|November 24, 2002
OUR TURKEYS DON'T DO DRUGS
- . . . That's what a sign outside my health food store says. Do they really taste any different? And while we're at it, do free-range chickens taste any happier?
- That Bachelor guy Aaron Buerge sure did a lot of kissing in his TV show. In the limo, in the hot tub, at the beach, on the sofa, in the pool ... Jeesh, it's a wonder his lips didn't fall off.
- . . . Is ABC gonna give him his own TV show now? He got sky high ratings. Maybe they oughta do something with him. They owe him one.
- That picture of Halle Berry wearing an orange bikini with a white gun (actually knife) holster wrapped around her waist is sure making the rounds. She's a tough cookie in Die Another Day and answers "Yo mama" while she's being questioned by the bad guys.
- The Al Gore media blitz has been a bit much. Supposedly tied to the release of not one, but two books about family, he and Tipper have been everywhere there's a TV camera. So is he gonna run again? He told The Washington Post's Lloyd Grove he's waiting until after the holidays.
- . . . Will Babs Streisand sing a song for him about what a savior he is?
- ANOTHER WAY TO PLUG THINGS. On the cover of Phil Collins' new Testify CD there's a sticker that says the song, Can't Stop Loving You, is "featured in the Toyota Avalon commercial." So now a commercial's not just selling cars but CD's too.
- Actor Campbell Scott turns in a really good performance in Roger Dodger. He plays a slick know-it-all single New Yorker who tutors his nephew on how to pick up women. Roger talks a blue streak spouting off his philosophy of what women want and the kid is terrific as a jittery, nervous greenhorn.
- TONE HIM DOWN. "Thrilled to be here!" is what CNN's Martin Savidge exclaimed at the top of the Live From program last week. I'd say it's a little over-enthusiastic. Lower the schmaltz a few notches, will ya bub?
- Exactly what would Jesus drive? Supposedly not a gas guzzling SUV, but Jerry Falwell drives a Suburban. What do you make of that?
- New York's Museum of Sex is a popular draw and well over its initial projections. Up to 3,000 people drop by on the weekends and 500 do it on the weekdays. The current exhibit shows porno.
- A friend of mine just got high-speed Internet service and now he needs a new computer to handle it. All he uses it for is word processing, Internet and e-mail but the thing's not working right. They don't tell you that when you elect to get the service. Figures.
- So what are trans-fatty acids? Are they in my orange juice?
- SHORT MEMORY. "Dr. Phil's following up with his most memorable guests," says a promo for the show. Hell, he hasn't been on the air that long. His show just started.
- Anne Murray's commercial for her Country Classics album (1-800-791-5566) needs a little bit more production. It just shows closeups of her singing the songs—not much else. Very TV cable-ish. Let's get a little more original.
- Mr. Big Stuff thought those models on that Victoria's Secret TV special walked awfully fast and funny down the runway. "Maybe they did it to bounce things around a bit," he said.
- BUCKLING UNDER. Now Philip Morris is putting little disclaimer packets inside their cigarette packs saying that there is no such thing as a safe cigarette and that the terms "Ultra Light," "Light," "Medium" and "Mild" are merely "descriptors." Descriptors ...Whaaat?
- A female comedian auditioning for the annual U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen had this joke: "I could never be bulimic because I'm a procrastinator ... I eat, and then I'm like, ‘Ah, I'll throw up tomorrow.'" Ha Ha Ha.
- Rock ‘n' Roll Neck is actually a condition brought on by whiplash-like motion of the head and neck on stage and is something that actually caused funkster Rick James to have a stroke.
- 8 Simple Rules' John Ritter's really packed on the pounds. Maybe it's for the TV dad role he plays.
- Martha Stewart's selling home decorations for Christmas for Kmart despite her recent woes. It's done with a voice-over though and you don't see her on-camera.
- UH . . . Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee on Decca, from 1960. Comes back every year.
© Rocci Fisch/Random Thoughts
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