VIAGRA ADS ARE LOUDER THAN CIALIS ADS

1. . . . Yeah, now they're using Queen's We Are The Champions (1977, Elektra) as their theme song with guys of all shapes, sizes and conditions jumping in the air playing manly games. Thirty-six hour Cialis is done with lower key images of husbands and wives sitting around for the right moment with some slow jam, sexy-sounding lounge music and an off-camera announcer. AHEM: Excuse me, but they say some Cialis erections last four hours and if they do, the guy oughta see his doctor.
2. . . . Would Freddie Mercury be happy that his song was being used for sexual dysfunction?
3. HOW MUCH OF HIS BODY WAS LEFT? . . . After a woman stabbed her husband 193 times?
4. A HOWARD DEAN MOMENT. When Sen. Edward (Do they still call him Ted? They used to.) Kennedy reacted to John Kerry's win, he yelled, "He's our candidate. He's the next president of the United States!" It was just like the Dean Scream.
5. A friend of mine got a "deeper" feeling from The Ten Commandments than she did for The Passion of the Christ.
6. Should Martha Stewart have worn that fur scarf to the last day of her trial? Sophisticated. A fashion statement. In style. Real or faux? Did it do her in?
7. Rosie O'Donnell said she was "outraged and beside myself"at the Martha Stewart verdict. What, is she now a running commentator on the news of the day? We heard from her on the same-sex marriage issue too. She quit her show and now you can't keep her off TV.
8. ABC's Claire Shipman's brown hair is lighter now. Looks nice. Knew it would happen though. Brunettes don't last long on TV.
9. NOW HE'S IN TROUBLE. The firefighters are mad at President Bush for putting images of them and other 9/11 events into his political ads. Are they all Democrats?
10. Frequency was on TV last weekend. Forgot that James Caviezel (Jesus in The Passion of the Christ) was in it. He plays a cop who tries to alter events that lead to his late father's (Dennis Quaid) death via a ham-radio set. As I remember it, it was a decent movie.
11. Actor Ethan Hawke sounds intelligent. He was on 20/20 and talked about the break-up with his wife, Uma Thurman. Mentioned that it was hard for two actors to be married to each other. Two people with the same ambitions and needing to fly all over the place for movie shoots and still have a family. Difficult. Made sense.
12. STARSKY & HUTCH. A fun movie. Light fare. Spoofs (spooves?) the 70's TV series. Gets the 70's thing down pat. Ben Stiller as Starsky and Owen Wilson as Hutch do a good job as cop pals after the bad drug guy (Vince Vaughn). Snoop Dog is in it and plays Huggy Bear. Hutch sings Don't Give Up On Us to Starsky. (That was a real-life hit for the original Hutch (David Soul) in 1977) Starsky drives a red and white Ford Gran Torino. Juliette Lewis is the drug dealer's girlfriend and Carmen Electra plays a cheerleader. And in the end of the movie, the real Starsky & Hutch (Soul and Paul Michael Glaser) appear in it.
13. Last week The Enquirer had a cover story on Stars With Cellulite and it showed - with red arrows and some extreme closeups - stars' bodies with it. Jerry Hall, Lisa Kudrow, Diana Ross, Hillary Clinton, Donatella Versace, Salma Hayek, Kim Cattrall and others were pointed out unmercifully.
14. Suan McDougal of Whitewater scandal fame and served 18 months in prison for it said, in response to questions from last weekend Today's Lester Holt about what Martha Stewart could expect, said they strip search you every time you have a visitor and they do offer classes like yoga but it's not like going to college.
15. That animated United Airlines/Rhapsody in Blue (It's Time To Fly) commercial is well-done but runs too long. And after you see it once, that's enough. So frequent runnings of it get on my nerves. Been there ...
16. Ellen DeGeneres dances on her show every day. It's a popular thing she started. "Tony (the DJ), make me dance," she says. First it was just her but now the audience gets up and dances too. But Tony's starting to repeat songs already. He played James Brown's Get Up Offa That Thing (1976, Polydor) the other day and that was the second time. Don't repeat. It's a first-run show.
17. . . . James Brown is always getting up or getting down.
18. Will John Kerry give all the other Democratic candidates jobs in his new administration if he wins?
19. The Lord of the Flies has the same ring to it as The Lord of the Rings and The Passion of the Christ.
20. Last Tuesday, Peter Jennings mistakenly said, "Thanks to Martha Stewart" instead of Martha Raddatz, ABC's senior national correspondent, who was reporting from the State Department. The story before hers was on Stewart and I guess it was a slip of the tongue. Jennings good- naturedly corrected himself.
21. Charlize Theron looked weird at the Academy Awards. That makeup made her look like a 1930's movie star but it wasn't flattering to her natural beauty. Bad move.
22. So McDonald's is doing away with Super Size fries. I like the big fries. You don't get any in the regular size paper bag ones. You need the big one.
23. . . . Why all this rethinking of fast food products? McDonald's has always done well with what they do. It's not healthy food and people know it. If you want to get into the healthy food thing then open up a health food chain or something.
24. Washington's Channel 7 brought out the heavy hitters on Sunday night after the Oscars for their late news. Leon Harris, Maureen Bunyan, Doug Hill and Tim Brant don't usually work weekends but they did that night. They knew what the audience and the ratings would be.
25. Somebody said Uma Thurman looked like the St. Pauli Girl at the Oscars. All she needed was a water pail. (It was reported that she changed out of that Laplander gown to attend the after- parties.)
26. . . . JUST WONDERING. Why didn't Susan Sarandon pull up the strap on her dress when it fell down at the Oscars? She just left it there like it didn't matter.
27. HE WON'T GO AWAY. I'd say William Hung, the striving American Idol who sings Ricky Martin's She Bangs, has had his 15 minutes of fame. But no ... He'll have a video out "within two or three weeks," Marc Juris of the Fuse music network told TV Guide.
28. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, is off to Charleston, S.C. again with owner Sally. When Sally called the hotel they asked if Hanalie was coming with her and Sally said yes and they said they would have some treats ready for her. She's known wherever she goes.
29. Mary Matalin's new hairstyle is for the birds. It's sticking up all over the place and looks Sharon Osbourne-ish. She looks better in long hair.
30. They say actor Ben Kingsley insists on being addressed as Sir, which he technically is. And on Oscar night he introduced his wife to one of the pre-game hosts as Lady. (Is that official?) Gimme a Break! This is America.
31. They should've split the Oscar for Best Actress between Charlize Theron and Diane Keaton. Keaton was terrific in Something's Gotta Give.
32. WHAT SHE DESERVES. On This Week With George Stephanopoulos they used some sound bites from call-in people to talk radio stations about the Martha Stewart verdict. One woman said, "They ought to make her do some dirty community service. I'd like to see her work in a soup kitchen."
33. Mr. High Falutin had this to say about The Passion of the Christ: "I have no interest in seeing it because it's filled with violence and gore."
34. . . . This is a fact but I'm going to see it a second time. Easter's coming.
35. I think it would've been nice for Sean Penn to thank former wife Madonna for his Academy Award. He thanked a lot of others.
36. Chris Wallace of Fox News Sunday often introduces a segment on the show by saying, "Here are some stories you won't find on any other Sunday morning show ..." Really? I doubt that.
37. Cokie Roberts was back on ABC's This Week last week as a questioner with Georges Will and Stephanopoulos, talking with Kerry and Bush reps. She was good and it's great to see her back on TV. She really knows politics and the Congress and what they're gonna do and what they're not gonna do up on Capitol Hill. Let's see more of her.
38. UH . . . Have You Seen Her - The Chi-Lites on Brunswick. 1971.

rocci@roccifisch.com

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