February 6, 1999


      A BUCK-TOOTHED TEXAS NAG

  1. . . . That's what the feminist, Camille Paglia, called Rolling Stone Mick Jagger's wife, Jerry Hall. Dem's fightin' words.
  2. UNIMPRESSED. By the color now in The Washington Post. It's drab, not vibrant. Take a lesson from USA TODAY, or any other paper, for that matter, that's been using it eons before they made the transition.
  3. CORRECTION: In the last Random Thoughts, Item 4 mentioned that Nick Nolte plays an abusive alcoholic father in the new movie, Affliction. Wrong. James Coburn plays that role; Nolte the son. Sorry.
  4. LET'S GO TO THE VIDEOTAPE. They're playing back clips of Monica Lewinsky, Vernon Jordan, and Sidney Blumenthal in the well of the Senate, but they need to get the roll cues right. There's too much of a delay after the segments are introduced.
  5. . . . Take a TV course. Tighten it up.
  6. The Thin Red Line's not making enough money.
  7. Madonna's a geisha now. That's the latest. And she's talking about another movie. She's always gonna be in another movie, but it never happens.
  8. Washington's Channel 9 better watch out for Maureen Bunyan on Channel 7. She's Coming Soon, say the very frequent on-air promos. A lot of people were upset when she left 9 and they may desert and go to 7. Viewers are loyal.
  9. A wallaby escaped from a farm up in Howard County and got killed on Interstate 70. I thought they just had them in Australia.
  10. Matt Lauer conducted a gush interview yesterday with Mel Gibson.
  11. . . . PAYBACK. Gibson's new movie. Tries to be film noir-ish. Shot dark – nothing vivid. Gratuitous smoking, violence, hate. He narrates and stars with low-voiced, unemotional delivery. Gypped out of money in a heist, he wants his share. Has Asian dominatrix-type girl.
  12. . . . The previews are better than the movie. One version sets the movie scenes to James Brown's Payback record. Sounds great, but doesn't show up in the movie. Rip.
  13. Do all these herbs being advertised now really do anything? Is echinacea really good for a cold?
  14. Hallmark cards has a somewhat odd commercial campaign going on now for Valentines Day: Black and white TV commercials that look like the 1950s, and print ads with a muscular dude Cupid making a fist that says, Sunday is V-Day ... Fight Heartache, like it's an ad for the troops heading home in the 40s. Hmmm.
  15. $65 MILLION FOR 12 MINUTES. That's what a new film Arnold Schwarzenegger's doing with Titanic director James Cameron is costing. To be shown at Universal Studios in Hollywood, June.
  16. HAD ENOUGH OF ... Gary Coleman trials. He's always going to court.
  17. Don Imus called Bob Costas a horrid person.
  18. What's the deal behind this Power For Living book that's supposedly free? It's everywhere. (The Arthur S. DeMoss Foundation has something to do with it.) Who're they?
  19. John McLaughlin's new MSNBC show's called Special Report, and so is Brit Hume's on Fox News Channel. What's so special about a regularly scheduled show? I guess they've re-defined the term, as TV so often does.
  20. The best part of waking up is NOT hearing a doo-wop or River Dance version of those dumb Folgers coffee commercials.
  21. THICK AND SHORT/LONG AND THIN. The Japanese say these are the two ways to live your life: Moment by moment, or with a longer perspective.
  22. The latest Cosmopolitan magazine has this headline: Be The Best Sex Of His Life: How To Tease Him Mercilessly, Seduce Him, And Then Rock His World In Ways He's Only Dreamed About. I'll take a little bit of that.
  23. Where did Fox 5's Morris Jones go? He used to do the 10 O'Clock News. Now there's a new guy on the block, Mike Landis. Bigfooted? (Jones has been there a very long time.)
  24. How bad does Richard Chamberlain look now?
  25. KNOCKED DOWN A FEW NOTCHES: That's what needs to happen to Sean Hannity of Hannity & Colmes. (Fox News Channel) Another one of those fair and balanced talking head talk show hosts. NOTICED: They say fair and balanced now after every broadcast.
  26. Do dogs really get gingivitis?
  27. WEIRD COMMERCIAL. For Washington Gas. Mom bathing little girl in tub with camera very close to child's face and child curiously looking straight into it. It's spooky, almost like something terrible's gonna happen. Gives me the creeps.
  28. Can we go through a day without seeing or hearing dot com?
  29. FOR MARDI GRAS: A good album, More New Orleans Party Classics. Eighteen cuts from the 50s to the 90s. Huey "Piano" Smith & The Clowns, Robert (Barefootin') Parker, Jessie (Ooh Poo Pah Doo) Hill, Fats Domino and more. Fun.
  30. Paul Reiser's hair looks better now. Lower and shorter to his head.
  31. People talk about the upcoming Barbara Walters interview with Monica Lewinsky as if it's gonna be a major news event. More like media event. But then again, they create the news a lot.
  32. DAVE SAYER. That's his name. He's the Publishers Clearinghouse guy who presents the winners with the checks. (Looks a bit like John Gotti.)
  33. Entertainment Tonight's Mark Steines kissed and told Cher on the field, after she sang the national anthem at the Super Bowl, "You rocked! You were awesome!"
  34. . . . So much for being a neutral reporter.
  35. Think Tom Brokaw could get a couple of new suits?
  36. Is Morse code over? (Never did learn it.)
  37. FUNNY MOVIE. At least the preview is. For Analyze This, with Robert DeNiro and Billy Crystal. DeNiro plays an insecure mobster who's in therapy seeing Crystal, who's the shrink.
  38. I guess those Victoria's Secret models were too hot for the net. It crashed.
  39. Mike Tyson's wife's name's Monica too.
  40. GONE NOW. Bowery Boy Huntz Hall, who played the goofy, dimwitted Glimpy or Satch, and earlier played Dippy with the Dead End Kids. Died last weekend at 78. Those guys were funny.
  41. PHONE LANGUAGE. To say wireless now seems old-fashioned. Cordless better.
  42. A police dog bit a TV reporter right in the face while he squatted down to pet him. That'll teach ya. That dog don't care what show you're from.
  43. UH ... Can Your Monkey Do The Dog? – Rufus Thomas on Stax, from 1964. One of his many dog songs.


rocci@roccifisch.com

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