June 9, 2005

      IT'S LIKE A FURNACE OUTSIDE

1. . . . So you wanted summer. Well, here it is. Everybody was complaining about how cool spring was and that it wasn't hot enough. I guess we're over that now because the temp is hitting near 90. Satisfied?
2. Aretha Franklin and Hugh Jackman sang Somewhere on the Tony Awards Sunday night. His voice is more powerful than the Queen of Soul's. When she wails now it's not the same. But she's older and so are we. He sang lead and she just sorta sang along, adding her own touches. Seems like I'm always disappointed when I see/hear Aretha now.
3. DUMB AD. Three young women in the men's department at Sears are looking at ties for Fathers Day as part of the chain's Good Life ad campaign when Extreme Makeover: Home Edition's Ty Pennington shows up. They look at him with neckties in hand and one says, "Whadda you think … Ty?" (Get it?) And they all laugh hysterically. It's enough to make you puke. Is it that funny? NO.
4. Meet the Press had Ken Mehlman, chairman of the Republican National Committee, on for the whole show last Sunday-the only guest. NBC plugged it as EXCLUSIVE. Boy, that word's sure used loosely these days. So the whole hour was him and Russert. NOTE: The show was on at a special time (8 a.m.) due to the French Open. Maybe they figured nobody would be watching the show so they burned it off on Mehlman.
5. ABC plugged the Brad Pitt-Diane Sawyer Prime Time Live show this week as The Interview, like there was no other interview as important. But NBC had Ann Curry interviewing Angelina Jolie for Dateline and they called that The Interview. So I guess the term, The Interview, doesn't mean as much as it used to.
6. HICK-HOP. That's what black country rapper Cowboy Troy calls the type of music he does. He was on Ellen last week and did a song from his debut CD, Loco Motive. He did motivate around the stage and was pretty good. He's big (260 pounds) and tall (6 foot 5), wears tight blue jeans with a big belt buckle and has a good band. He's something else.
7. Condoleezza Rice has a new hairstyle. Gone is that tight do she had before with the flip-up in the back. Now the look is fuller and more blown-out. It's also matronly but maybe she's trying to look a bit older due to her job position Don't like it. And it certainly wouldn't go with her dominatrix outfit either.
8. Mr. Big Stuff calls the Washington Mystics, the Mystakes.
9. DON'T TOUCH ME. I'm sick of news organizations saying that they tell us the stories that touch peoples' lives. They're always telling us that they care so much for us. Me, I'd rather be left alone, thank you.
10. NO GOOD: Verizon's Nationwide 411 service. It uses that voice ID system and it never understands what you're saying (city and state). You nearly always have to wait for a live operator to come on the line. And half the time they don't know what you're asking for because they're not familiar with the local area. So they system's crap.
11. . . . I think I need a vacation.
12. People are testifying about miracles they claim Pope John Paul II is responsible for so they can make him a saint. They say he's on the fast track
13. CNN founder Ted Turner was a guest on one of Wolf Blitzer's shows last week as part of the cable outfit's 25th anniversary. Ted was talking about how things first got started and referred to the undertaking as "more of an adventure, like Christopher Columbus." I spoke out loud to the TV I was watching and said, "Just shut up and tell us about Jane (Fonda). Let's hear some dirt." I don't care about the early days of CNN.
14. Are those Carl's Jr. hamburgers as big as the one Paris Hilton's holding in her hand in the TV commercial while washing a car in a sexually suggestive way? They look humongous. And she's holding it with one hand? Unrealistic. But I guess it's more sexy.
15. . . . So is that commercial soft core porn? Is it available on DVD?
16. UP & COMER: Heather Cabot, ABC's overnight co- and early morning news anchor. She does a good job, is likable and last week she sat on the set of Good Morning America with Diane Sawyer to outro her news piece about the Little Mermaid, the child born with her legs fused. After her report Sawyer said, "Heather, nice to have you here." So Diane knows her name. That's a good thing.
17. PLAYING HIS LIFE OUT ON STAGE AGAIN. Showman Garth Brooks got down on one knee and proposed to country singer Trisha Yearwood last Wednesday in front of 7,000 fans at a ceremony unveiling statues of country legends, reported USA Today. What happened to him and Sandy, his wife? Back in the day he was always thanking Sandy for something when he was out and about. Sandy this and Sandy that. Made her out to be a martyr. Probably did it out of guilt.
18. "We have a serial dumping bodies all over the city," said Detective Mac Taylor (Gary Sinise) in CSI: NY. He uses serial as a noun instead of an adjective, i.e, serial killer. And on CSI: Miami when they get a whiff of a dead body they say they smell decomp (decomposition). So they create their own language, I guess..
19. LIVE 8. That's what the new Live Aid is being called. Live 8 just doesn't read well, if you ask me. "I'm gonna watch Live 8. " It doesn't sing.. (8 refers to the G8 summit of industrial nations which will be meeting in Gleneagles, Scotland.) And after all these years (20), it looks like Sir Bob Geldof still has all that hair. It's gray now but he's still got it up there. But man does he look tired.
20. RAGGING ON COLD STONE CREAMERY. A friend of mine doesn't buy the concept. It's a piece of _ _ _ _, she ranted. What's the big deal? Who cares about slapping ice cream on a marble counter top until it turns to soup? "
21. CLEFT CHIN. I don't know that I ever noticed it on Michael Jackson that much but lately it seems to be showing up more. Mr. Big Stuff agrees. Is it natural or man-made?
22. After 33 years WCBS-FM in New York closed the doors on its golden oldies programming last Friday and introduced the "Jack format." They're abandoning the 60s and starting the hits with the 70s through the 90s. The new format supposedly plays a broader selection of hits, has a "deep" playlist and reflects demographic shifts and a gradual redefinition of what constitutes oldies for today's radio listeners," reports The New York Times's Arts Briefly section.
23. . . . Who's Jack?
24. Angelina Jolie packs a revolver high on her thigh concealed underneath her dress in the romance/action flick, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. She shows it in the movie posters all over town. Good role model for the kiddies.
25. Christopher Reeves's wife Dana is back to cabaret-ing. Her Musical Evening with ... plays Feinstein's at the Regency in New York on June 10 and 11.
26. GO TO YOUR ROOM. So Tom Cruise has been called on the carpet for his overzealous behavior on Oprah (jumping up and down on the couch professing his love for Katie Holmes) and for talking too much in public about Scientology. Producers of War of the Worlds and the next Mission Impossible are worried that he might be distracting attention from their movies.
27. UH . . . Carpet Man-The Fifth Dimension, on Soul City Records, 1968. Great group harmonies and handclapping.