March 26, 2013

 

HOW TO LOAD THE PERFECT DISHWASHER (A SYNOPSIS)

  1. That’s what “Today” show co-hosts Savannah Guthrie and Natalie Morales, along with guest LaToya Jackson -- who just had been eliminated from “All-Star Celebrity Apprentice” -- learned how to do one morning last week in the “Doing It Right Today” segment of the show.
  2. . . . “Where we show you the best way to do almost anything,” Guthrie said in her introduction.
  3. . . . Their instructor was Courtenay Smith, executive editor at Reader’s Digest who, I guess, had nothing better to do.
  4. . . . Matt (Lauer) did not participate;  he was in Rome covering the Pope, more important.
  5. . . . He left it to the women.
  6. . . . On with the show.
  7. “Are you gonna load the dishwasher?” asked Savannah of LaToya.  “Do you have dishwasher skills?”
  8. . . . LaToya, the fifth child in the famous Jackson (Michael) family, replied, “It looks easy.  I have put things in them.  Have I turned it on?  No.”
  9. . . . Lots of experience.
  10. . . . Smith began her lesson.   “The biggest mistake is don’t rinse the dishes before loading the dishwasher.”
  11. . . .  “The dishwasher detergent is built (built?) to dissolve the food and if there’s no food there it’s basically gonna attack your dishes.”  What, are piranhas in it?
  12. . . . “I thought we’d play a little game,” suggested the teacher.
  13. . . . THE PLAN: Natalie and LaToya will hand the dishes to Savannah and Savannah will load the dishwasher.
  14. . . . Difficult assignments.
  15. . . . Savannah took her ring off (left hand) before getting down to work and put it on top of the washer. (Wonder if she remembered she left it there when the segment was over.”
  16. . . . She began loading.
  17. . . . “Don’t put wood (spoons) in there,” Guthrie cautioned, sounding like an experienced pro.
  18. . . . Smith told Savannah she was right:  that it cracks and warps [the wood].”
  19. . . . On to the glasses . . .
  20. . . . Guthrie:  “I actually lay my wine glasses down like that (demonstrates) but you know they break so I can’t really recommend that.”
  21. . . .  Natalie asked, “How do you clean the wine out of the “goblets” – sounds like she knows a lot about wine -- when you’re lying them down like that?”
  22. . . . The instructor explained, “These wine glasses will wind up holding water so I would not lay them flat like that.”
  23. . . . Natalie added, “These are probably a little too big.”
  24. . . . EARLIER.  As she was struggling to make room for the glasses Savannah said, “This is a small dishwasher . . . I don’t mean to complain but . . .”
  25. . . . Then don’t.
  26. . . .  Jackson in chimed in:  “Can all these things fit in the dishwasher, Courtenay?”
  27. . . . “Probably not this one.  There might be some ‘trick objects’ in there,” said Smith, trying to pull the wool over their eyes.
  28. . . . Savannah got loaded . . . er, I mean she continued to load the dishwasher.
  29. . . . NEXT STEP.  “Come over with me and I’m gonna show you a properly loaded dishwasher,” said the teach.
  30.  . . . “First of all, these big cookie sheets and roasting pans go on the sides so they don’t block that center spinner” (like Savannah correctly did it).
  31. . . . She continued, “If you have an older model you want to load the dishes facing the center so they’ll get maximum water exposure,” and the camera tilted down to illustrate.
  32. . . . Savannah reacted by saying, “Oh, good point” with a “makes sense” expression on her face, which LaToya also exhibited.
  33. . . . “Glasses go ‘between the spokes’ -- not over the spokes -- because that keeps them more secure and less likely to rattle and break.  (Good, I don’t wanna wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of my dishwasher rattling while I’m sleeping).
  34. POINTER FOR KNIVES: “Knives always point down for safety reasons,” warned Smith.
  35. . . . “But the forks and the spoons you always want up.”
  36. . . . When Smith said that the bowls go in the top drawer Savannah amusingly added,” Isn’t that illegal?” using her savvy because in real life she’s also a lawyer -- as well as a TV show anchor.
  37. . . . Multi-talented she is.
  38. . . . (She’s often asked to add her expertise to significant cases on the “NBC Nightly Newswith Brian Wilson . . . er, Williams.)
  39. . . . Plastic containers face up and always go on the top because heat on the bottom will warp them.
  40. . . . In a nutshell, that’s what went down.
  41. . . . It all made me wonder . . .
  42. . . . If Ann Curry were still a host on the show would she have participated in such a segment?
  43. . . . What’s next on the agenda?
  44. . . . How to put on your socks?  Boy, that’s complicated.
  45. . . . UH . . . Sock It To Me Baby!Mitch Ryder & The Detroit Wheels, 1967 on New Voice Records.


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