TOPLESS FOR A PHOTO OP

1. That's how Sophie Rhys-Jones, Prince Edward's fiancee, found herself eleven years ago in the back seat of a car, and now on the front page of England's Sun tabloid newspaper.
2. . . . Some wedding present, huh?
3. BAD WIG: That's what John Schneider had on playing Michael Landon. It was too bunchy. At times it looked like it was just plopped on top of his head.
4. Courtney Love, on the Letterman show, said Tipper Gore was a "kick_ _ _ drummer" once upon a time. They had rock 'n' roll in common.
5. Fox News Channel's Crier Report had a "psychic medium" guy on last night taking calls. Is that an example of the "Powerful Perspective" Fox offers its viewers in the name of news?
6. Daddy Dilley of the sextuplets looks likes Bill Gates' brother. Both have bad haircuts.
7. MORE HAIR: Oops. News7's Maureen Bunyan's hair is making its way down from way on top of her head. A little less severe maybe? And it seems to be turning lighter. Happens to the best of 'em.
8. A friend of mine says my cat Boots has a "creaky" meow. Gimme a Break! He's thirteen years old.
9. Who looked better, nakedly pregnant? Demi Moore or Cindy Crawford?
10. . . . Cindy was unoriginal in that career move. Demi was first.
11. WHAT CAUSES ROCK 'N' ROLL NECK: A performer repeatedly swinging his neck while playing guitar. That's what happened to funkster Rick James. He suffered "whiplash and a broken neck artery," reports Star magazine. Ouch.
12. . . . What do air guitar players get?
13. Mike Tyson wore "jail-issued plastic sandals" when he got out of the clink Monday. Sounds half-fashionable.
14. COPYCATS: That new Audi TT looks like the new Beetle. (In the old days they called those Volkswagens pregnant rollerskates.)
15. WOULD LIKE TO SEE . . . Sue, the largest and most complete Tyrannosaurus rex ever found. Her reconstructed remains will be on display this weekend at Chicago's Field Museum.
16. A boney knee peeked through Jerry Hall's chic split dress at the Cinema Against AIDS event in Cannes last weekend.
17. Said a woman in the crowd in Dallas, greeting Latin singer Ricky Martin: "I'd drink his bath water."
18. . . . And see how soon you'll be sick of him. That cute little below-the-waist coochie-coo routine is gonna age fast.
19. I miss Vickey Mabrey from the CBS Evening News. They put these good correspondents on a news magazine and you never hear from them again. Get rid of Anthony Mason. We want Vickey.
20. Those Cleopatra manservants hit their fists to their chests in fealty, just like Celine Dion does.
21. One movie-goer said there was too much "gum-flapping" in the new Star Wars.
22. So is Jack Ford going to ABC, possibly Good Morning America?
23. Everyone called it the "one-month anniversary" of the Littleton shootings. Somehow "anniversary" doesn't seem like the right word, does it?
24. THEY SCHMALTZED IT UP. In the promos for ABC's Home Improvement farewell show by using The Fifth Dimension's One Less Bell To Answer and The Hollies' He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother songs. Trying to pull the old heartstrings I guess.
25. There's a chicken chain in Maryland called Cluck-U.
26. NOTE TO TV GUIDE: Do you think maybe you could make the effective date a little bigger on the cover of each issue? I have to search to find it.
27. . . . And that logo . . . Couldn't you folks kinda make it not look so plain and flat and dated? What about a little drop-shadow?
28. FEEDBACK. From Bruce Perlmutter, executive producer of CNN's NewsStand/Entertainment Weekly broadcast. He says the term, "On the bubble" (referred to in a previous Random Thought) goes back to when Erik Sorenson was exec producer of the CBS Evening News. "When there are several (news) pieces in line (pending) to make it into the broadcast, they are: 'On the bubble,'" says Perlmutter. So it's not just a recent Hollywood/TV term. And they do use it at Stand/EW.
29. Somebody said Diana Ross looked like she might've had a stroke or something in that Double Platinum TV movie she was in with Brandy. "Her mouth seemed to droop on the right side."
30. ODD COMPUTER AD: Some helmeted, shirtless heavy guy has a laptop strapped to the front of his chest and is bashing himself into a mirrored wall, grimacing. It's an ad for "durability" for a company called deja.com. Whatever.
31. . . . A lot of ads for computer-type companies and the .com world are really out there. Seems they're purposely obtuse.
32. OH NO! It's the Baldwins again. Stephen plays Barney in the new Flintstones movie. That family must sure do some politicking. They're in everything.
33. NEW MOVIE: Coming. The Astronaut's Wife, with Johnny Depp. He goes into outer space and comes back. Wife gets pregnant. Two heartbeats-"not of this world." Something happened out there. They say it's a modern day Rosemary's Baby. Hope so.
34. Shiver me timbers.
35. NICE NON-HYPE MOVIE: The Winslow Boy. Small, full of conversation, well-acted, good story. A respite from Star Wars mania.
36. YOU DON'T WANT AN IGUANA FOR A PET. A recent article says that "once they become sexually mature (at 3 or 4 feet), some display aggressive behavior, biting and tail-whipping their owners."
37. Brad Pitt's supposedly naked and/or wearing bondage gear in the June W magazine. Now why would he do that?
38. It seems people who really know, or think they know, Robert DeNiro call him Bobby.
39. ODD CHOICE OF A VOICE. London's Underground (subway) will soon be using a "digitally synthesized replica" of Marilyn Monroe's (of all people) voice for public address announcements in the cars and at the stations. Wonder what the Queen thinks of that?
40. "I'm Mark Harmon and you're watching Lifetime, television for women." When he gets to "women," he sort of swallows the word, almost like he's embarrassed to be doing/saying what he's doing.
41. Cher's Tour '99 is subtitled Do You Believe? By the way, that vocal effect used in her single Believe is similar to what electro-funk singer/musician Roger Troutman (murdered last month by his brother) used in all his songs in the 80s and up to recently. It's a vocoder and makes the voice sound computer-y and synthesized.
42. UH . . . Computer Love by Zapp & Roger on Reprise, from 1994. (Zapp was Roger's group and his brother Larry was in it.)

rocci@roccifisch.com

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