yeah, try that.
23. What experience has Hillary Clinton had to become a senator? (Sympathy's really given her a kick-start.)
24. How thin is that Rebecca Romijn-Stamos girl on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue? What's that say to the full-figured women of America?
25. . . . Get your own magazine.
26. . . . And yes, she is John Stamos' wife.
27. A friend of mine went into McDonald's and asked for a McFluffin instead of a McFlurry. Ha Ha Ha.
28. JEESH. Summer of '42's Jennifer O'Neill's been married eight times, had nine miscarriages, and has been in several near-fatal accidents. Now she's born again, of course. Her story's in a book she wrote called Surviving Myself. Boy, I'd still be careful.
29. NOTICED. Now Charles Osgood talks over those sun faces that appear at the end of the show segments on CBS Sunday Morning and tells what's coming up. So people'll stay tuned, I'm sure the thinking is. Tease it. Fill up the space. (I thought that show was above all that.)
30. . . . I used to like the quietness of it all.
31. GOT BUZZ ... Hedwig & The Angry Inch. Off-Broadway show about an East German transsexual singer living in a Kansas trailer park. Now it's a rock album some say is "weird but powerful." Sounds trashed up, like Rocky Horror or something. Worth checking out.
32. NEVER KNEW ... That full-metal jacket is a type of gun bullet. Should I have known that from the movie?
33. TOMMY HILFIGER: Go away.
34. MONEY TO BURN. They blew up the ship in Coos Bay, Oregon. How much was all that worth? And then it split in two just like the Titanic.
35. OBNOXIOUS COMMERCIAL. For Beggin' Strips. "Dogs don't know it's not bacon." Some might.
36. Now is Garth Brooks gonna whine about baseball?
37. Is there a glut in the TV pundit job market now?
38. Matt Lauer told Leeza Gibbons he's romantic and sentimental. He's a note writer and flower buyer too.
39. Juliet Lewis looks like a female Tom Hanks in her new movie, The Other Sister. (More on movie later.)
40. Mark Harmon looks like all he eats is roughage.
41. Is that transplanted hand gonna kill somebody?
42. UH . . . Give Her A Transplant – The Intruders on Gamble, from 1969.

rocci@roccifisch.com

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