16 WORDS

1. . . . "The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." Well, that started all this rigamarole. A senior White House official said the president "is not a fact checker." That's obvious.
2. I keep saying Pirates of Penzance instead of Pirates of the Caribbean. Whatever. Caribbean is a big production, special effects romp through the matey/laddie days of ships and captains and gold and rotten teeth. It's got a lot of action. Johnny Depp plays a fey-acting character named Jack Sparrow who's a lying, fake deal-making scoundrel who always seems a bit tipsy. There's a damsel/bonnie lass in distress (Keira Knightley), a swashbuckling young blacksmith (Orlando Bloom) who makes swords and a Captain Kidd-type (Geoffrey Rush) who's your aye aye, walk-the-plank head honcho of the Black Pearl ship. A tad long but good on summer entertainment.
3. 48 Hours Investigates had a piece on a new way to lose weight: Pole Dancing. That's pole as in the kind the dancers use in sex clubs. The California woman who teaches it says it's good for limbering up and stretching. She even did a private demonstration of it while news correspondent Peter Van Sant sat in a chair watching her like he was about to get a lap dance.
4. "METROSEXUAL". That's a new term used in a New York Times piece recently about straight men who get facials, pedicures and wax jobs. More are doing it, they say.
5. "I feel great and I've been given a good bill of health," said Cokie Roberts Friday talking to CNN's Wolf Blitzer about her health. (She's been fighting cancer.) That's good news. She also mentioned that Cokie and Kobe (Bryant) sound somewhat similar and it caused some raised eyebrows among her friends when they first head the name mentioned on TV.
6. "INFORMED SPECULATION". That's a new one. It was said on one of the cable TV channels in talking about the Kobe Bryant case. I guess you get that from someone of stature, someone close to the case, as opposed to every other Tom, Dick and Harry who's booked to head-talk endlessly about a case they have no involvement in whatsoever.
7. . . . Kobe Bryant said, "I made the mistake of adultery." Wife Vanessa called it that too. Mistake? Somehow that sounds odd. You usually commit adultery or commit the sin of adultery. But you don't hear people making the mistake of adultery. Am I wrong here?
8. Mr. Big Stuff pointed out that some people call Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, Benifer. That Dateline they did on the couple the other night covered everything. Each comes off sort of okay but it's all a bit saccharine. And those ads she's doing for Louis Vuitton make her look like Leona Helmsley, for crissakes.
9. The DA in Eagle, Colo. on the Kobe case, Mark Hurlbert, looks like a heavier Woody Harrelson. He needs to have his teeth fixed though.
10. More and more people are walking out of Wendy's now with big bags they put those "fresh" salads in. They're not too bad. But the stuff in them seems processed down. I think many buy them out of guilt and would much rather get one of those triple burger heart stoppers.
11. WALK ON. Richard Engel - remember him reporting from the rooftop of a Baghdad hotel for ABC News? - is now with NBC News. Last week he often led the Nightly News broadcast. He does a lot of walking in his news spots. Among the people, in the street, where the action is ... and there he comes, walking right up to the camera, stops and finishes what he's saying (It's an old technique.)
12. This was the wording of a CNN poll: "Would you trust Tony Blair further than you could throw him?" Good God. They're really getting into a language of the people-type thing. Not very good journalism-sounding though.
13. IF I HEAR IT ONE MORE TIME I'LL . . . That I've Got the World on a String song used in the commercial for Mercedes-Benz by some Norah Jones soundalike. How many times ...?
14. The hurricane down in Texas made me think of some Oldies but Goodies. (Not to be disrespectful.) Claudette was a song done by the Everly Brothers - and written by Roy Orbison - in 1958. And when the ‘cane was heading southeast to Galveston I thought of Glenn Campbell's 1969 hit Galveston - written by Jimmy Webb.
15. A friend of mine at work pointed out that The New York Times went full-frontal on Tuesday last week by showing a picture of Michelangelo's David on the front page. (He's naked you know.) It was there because of a story they did on restoring the 14-foot high statue that stands in the Galleria dell'Accademia in Florence, Italy. Anybody offended?
16. Lloyd Grove, the Reliable Source himself, is off for a similar job at the New York Daily News. He's been doing the Washington Post job for three years and has been with the paper for 23 years. He's ready for the glitz. And the money.
17. Is Sen. Joe Biden ever not on a Sunday morning talk show?
18. Tony Snow of Fox News Sunday described the roundtable discussion last week in the show opening as "intellectual combat." Depends.
19. TAKES RISKS. ABC's Brian Ross did. He got roughed up and it was all caught on tape when he was doing a story on bogus Make-A-Wish Foundation-type charities to help children. He was following a culprit down a city street and someone slammed him up against a building and he got a bloody nose too. You saw it all in the video.
20. NO LISTING . . . For This Week With George Stephanopoulos in Saturday's Washington Post. It was pre-empted due to the British Open, but it would be nice if there was a mention of that. All those regular Sunday morning talkers have become institutions and when they don't happen - which is rare - there should be a listing anyway and the cancellation information given within that listing. That's what I think. (They do what I'm talking about in Sunday's A section.)
21. So is Gigli - how do you pronounce that? - gonna be big for J.Lo and Ben? They're both in it. In a preview for the movie there's an obligatory rear-end shot of her in her low-risers as she bends over to talk to him. Why does she let that stuff constantly happen? Does she think it's giving the fans what they want? She's always letting people take advantage of her booty butt.
22. When those heavy storms hit the Washington area a few weeks ago, ABC7 news reporter Rebecca Cooper held up a tree limb during her standupper in Round Hill, Va. to show people what was happening. But then the fire engines started blaring and you could barely hear what she was saying. But it was a good visual aid.
23. Former police chief Charles Moose shaved his head and it doesn't do too much for him.
24. That Simon Cowell (American Idol judge)-produced new reality TV show Cupid is lame.
25. MSNBC used the same bumper music that CNN uses in its Live From daily show during a late night segment a week or so ago. I couldn't believe me ears! There needs to be a watchdog.
26. If Arnold Schwarzenegger runs for governor of California, will his wife, Maria Shriver, have to quit her job as an NBC News correspondent? What if he got elected? Would it be right for her to keep the job? Just wondering.
27. OBSERVED. I don't think Soledad O'Brien's having that good a time at CNN's American Morning. Something doesn't seem right. She left the weekend Today show for that?
28. Is mahimahi, dolphin? I had some and I asked the question and they told me mahimahi is dolpin fish - not dolphin, like Flipper. Gee, I hope not.
29. Is Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle a bomb?
30. Jimmie Walker, Mr. Dy-No-Mite himself, is on E!'s Star Dates show which matches celebrities with people who are trying to be celebrities. He tells TV Guide, "I looked forward to the dates because, you see, in the ‘old days' I dated hot women. Now I date women with hot flashes." Ha Ha Ha.
31. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, was mad as a hornet because owner Sally had another business trip. She's getting a little tired of the high-class kennel even with all the perks.
32. Would someone smack Bill Maher in the face (Politically Incorrect/HBO)?
33. Angelina Jolie has 11 tattoos. The famous Billy Bob signature thing was lasered off her left upper arm but the dragon part underneath it remains. The picture that ran in the newspapers showing the re-done arm shows no scar from the removement but I bet it's covered up by makeup.
34. SNOB. Mr. Highfalutin has begun buying British newspapers for more edgey and up-to-the- minute news and opinion. The American press just isn't good enough for him anymore. So leave town!
35. Does it irritate you when your cab driver's talking on his/her cell phone while you're in the back seat? It does me. People need to stop doing a million things at once. Concentrate on one. And take the ear plugs out too. You need to hear as well as see when you're driving. Just get it right!
36. Quentin Tarantino's new movie, Kill Bill, is now going to be released in two parts because it's three hours and because Miramax's Harvey Weinstein wants it that way. First release: Oct. 10. It's a martial arts action-adventure film about the world's deadliest female assassin. Sounds interesting.
37. EXTREME MAKEOVER. That's what Tom Bettag, executive producer of ABC's Nightline, said he'd do with This Week, starting in about a month. He said Sunday morning is so "copy cat." (That's what it is now but once upon a time This Week was the innovator.) Meet the Press, Face the Nation and even Fox News Sunday all copied the Brinkley show. But it sounds like the show's in good hands with Bettag who says he's got a lot of ideas. "Let me list on 23 hands how many things can be done differently." Go ‘head on!
38. Would someone make Beyonce go away?
39. UH . . . Go Away Little Girl - Steve Lawrence, on Columbia. From 1962.

rocci@roccifisch.com

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