May 19, 2005

      KING TUT LOOKS LIKE BOY GEORGE

1. . . . And Elizabeth Taylor too. Who of Egypt's Supreme Council of Antiquities decided to put all that Cleopatra-like makeup on the facial reconstruction picture? Those people ought to act more scientific.
2. "I'm Nancy Grace and I'm locked and loaded." That's what she says in a promo for her CNN nightly talk show. And you better believe she means it.
3. The most loving thing you can do is share your bed with somebody.
4. Now they're wrapping Metro cars in Washington's subway system with advertisements. I got on one last night. Of course, McDonald's is the first to do it. Who else? Who else advertises more than them? And written on each of the doors of the trains is your favorite slogan, I'm lovin' it. And somebody last week was talking about having speakers in the cars to play commercial ads on. That's all we need.
5. WHAT BASEBALL MEANS TO ME IN D.C. It means waiting forever for a train on the Red Line at about 10 o'clock on a weeknight and barely being able to fit into a car because of all the yahoos coming back from RFK Stadium. That's what it means to me. And they don't know how to ride a train properly. They crowd up near all the doors and don't move back. You've gotta plow through ‘em like a bulldozer.
6. Couldn't Kenny Chesney, who married Rene Zellweger on the beach in St. John, have - for once - not worn his cowboy hat? Is it so sacred that he can't remove it, even for a wedding? Hop out of the saddle once in a while.
7. Ashton Kutcher has webbed toes. People magazine ran a picture of him from MTV's U.K. version of TRL (Total Request Live) pointing them out. It's the two toes next to the big toe on his right foot. But they're only webbed at the base. They flare out into two toes after that. Thank God.
8. CSI: NY was "brought to you by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration" on Wednesday night. What are they doing sponsoring a TV program and paying those ad prices for one of the highest rated prime time shows? They're part of the government. Is that where my money goes?
9. So where's Judy Woodruff gonna end up when she leaves CNN? Frontline, PBS? Will Ted Koppel go there too?
10. Kmart's using James Brown's 1971 hit Hot Pants to sell summer shorts. The full title of that song is Hot Pants (She Got to Use What She Got to Get Just What She Wants) and it came in two parts. It was a song of the summer back then.
11. Lisa Marie Presley said this on washingtonpost.com's Live Online discussion program this week in response to a question about "dissing" and "using" the media: "I don't attack all media. There are certain types of media that are necessary and appropriate. I don't promote myself in crap media." I like that - crap media.
12. News4 Washington (WRC-TV, as they used to say) now has a feature called the Pump Patrol in which anchors and/or reporters (Jeff Napshin sometimes) tell viewers where they can get the cheapest gas and other fuel-related information Good idea.
13. RAPPERS ADOPT REAL NAMES. That's what happening in the movies. LL Cool J is now billed as James Todd Smith aka LL Cool J in Mindhunters and Ludacris uses Chris "Ludacris" Bridges in Crash. I guess it sounds better if you're in the acting profession to have a full and proper-sounding name.
14. When bride-to-be Jennifer Wilbanks was found and returned home, some reporter asked specifically where she was and the family spokesman said, "She's located in a location that she's in." Okay.
15. RUNAWAY. A RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN RUNAWAY (Del Shannon, 1961 on Big Top)
16. WOW. That's what I said when I saw WUSA/Channel 9 News in Washington now that it's in HDTV - and I don't even have HD. The brightness and crispness of their newscasts is eye-popping. And they've got new open animation (overused) that';s used into and out of news pieces, newly designed graphics, a new set, etc. And they're using whoosh sounds to accent segments of the broadcasts but then again, all locals do that. Now, if they could only get some decent writing on the show, they might be able to compete.
17. According to Rolling Stone magazine, Eva Longoria, 30 (Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives) wears only pink G-string underwear.
18. . . . Also, her character is pregnant on the show because her husband Carlos or her mother-in-law tampered with her birth control pills. So I guess she engaged in unsafe sex.
19. Some guy at my gym was talking about the date he got through an online service. He said her picture looked like Meg Ryan but when he met her in person he said she looked more like Private Ryan. Ha Ha Ha.
20. Did Al Gore really invent the Internet? He was recently given a Webby lifetime achievement award for "three decades of contributions to it," said spokesperson Tiffany Shlain.
21. A FAVOR TO ALL MANKIND: Dennis Miller's CNBC talk show has been cancelled.
22. So I guess we'll have to watch Mick Jagger strut around stages like a rooster again. The Rolling Stones announced they're touring this year.
23. The last installment of Star Wars is called Revenge of the Sith. Is that spoken with a lisp?
24. American Idol Randy Jackson wears a lot of makeup. He looks like 70s singer/disco icon Sylvester who always dressed in drag.
25. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, and Gidget, the bare-eyed cockatoo, have some jealousy issues over owner Sally. One night last week Gidget was perched on Sally's shoulder and when Sally went to pet Hanalie the bird bit her on the face.
26. HE'S ALIVE! The coroner Munchkin from The Wizard of Oz, who announced the death of the Wicked Witch of the East ("As coroner, I must aver / I thoroughly examined her / And she's not only merely dead / She's really, most sincerely dead!") One of the last surviving Munchkins or little people, Meinhardt Raabe, 89, has been making the rounds promoting his book, Memories of a Munchkin: An Illustrated Walk Down the Yellow Brick Road. I gotta see him.
27. People shouldn't wear flip-flops to work. It's unprofessional with all that flip-flopping going on in a place of business.
28. DIFFERENT POSITIONING. Looks like ABC's This Week is starting to interview studio guests around a table instead of sitting in chairs facing show host George Stephanopoulos. They've been doing this now for about three weeks. It seems more comfortable to me and the right thing to do. And the "classic" roundtable of George Will, Cokie Roberts and Sam Donaldson has done some returning to the show as well. So things are changing.
29. . . . Singer/actor Robert Goulet (On Broadway now in La Cage aux Folles) says he watches Meet the Press "religiously."
30. GIMME A BREAK. Coke is "putting the lime in the Coke, you nut" in their new TV ad campaign. I cringe when I hear it and I cringed when I heard the original version, Put the Lime in the Coconut, by the Baha Men. They're the guys who let the dogs out.
31. D.C. police are trying out two Segways - those tall-looking, futuristic electric scooters. The feedback is that the troops in the field like them because they feel a cut above the people on the street and can see for miles and miles. Really, couldn't the District spend its money on something more worthwhile, for crissakes?
32. Michael Jackson likens himself to Gandhi and Mother Teresa.
33. American Idol seemed rushed last night. Ryan Seacrest didn't tease as much as he usually does when he was announcing the outcome. So it seemed anticlimactic or something. Anyway, Vonzell's out. So it's Carrie and Bo. But if you ask me, they were all off when they sang the Brotherhood of Man's United We Stand (1970). It was pathetic.
34. Priscilla Presley looks like someone in The Addams Family. She was on that CBS special last Friday night, Elvis by the Presleys. Botox-ish-looking porcelain face, enhanced lips, dyed hair. Boy, she was a beauty back in the day. What happened?
35. LEVITRA WIFE SAYS: "Strong and lasting ... when he wants it. That's what it's all about." Seems like she wants it that way too.
36. Ted Kennedy was going on and on again last Sunday and Bob Schieffer and Elisabeth Bumiller (The New York Times) on Face the Nation couldn't get a word in edgewise. Everytime you see him the last couple of years he's aways mad and ranting and raving. He oughta chill out.
37. CRASH. Well-directed movie by Paul Haggis. Stars a lot of people. Takes place in LA and is about racial prejudice and stereotypes in the melting pot of a city where robberies, arrests, shootings and profiling go on all the time. Don Cheadle and Matt Dillon are main characters. The film makes you think. Worth seeing.
38. Why doesn't Quentin Tarantino just make another movie and stop doing guest-shot directing all over the place? (He's doing the season finale of CSI and he did a scene or two in Sin City.) Do your own thing and quit horning in on other folks.
39. WAS I SEEING RIGHT? Woody Allen's got hair now. It's gray and all sticking up but it looks good on him. Wonder how much he paid for it.
40. Mr. Big Stuff is happy that the Agus (Uchenna and Joyce) won The Amazing Race and is gloating over Rob and Amber not winning.
41. The Muppets's Fozzie the Bear was helping Good Morning America's Tony Perkins out with the weather and gave this forecast: Chili today and hot tamale. Ha Ha Ha. It know that's as old as the hills. But so am I.
42. That Bo Bice guy on American Idol looks like he might've been a Charles Manson follower.
43. UH . . . Dance Across the Floor - Jimmy "Bo" Horne, on Sunshine Sound. 1978. H.W. Casey produced it, otherwise known as KC of The Sunshine Band.