Rocci Fisch

June 11, 2012

“CALL 1-800-STEEMER, STANLEY STEEMER GETS YOUR HOME CLEANER!”

. . . “You won the Dee Snider weekend!” yells the heavy-metal frontman for Twisted Sister at an unsuspecting homeowner as he and his group of partiers appear at her front door, enter the house and proceed to party down, tossing buckets of Cheetos in the air, knocking over potted plants and generally wreaking havoc all over the living room rug.
. . . The face-painted, red vinyl platform shoe-wearing “man of the house” appears to be a head banger too and gleefully joins in with the raucous crowd, dancing and flailing about.
. . . He even body surfs and crashes to the floor but looks up and insists, “I’m good.”
. . . “Nobody cleans the rock ‘n’ roll out of your carpet like Stanley Steemer,” says the announcer.
. . . Dee’s in great vocal form and that screaming voice sounds as loud and outrageous as ever.
. . . He’s come a long way from “Celebrity Apprentice.”
. . . The next time I need my carpet cleaned I’m calling Dee. He sold me.
. . . Somebody buy a Mercedes for the ad man (Don Draper?) that came up with that commercial.
I’m told that the latest teen sensation group One Direction does not do coordinated dancing like other boy bands (‘N Sync, Backstreet Boys) used to do.
. . . That’s good news. We’ve had enough of the dance steps.
. . . Give them God’s blessing.
On Memorial Day Tom Selleck spoke at the Vietnam Memorial in Washington and announced the names of another ten fallen soldiers whose names were added to the wall.
. . . “We asked the families of these heroes to rise as their loved ones’ names are read,” he said.
. . . People applauded as the names were read. It didn’t seem right to me.
. . . Broke the solemnity of the ceremony.
. . . It’s supposed to be a quiet moment.
. . . They clapped like it was an entertainment show or something -- like the idiots do outside on the Today show plaza or at Times Square for Good Morning America.
. . . The president and Michelle Obama were there along with Joe and “Dr.” Jill Biden. (I guess the announcer was briefed on how to refer to the vice president’s wife. She likes that “Dr.” designation.)
. . . Biden and “Dr. She” wore trendy sunglasses. The Obamas didn’t.
. . . ASKING. When was the last time we had a president who served in the military? Memorial Day made me think of this when I heard and saw President Obama and Mitt Romney talking about the vets and fighting for them and what they need after they’ve served the country.
. . . What do those two know about sacrifice?
. . . They pontificate about it only when it’s politically correct.
. . . Did George Bush serve in a war zone? Bill Clinton? I think not.
. . . It’s been too long. Let’s get some real men/women in the race for president the next time around.
NBC showed Woody Allen and Soon- Yi (remember her?) at the Belmont Stakes in Elmont, N.Y., Saturday. The two were standing up somewhere near the stands before the race started.
. . . They’ve both aged.
. . . It was good to see some celebrities there at the third race of the Triple Crown.
. . . NBC didn’t show any others – at least not from the coverage I saw. Why not? You know they were there.
. . . Next time hire a spotter and give the public what they want.
. . . They played Frank Sinatra’s version of “New York, New York,” which is a tradition, but it was obviously edited, I guess, because they didn’t have enough time to play the whole thing.
. . . There’s no time for anything anymore.
BAD ADVICE. Jane Lynch, who plays coach Sue Sylvester on “Glee,” had this to say to the graduates of Smith College: “Let life surprise you. Don’t have a plan. Plans are for wusses.”
. . . “Stop it! Stop it now!” she insisted. “Don’t deprive yourself of the exciting journey your life can be when you relinquish the need to have goals and a blueprint.”
. . . Her comments seemed irresponsible to me.
. . . And all that hoopla about life being a “journey”? We’ve all heard that existential crap before.
OVERSTATEMENT. “Rock Center “discovered” a concussion crisis in girls’ soccer,” the announcer says in a promo for the prime-time newsmagazine (NBC) for an investigative piece that correspondent Kate Snow had prepared.
. . . Oh really? Since when did they become Christopher Columbus?
YET ANOTHER CELEBRITY MEMOIR. Singer-songwriter Carly Simon is writing one and Random House says the autobiography will explain “ . . . the discovery of her life-altering stammer, her meteoric rise and unparalleled career in music, and her loves, including her marriage to James Taylor.”
. . . The publisher also said that Simon’s “prose on the page is powerful, evocative, narrative driven, and the stories she tells are riveting.”
. . . So when was the last hit record she had?
NOT IN HER IMAGE. Somebody at Madame Tussauds in Hollywood ought to insist on a re-do of Betty White’s wax figure. She looks like Mrs. Doubtfire.
“Can I help the next ‘guest’ over here,” asked a theater employee at the concessions counter at the Landmark Theatrein downtown D.C. while I was waiting in line last week.
. . . What, is this the welcoming committee or something?
. . . I’m at the movies. I don’t need the hospitality treatment. Just give me my popcorn and Twizzlers and let me go find a seat.
. . . By the way, I saw “Moonrise Kingdom,” the latest Wes Anderson (director) movie, that night. It was a quirky film about two 12-year-old “lovers” (Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward) who flee their New England island community.
. . . A posse of Boy Scouts led by their scout master (Ed Norton), the local sheriff (Bruce Willis), the girl’s parents (Bill Murray and Frances McDormand) and a stern social services case worker (Tilda Swinton) go on a hunt for them.
. . . The movie’s deadpan, flat and funny.
. . . Oh, and it’s 1965 and there’s no Internet.
WONDER WHY. They changed the position at the anchor desk for the newsreader on ABC’s weekend GMA show.
. . . Ron Claiborne used to sit on the right: now he’s on the left and Ginger Zee (the show’s meteorologist) is in Ron’s former location.
. . . Maybe they did some audience survey and found out that the news is more popular and ratings would go up if it has a left-leaning bent.
. . . Somebody find that out for me and be quick about it.
Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, likes to take walks at dusk with owner Sally and she’s (Hanalie) often accompanied by her best friend Lulu, a 14-year-old chow.
. . . There’s no growling or anything. They just trot along together peacefully and smell (or pee on) the roses.
MOVIE: PROMETHEUS. All that hoopla and it turns out to be too much like “Alien” – dark and forboding, with similar things happening.
. . . It was filled with slimy things that attacked.
. . . There was an android.
. . . It was disappointing.
Nolan Miller, the designer who was responsible for dressing Alexis Carrington Colby and Krystle Carrington in all those fashionable (at the time) padded shoulders on “Dynasty” (ABC’s prime-time soap) in the 80s, died last week.
. . . Joan Collins herself confirmed his death in a statement (according to The New York Times). He would’ve liked that.
. . . Miller was given a weekly budget of $35,000 (other reports said $30,000) to design some 3,000 outfits for the cast.
PRIVILIGED OPPORTUNITY. At President Obama’s news conference last week about the economy he called on Caren Bohan, a reporter for the Reuters news agency (officially called Thomson Reuters) for the first question.
. . . “I’ll start with Caren, who is with Reuters,” the president said, and continued “but as we all know (does the public?) is about to go get a fancy job with National Journal and we’re very proud of her, so congratulations to you, Caren. You get the first crack at me.”
. . . “We’re very proud of her”? What, did she just graduate from high school?
. . . Why is the president acting like she’s one of his daughters taking her first step?
. . . A little too chummy for my tastes.
R&B/hip-hop singer Chris Brown was on the Today show last week.
. . . He jumped up and down a lot.
RESEMBLANCE. That big hat that Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, wore at the Queen’s Jubilee brought back (fond?) memories of the one worn by Fergie’s daughter Beatrice at the royal wedding of cousin Prince William and Kate Middleton.
. . . (Actually what Beatrice had on was a “fascinator,” a dinky mini-hat that sits atop the head and doesn’t cover the whole cranium. It’s a very British tradition.)
. . . That one was likened to everything from an octopus to a pretzel to a toilet seat.
. . . I thought those protrusions looked like deer antlers.
. . . But to be fair, Camilla’s was much less so but the largeness of the brim made it look like something you’d see at the Kentucky Derby.
MORE NEWS? At the end of News4 Washington’s many newscasts and before the start of the Today show, anchor Eun Yang said, “See you back here tomorrow at 4:28 with all the latest news, traffic and weather.
. . . Good God, now 4:30’s not early enough in the morning with these local stations.
. . . One’s always trying to get a jump on the other.
. . . First it was 6:00, then 5 a.m., then 4:30 and now it’s 4:28 to be precise.
. . . The new start time probably gives the station the opportunity to squeeze in another commercial for Empire Carpets or Mattress Discounters – certainly not to report a bona fide news story.
. . . UH . . . “Opportunity” – The Jewels, on Dimension Records, from 1964. Girl group from D.C. A good R&B rocker.

rocci.fisch@gmail.com

Archives

Services provided by BrowserMedia.com