November 13, 2008

I MIGHT GO TO SEE TINA TURNER IN CONCERT, SHE'S COMING

  1. Is she still good? Does she still have “it”? Will I be disappointed?
  2. . . . Is she old and saggy now? I am.
  3. . . . I’ll go anyway, it’ll be fun, a chance to let my hair down, feel young again.
  4. . . . “We don’t need another hero …”
  5. THEY LEFT OUT THE HYPHEN. The sign on the podium behind which Barack Obama conducted his first press conference in Chicago last Friday did not have a hyphen in President Elect in their The Office of the President Elect placard. That’s always hyphenated, didn’t they know that? They’ve done everything else to perfection, I’m surprised there was a typo on a sign everybody in the world saw.
  6. . . . “The United States has only one government and one president at a time,” said Obama at the press conference, when asked about the financial crisis and what he was planning to do about it.
  7. . . . Everybody wants a sound bite and a conflict. Obama knows his presidency doesn’t become effective til Jan. 20 and that he can’t do anything about it right now. So he told the goading press that they’d just have to wait.
  8. . . . People are too used to getting everything instantly. Well, welcome to the take-a-check world. Stand in line and wait your turn.
  9. Why do I need fiber in my artificial sweetener? Splenda, the sugar substitute that claims it isn’t artificial because it starts out as sugar, is now advertising that it contains one gram of soluble fiber in its packets. Gee, now I can kill two birds with one stone and I don’t have to choke down my daily allotment of Metamucil.
  10. . . . Too bad Splenda still takes like an artificial sweetener.
  11. A friend of mine was upset over CNN’s Wolf Blitzer telling people that “we are about to see something that we have never seen before,” in referring to a segment spotlighting their infamous use of a hologram of one of the cable network’s campaign reporters (Jessica Yellin), who appeared on election night in the studio with the anchorman but was actually beamed in from Grant Park in Illinois while awaiting the appearance of Barack Obama after he won.
  12. . . . “They did that in Star Trek,” the friend said. “CNN didn’t invent it.”
  13. . . . This is true. Anderson Cooper later described the effect to Will.i.am, a rapper/supporter of Obama’s who was also beamed in from Illinois, who likened it to the popular TV and movie sci-fi series.
  14. . . . Enough of the hologram idea. So they tried something different for TV. Was it journalistically unsound, laughable? It’s cable TV, what do you expect?
  15. . . . Hmm. Will.i.am. Maybe I should call myself Roc.i.fisch.
  16. . . . Somehow it just doesn’t seem right. Maybe I oughta just act my age. Any seconds to proposition?
  17. “O come, o come E-Maaa aaa aaan U ell.” That’s what I can’t get out of my mind everytime I hear Rham Emanual’s (D-Ill.) name. (He to be Barack Obama’s chief of staff.) So he’ll get a lotta mileage this upcoming Christmas season from me.
  18. HOT AGAIN. Newspapers were. For a day … after the election. People wanted the dead tree (disrespectful term if you ask me) version of the historic news and there was a run on getting the print editions of The Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Today and many other newspapers across the nation. Collectors items. They were more important than the Internet for just one day. When will we see that again?
  19. . . . People want hard-copy memories.
  20. JUST ASKING. Campbell Brown’s CNN show is called No Bias, No Bull. Is that a very good name for a TV news show? It seems a little too colloquial to me, having, essentially, bull_ _ _ _ in the title.
  21. SHORT STORY. So I went to a lab to get my cholesterol checked. I was told to go to Room 3 and a woman came in (nurse, nurse practitioner?) and told me to sit down and asked rather brusquely, “Okay, which arm?,” referring to the blood test she was about to administer. “Which arm?” I asked myself. “You tell me, you’re the specialist,” I thought. I don’t know which arm to use. Is one different from the other.” “This one,” I said out loud, holding up my left one, the usual one for stuff like this.
  22. . . . And when I asked, “Testing for cholesterol, right?” just to make sure, she said to me, “Whatever the doctor said on the form.”
  23. . . . Boy, thanks for all the information and the pleasant attitude. I swear, the people places employ.
  24. . . . I should’ve complained to the management about her but I let it go. Too bad these kinds of people get a free ride. Disgusting.
  25. Somebody in the news the other day mistakenly pronounced the president of Iran’s name in a shortened way: Ahmadijad rather than Ahmadinejad. Makes sense to me. Has too many syllables. Easier to say Ahmadijad. Get somebody to take care of that, maybe Richard Engel (of NBC); he’s always over in that part of the world.
  26. Joe Biden’s wife Jill said he could get a dog too. (The Obamas promised their daughters Malia and Sasha a dog.) Jill Biden said earlier in the campaign that if her husband became vice president, he could get one. So now it looks like there’ll be a First Dog and Second Dog in the new administration. Or will it be Top Dog and Underdog?
  27. . . . So who wears the pants in the Biden house?
  28. ZACH & MIRI MAKE A PORNO. Young people’s movie, in the tradition of Knocked Up and starring Seth Rogan again. Gross humor, foul language but characters that seem real and not Hollywooded up. Elizabeth Banks is in this one too (she’s also in W. as Laura Bush, The 40-Year-Old Virgin and many others).
  29. . . . Platonic friends Zach (Rogan) and Miri/Miriam (Banks) who live together come on hard times and can’t pay the rent or the utilities so they decide to make a porno movie and, in so doing, find out that their feelings for each other go deeper than just casual.
  30. . . . Good, funny characters in supporting cast.
  31. . . . The audience really liked it where I saw it. Much laughing throughout.
  32. FROM THE CURMUDGEON’S CORNER. “Hey, there’s Bray on CNN,” remarked a fellow occupant of the CC. “Who,” I asked him? “Bray Buchanan,” he said.
  33. . . . He was intentionally calling Bay Buchanan, a political analyst and Pat Buchanan’s sister, a name that reflects her oftentimes on-air banter which does, at times, go on and on.
  34. . . . “Sweetly brays the donkey …”
  35. . . . Mr. Big Stuff saw Bray, er … Bay, and said she looked like Tina Fey because she had on new (blue) plastic framey glasses on, the style everyone’s wearing now. She did look like Ms. Fey (who looks like Sarah Palin).
  36. Toure, a journalist and culture critic, described Barack Obama, in a pundit discussion on CNN’s Late Editon, as being cool and that he walked with a bob and wasn’t like Condi Rice and the others.
  37. . . . A bob is, according to Merriam-Webster.com, “a short, quick down-and-up motion.”
  38. Bruce Springsteen looked like he was wearing skinny jeans when he played at an Obama campaign rally in Cleveland just before the election.
  39. . . Skinny jeans. Those still in? They looked all gathered and clinging to his legs from the knees down to his low boots (which I liked).
  40. . . . Skinny jeans. The hole for the legs is so narrow. I couldn’t stand the production of putting ‘em on and taking ‘em off.
  41. FACT. Veteran CBS newsman Walter Cronkite turned 92 on election day. The Most Trusted Man in America, as he was often described during his reign as anchorman of The CBS Evening News, was in New York and planned to go sailing that day. Longevity runs in his family; his mother lived to be 101.
  42. LABELLE RETURNS. The Nightbirds (Patti LaBelle, Sarah Dash, Nona Hendryx) are back after some 30 years with an album that really spotlights what they do best: soulful gospel funk with a rock edge and glam influences. They’re all decked out in high hair, feathers, glitter and costumes like back in ’76.
  43. . . . The album (Back to Now on Verve Records) sounds pretty good, well produced by Lenny Kravitz, the legendary Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff, Wyclef Jean, Nona Hendryx and others.
  44. . . . They’ve been on the talk shows promoting it and have a big date coming up at New York’s Apollo Theater next month, a show probably well worth the ticket.
  45. A friend of mine said this: “I’d like to shove that OxyClean right down his throat,” referring to Billy Mays, that loud-talking infomercial spokesman and his many ‘yell at you’ ads on TV. Yeah, put a lid on it.
  46. Mariah Carey took 20 suitcases with her to the U.K. recently for a three-day stay in the country. She was to appear on The X Factor, their version of American Idol. According to reports and pictures from The Daily Mail, it took two trolleys to handle all the luggage.
  47. . . . Wonder how much extra that cost? (Now you have to pay for luggage on flights.) But she’s got the money. Just seemed a little excessive to me but who am I?
  48. . . . A big nobody, that’s who.
  49. RACHEL GETTING MARRIED. Anne Hathaway, can act. This family drama movie proves it. She plays a young woman (Kym) who returns from rehab for her sister’s (Rachel) wedding and causes all kinds of trouble. She’s the center of attention and takes the stage away from her Rachel when Rachel wants all the attention. There’s resentment and built-up hostility that exists in the family and that’s all explored. It’s funny in parts but Hathaway elicits sympathy and empathy. She’s quite a character. Small movie in scope but a very personal look into how addiction affects a family.
  50. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, took another trip back to her southern roots (she’s from Atlanta) with owner Sally down to Charleston, W.Va. When they pulled into the hotel driveway, the bellhops said, “Welcome back Miss Hanalie.” Her tail wagged.
  51. Yma Sumac, eclectic 1950’s Peruvian folk singer with a four-octave vocal range, died Nov. 1, of cancer in Los Angeles. She had this mystique thing going on (Incan princess?) and her music was described as exotica. Her recordings were arranged by Billy Mays on Capitol Records. She claimed jungle animals were among her musical influences and she oftentimes sang like the birds. She’s been considered very cult since her heyday but she was truly a unique talent. Check out her stuff.
  52. . . . Voice of Xtabay from 1950, originally on Capitol and now on The Right Stuff and The Ultimate Yma Sumac Collection will give you a good sampling.
  53. Sarah and Todd Palin’s - remember them? -- daughter, Fiber … er, I mean Piper, seems cut from the same cloth as her mother. She looks like her and seems to follow in her mother’s footsteps and enjoys the spotlight. You could see that on the campaign trail and at the Republican National Convention. (Little brat)
  54. . . . She was seen again this week (what network hasn’t she been on? She won’t stop giving interviews) on NBC when Matt Lauer of the Today show visited the family in Anchorage. There was Matt - first name basis only -- replete in his casual mode with a red crew neck sweater on, standing in the kitchen on the other side of the island facing Sarah, while she was cooking up something. How folksy. Asking her sympathetic questions, being on her turf.
  55. . . . And how great that Matt Lauer could bring those images to the rest of America.
  56. REVISIT. Remember that 1991Nirvana/Nevermind album cover that showed a naked little boy with his winkie showing in a swimming pool with a dollar bill floating near him? The famous picture was recreated 17 years later with a grown up Spencer Elden at the Rose Bowl Aquatic Center in Pasadena, Calif., recently.
  57. . . . He had his clothes on this time though.
  58. UH . . . We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off -- Jermaine Stewart, on Arista Records, 1986.


rocci@roccifisch.com

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