HOLIER THAN THOU

1. . . . Rush Limbaugh.
2. I like it when Ellen DeGeneres does a little dance after the opening monologue on her TV show. The DJ plays a hunk of a song and she does some moves before sitting down. A little silly but it works. I think the show's a hit. She's likable, it seems a comfortable format for her and she's funny with people.
3. BAD CHOICE. That shot of Latin legend Celia Cruz that ran on the cover of the People En Espanol issue that celebrated her life looked like she was lying in a coffin.
4. The woman (Carla Gugino) who plays Karen Sisco on ABC's new crime drama, looks something like Diane Sawyer, especially from the nose down to the end of her face. The lips are the same.
5. FLU VACCINE. Try saying that 10 times.
6. "No rain in the rain bucket today," said ABC7 meteorologist Joe Witte. That's one I haven't heard in a long time.
7. I guess the reason that video of Rush Limbaugh confessing the other day looked a bit slow-mo-ish and not the highest of quality was that it came off his Web site, www.RushLimbaugh.com. They oughta upgrade that.
8. OXYCONTIN. Hillbilly heroin.
9. Kobe Bryant went cas (casual) to his trial hearing the other day. Had on a polo shirt with his suit rather than wearing a tie as people involved in criminal charges usually do. Disrespectful? Some think it might work against him.
10. Barbra Streisand says she can't boil water or make an egg.
11. RUSH. His maid ratted on him.
12. Rob Becker's back in Washington with his Defending the Caveman show. People still seem to love it. He originally wrote it in 1991; it was on Broadway for two and a half years and it's still traveling around the country. And there are other performances of it that play around the world. He said this week, in an online discussion with washingtonpost.com, that being on Letterman was a gas and that music director Paul Shaffer "asks you what song you want played when you come on stage."
13. MENTIONING AGAIN. Many female TV anchors wear leather jackets on Fridays. (Judy Woodruff's done it, Elizabeth Vargas, Kyra Phillips) I guess it's like dressing down on the last day of the work week. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.
14. Did Maria Shriver get Arnold elected? Didn't hurt.
15. JUST ASKING. Is it true that when baby tigers were born at Siegfried and Roy's compound that they were immediately taken away from their mothers to be raised by humans? Is that why they were more docile?
16. Some people are offended by that Quizno's Wolf Boy commercial that shows him nursing on a mother wolf. It is a bit odd but some people like it.
17. The other day CNN's Wolf Blitzer had to cut off a guest because they were running out of time in the segment. A coworker of mine asked, "How can they be out of time when the network's on 24 hours a day?"
18. RUSH. The Nationial Enquirer got the story first.
19. Tom Brokaw was driving a convertible in LA the other day during one of his reports about Arnold Schwarzenegger for Nightly News and he kept looking at the camera in between watching the road ahead. It made me nervous. I was worried he might have an accident.
20. Restaurants used to brag about big portions but now the In thing is to go smaller. Supersize is out as people constantly fret about weight.
21. Whoops, there's another new anchor on MSNBC. This time it's Contessa Brewer. She was paired with Bob Kur this week. I was just getting used to Laurie Jennings and Randy Meier. They've got a big door that swings over there. Ashleigh Banfield even made an on-air jab about it last week, saying that things change a lot over there.
22. Arnold can't run for president because he's not American born, even though he is a U.S. citizen. Some people say that maybe could change at some point.
23. "The finest apples from apple land make Mott's applesauce taste grand." How many people remember that one? They used to show singing apples on the tree doing the song. I mention this because washingtonpost.com's Kim O'Donnel (What's Cooking) had Washington radio station WTOP news anchors taste-test homemade sauce compared to store-bought. They liked Kim's better.
24. Arnold Schwarzenegger would make a good Frankenstein. He's got the head for it.
25. POINT OF CLARIFICATION. Cable TV does not "broadcast" like the regular TV networks do over the airwaves. So when anchors or reporters refer to their shows as broadcasts it's technically wrong.
26. "SMELLS LIKE DECOMP." That's what they said on CSI: Miami two times last week. A body was in a room with maggots all over it and it turned out the girl was not dead and decomposing. She's Alive! No smell.
27. SCHOOL OF ROCK Rocks! Jack Black takes over a school class and makes the kids into a rock band behind the back of a straight-laced principal played by Joan Cusack. The kids are great and the whole thing's very funny. Black, in real life, does have a band and it shows. He's got it down. Very funny movie for all ages.
28. Lloyd Grove, the former Reliable Source of The Washington Post, is now at New York's Daily News and his new column's called Lowdown. It started Sept. 29 and had a story about George Bush's uncle, Jonathan Bush, who bought a box of mail-order remote-controlled "fart machines" which he gives as gag gifts to friends and relatives. Leave it up to Lloyd.
29. Your Body Is A Wonderland. Are some women offended by that song by John Mayer or do they like it?
30. How come singer Seal calls each one of his albums Seal? Isn't it confusing?
31. UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN. It's a pretty fairytale kind of movie, plot-wise, but Diane Lane saves it. So do other characters in the movie, Italian scenery and situations. Not bad.
32. Does former underwear model Travis Fimmel play a good Tarzan?
33. Lauren Hutton looks awful on the cover of AARP's November/December issue. Apparently she doesn't believe in combing her hair and it just hangs there in strings. And put the gap-filler back in the teeth please, while you're at it.
34. They say ratings for ABC's This Week are up.
35. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, is going to the Howl-o-Ween party at her neighborhood Petco in a pink hula skirt with a hole cut out for her tail and a Hawaiian lei around her neck. Sally, her owner, thinks she'll win the contest.
36. CBS Sunday Morning did their usual end-of-show nature thing this week. It was autumn leaves in New Mexico. Things are usually quiet with just the sounds of nature in these pieces, but in this one you could hear what sounded like noise from a lawn mower or something. I was surprised. Ruined tranquility. Then you could hear what sounded like voices in the distance. So the segment wasn't as mellow as it usually is.
37. Barbra Streisand's new movie album is being hawked on TV for $18.98. You'd think she'd be above that kind of advertising.
38. "YOU WORK FOR A SHYSTER." That's what a homeless man in the park yelled at me today when he asked if I was being paid time and a half for working today, Columbus Day, and I told him no. He's smart. I'm not.
39. UH . . . Sitting in the Park - Billy (Fat Boy) Stewart on Chess Records. From D.C. Unusual voice.

rocci@roccifisch.com

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