November 11, 2005

      MERYL STREEP LOOKS LIKE TOOTSIE

1. . . . Yeah, in that movie Prime with Uma Thurman and Bryan Greenberg. The way she’s made up and the glasses and clothes, she reminded me of Dustin Hoffman when he was pretending to be a woman. So shoot me.
2. . . . The movie’s light and mildly amusing. Uma looks great and does a good job. Greenberg (of One Tree Hill TV fame) is okay. Meryl ... I wouldn’t add it to my best of list.
3. CBS’s "Face the Nation will be 51 years old Monday (Nov. 7)," said host Bob Schieffer in a promo 2-way with Sunday Morning’s Charles Osgood. And the show’s still just a half-hour long. They’ve been talking about expanding that show to an hour for years. Hasn’t happened.
4. RUTHLESS BUSINESS. So CNN’s Aaron Brown is out and Anderson Cooper is in. Just like that. My mother likes Brown and was wondering how something like that can happen so fast to someone who’s been doing his show for four years. "They’re just letting him go, just like that," she asked. Yep.
5. BAD DECISION. That opening commercial for American Express which featured Ellen DeGeneres that aired on the live West Wing show on Sunday was awful. She went on and on talking gibberish, sitting alone backstage in some TV studio. She needs an audience for her material. For her to do it quietly without anybody around really bombs.
6. If what I saw was some scenes from the upcoming Peter Jackson remake of King Kong, it looked really fake. I hope that’s not what I saw but it might’ve been. I was really looking forward to it in December. I hope I’m wrong and my hopes aren’t dashed.
7. NBC’s Campbell Brown is engaged. They said so on last weekend’s Today. She held up her hand to show the ring. They didn’t mention who the guy is.
8. ABC’s Jim Avila reminded me of an early day Mike Wallace the way he ambushed a deadbeat dad on 20/20 Friday last. He gave that guy hell.
9. It looked like rock star Sting had a pigtail hanging down in the back of his head in a pool photo taken of him and his wife Trudie Styler (who he’s never without) with the visiting Prince Charles last week in New York at MoMA (Museum of Modern Art). I don’t know if he had a skirt on too. He sometimes likes to wear one for formal events.
10. Famous vampire writer Anne Rice’s new book (Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt) is about Jesus. She’s gone to the other side. Maybe she feels she’s written too much about evil and the devil and sex and is afraid of going to hell because of it. Anyway, the book is written in the first person by a seven-year-old who has supernatural powers. Uh ... okay.
11. Actor/director Mel Gibson looks like the Wild Man of Borneo or Father Time or something. He’s got a full beard with a big gray section of it hanging from his chin. Looks awful. Now he’s making another film where the people don’t speak English. It’s called Apocalypto (a calypso Apocalypse Now?) and is billed as "an action adventure of mythic proportions" which takes place in Mexico amidst the ancient Mayan culture. Hmmm.
12. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, dressed as a Bewitching Ballerina for the Petco Howl-O-Ween contest. She had on a tutu with matching collar and a black witch’s hat. About 10 dogs showed up with their owners. They all got their pictures taken. But Lee Lee (nickname) didn’t win. The little thing that did was dressed like Zorro, complete in a homemade cape, hat and eye mask.
13. A VERY SERIOUS STEVE MARTIN. That’s what you see in Shopgirl, a movie he wrote based on his novella of the same name. Love story, relationships. Claire Danes (Mirabelle) falls for obviously older established businessman Steve Martin (Ray Porter) and at the same time cares for Jeremy (Jason Schwartzman) a ditzy, quirky-acting musician. Danes works the glove counter at a department store and doesn’t have much money. Quiet, simple movie. But for Martin in this thing, there’s not a laugh in him.
14. Could Jennifer Aniston be on any more TV shows, for crissakes. The new movie’s coming out (Derailed) and so is she, on Letterman this past Monday night, on GMA with Diane Sawyer for two days, on The View, on Larry King and Conan O’Brien, on Ellen, on the Early Show. Of course, everyone wants her to talk about the split with Brad (Pitt) and how she’s coping and what’s up with her and Vince Vaughn. She’s mad at Vanity Fair for labeling her a crier which she admitted she did do--briefly--when responding to a question but then she gathered herself together. She thought VF overblew it. They probably did.
15. . . . Celebrities should just shut up and not talk. Generally, when they open up their mouths they shatter everyone’s dreams about how great they are.
16. There’s a new noise coming out of my computer. It sounds like a mechanical being chomping.
17. A friend of mine’s husband cheered and exclaimed, "He finally looks old!" when he saw Warren Beatty in a TV news report from California this week. Beatty did look a little wrinkled and for that matter, so did his wife Annette Bening. My friend’s hubby gloats over other people’s misfortunes. Do you know someone like this?
18. AARON BROWN. Off the face of the CNN map. Erased from their Web site and it looks like he was never there. NEW SKED: The Situation Room (Wolf Blitzer), 4-6; Lou Dobbs Tonight, 6-7; The Situation Room, 7-8; Paula Zahn Now, 8-9; Larry King, 9-10 and Anderson Cooper 360, 10-12.
19. BY THE WAY. . . I like it when they use those high chairs, like stools but with arms, in The Situation Room. Wolf (Blitzer) and the guests all look comfy and it’s practical because they can take a load off.
20. Mike Wallace sure didn’t dress up for his interview on Martha’s Vineyard with Katie Couric about his new book, Between You and Me: A Memoir, last week. His shirt and pants looked like he grabbed ‘em right out of the dryer. Totally wrinkled. He’s usually so natty but I guess he dresses down when he’s on the Vineyard.
21. . . . Memoirs. Who doesn’t write one?
22. That I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, the senior White House official who was indicted, sure scoots around fast on those crutches. He seems in shape. Maybe he’s used to running. (Also, his wife Harriet is quite fetching with the sunglasses on and everything. She reminds me of Bianca Jagger.)
23. Charles and Camilla dined on buffalo last Wednesday night at the White House state dinner in their honor. What’s that taste like?
24. . . . "Oh give me a home ..."
25. Johnny Depp, dressed as Willy Wonka, the candyman, and looking like a transsexual in the movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, is on boxes of Hostess cupcakes that are now called Chocolicous WonkaCakes. That’s a real sign of success.
26. CHANGED. Ellen DeGeneres’s show, Ellen. It’s full of an endlessly screaming audience now. This second season it has turned into complete hype. Show’s full of shtick and seems railroaded along. Segments short. As soon as a guest comes out the producers put up a picture of somebody who’s gonna be on the next day - before she even says hello to that day’s guest. It’s ahead of itself. It’s a wonder now the show doesn’t implode.
27. Sen. Tom Coburn, MD (R-OK) said Sunday on Meet the Press that the Patriot Act should be sunsetted. That’s a new verb on me. And he said he knows about body language too and that’s why he could tell that John Roberts would be a good Supreme Court justice.
28. . . . And Sen. Ted Kennedy said Sunday on the same program that the West Wing of the Bush White House was being taken over by the Right Wing.
29. MOVIE. I haven’t seen Saw (II) but I’d like to see Saw and a friend of mine who saw Saw said it had the best horror scenes he’d ever seen.
30. Oprah’s an icon. Just ask her.
31. "I’m going out to buy Maureen’s book and get bitter," stated a friend of mine, referring to acid-tongued New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd and her latest tome, Are Men Necessary? When Sexes Collide.
32. They say that play (Jersey Boys) about Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons that’s now on Broadway is pretty good. The guy (John Lloyd Young) that plays Valli really can hit the high notes. I might go for nostalgic purposes.
33. . . . One thing that’s bothered me since the billing for the group changed to Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons is that Frankie Valli is one of the Four Seasons but, separately billed, it sounds like there might be five people in the act. But Valli is really with three Seasons. There’s no fifth Season. So it’s technically wrong and misleading, especially for people who aren’t familiar with the ‘60s group.
34. ANCHORMAN SMACKDOWN: Let’s have one. How about between Brian Williams and Anderson Cooper? Who’d win? Who’s more dedicated to the news business? Whose news delivery is better? Who’s the better dresser? Let’s see some hair fly.
35. Husband and wife Maury Povich and Connie Chung will have a half-hour talk show on Saturday’s at 10 a..m., to premiere on Jan. 7, 2006 and air on MSNBC. Their repartee has been likened to that of Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy in all those old movies. This I kinda doubt. Mr. Highfalutin thought, "Didn’t we just get rid of her? She’s always on the comeback trail."
36. Chris Cuomo has been named new Senior Legal Correspondent for ABC News. So is Cynthia McFadden senior to him?
37. HEARD IT. Ho, Ho, Ho from the new Jolly Green Giant, in a TV ad for broccoli and cheese. Remember, the original voice belonged to Elmer "Len" Dresslar Jr., who died in October. The new is one sounds deeper and not as friendly. At least to me.
38. Will I get that bird flu if I eat Thanksgiving turkey? Some people are asking that question. They say no, as long as the bird’s cooked long enough. So that’s something I have to worry about.
39. . . . Someone wrote in to an online cooking chat and said that one Thanksgiving she bought a tofurkey because her daughter was a vegetarian. This is what she said about how it tasted: "Let me tell you, no one would touch the tofurkey. It was easily the most god-awful thing known to womankind. I followed the instructions, basted it with orange juice. Not even the dogs would go near it." Ha Ha Ha.
40. . . . Are those things shaped like a turkey?
41. JUDITH MILLER. Out of a job now. Looks like The New York Times cut bait. Who’s she gonna work for now? NEXT UP: Well, it’s gotta be a book. And since she’ll be having more time at home, maybe she can return the favor and cook her husband a meal.
42. . . . And can the press please stop making things all cozy and familiar by calling her Judy instead of Judith?
43. Mr. Big Stuff thought Prince Charles looked like Mad magazine’s Alfred E. Newman.
44. THIS YEAR’S FAD: Upside down Christmas trees. And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.
45. They’re selling hooded sweatshirts at Sak’s Fifth Avenue stores for $120. It’s the Juicy Couture Men’s Cotton Hoodie.) Yeah, I’m sure I’ll buy one of those.
46. Ricky Martin is back and sang some songs from his newest album, Life, this week outside "on the Plaza," as they like to say on the Today show. Drop It On Me is the lead cut. He says it’s reggaeton, the new term for Latin dance music which is influenced by Jamaican reggae and American urban and hip-hop styles. Well, to me, it doesn’t sound much different than Livin’ La Vida Loca or She Bangs. It’s the same old stuff. And yes, he’s still dancing and shaking his bon-bon. He’s got sort of a goatee thing going on and there’s growth between that and his mustache and it makes him resemble George Michael and that awful look he adapted. Geesh.
47. CSI: Miami and NY merged this week and in a two-parter Horatio Caine (David Caruso) and his team and Mac Taylor (Gary Sinise) and his team joined forces to track down a killer. The two episodes were pretty good. Caruso and Sinise work well together. And before Horatio left to return to his home base, he asked Mac to say hi to Stella (Melina Kanakarades). So I think there’s some chemistry there. Let’s see that develop.
48. . . . Watch What Happens - Sergio Mendes & Brasil ’66, from their Equinox album. A&M Records, 1967.