October 13, 2006

GO GET LOST IN A CORN MAZE

1. . . . And don’t let the black snakes bite-cha.
2. THEY’RE GOING DOWN.  Tower Records.  Bankrupt, and nobody wants to buy ‘em.  The end of the big inventory “record” store.  Time and technology march on. 
3. . . . It’s a shame.
4. SALTY TONGUE.  Barbra Streisand’s got one.  She yelled at a heckler in the audience at her concert at Madison Square Garden in New York  to “Shut the ‘F’ up”  during a skit Ms. Streisand was doing with a George Bush impersonator (Steve Bridges) that some in the crowd thought was too long.  They wanted more singing and not politics.
5. . . . The Today show’s Matt Lauer asked Meredith Vieira, after showing a generic Streisand concert clip, what she thought and Vieira said she didn’t necessarily like mixing politics and performance.  So she gave an honest opinion.
6. . . . Streisand apologized to the audience for her outburst but said that “the artist’s role is to disturb” and talked about tolerance.
7. . . . You know what I say?  Just sing and shut the ‘F’ up.
8. Fox News conservative commentator Cal Thomas no longer has that dyed jet black hair he used to sport.  The color’s lighter now, more natural but not blond (thank God), more brown-ish with a hint of red (possibly).  Better for the image, softer.
9. “HEARTIER NOOKS, HEALTHIER CRANNIES.”  That’s what they say in those Thomas’ English Muffins commercials.  I do like the Hearty Grains ones, pretty good.
10. When Mr. Big Stuff saw Gloria Estefan on Good Morning America singing a slow, new boring ballad he immediately launched into what she’s known for and started singing “Conga” (1986). 
11. . . . “Come on, shake your body baby, do the conga …” 
12. . . . Yeah, that’s more like it. 
13. THE DEPARATED.  Finally there’s a decent movie out there to see.  Director Martin Scorsese’s film about an Irish-American crime war in South Boston with undercover moles infiltrating the mob and the police department.  Stars Jack Nicholson as the crime boss and he’s good.  Doesn’t do the usual Nicholson schtick.  Good acting.  Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg, Martin Sheen and Alec Baldwin are in it too and they’re good.  Lots of hard, crude, filthy language but it works with that crowd.  Go see it.
14. CBS News correspondent Barry Petersen referred to North Korean President Kim Jong -il as “the man with a permanent bad hair day” in his report the other night for the Evening News.  This, I’d say, is very true.
15. . . . Jong-il likes some wave or curl in his hair/doesn’t like it straight
16. A WORD I HATE:  Proactive.  It’s so bossy and aggressive.
17. In one of ABC’s  three-fer prime time promos for Ugly Betty, Grey’s Anatomy and Six Degrees on Wednesday night the announcer says the episodes are “All New.”  Well, I hope so.  The new TV season just started;  it’s only the third week into it.  It’s not time for reruns yet. 
18. News4 Washington has a new weekend anchor.  Former ABC Newsman Keith Garvin was on last weekend, sharing the morning duties with Shannon Bream.  (Maybe they were breaking him in.)  So I guess he’s made the move from network to local, which sometimes happens.  It’s usually the other way around but it does happen when a net news person takes a local anchor job.  Often the money is better.  Good luck to him.
19. TREND.  I’m noticing more double-vented suits and jackets for men, the flap in the back.  We’re seeing the style in current magazines, on TV and on the street.  (CNN weatherman/newsman Rob Marciano had one on the other day.) And it seems like the fit of the ensemble is tighter too, sort of a ‘60s Brit throwback.  The style is for the young though and it doesn’t really work well if the wearer is endowed in the rump because the flaps ride up.
20. . . . And speaking of jackets … The one the new Bachelor was wearing the other night when he was giving out the roses should have been steam-pressed before they taped that segment.  The hind shot of him revealed numerous wrinkles and creases where they shouldn’t have been.  Who’s the set dresser on that show?  People on TV need to be perfect and he wasn’t, for wardrobe reasons.  So fire somebody.
21. WAITING . . . For “great friends” Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King to have a falling-out.  You know it’s gonna happen.  All that sweetness and light between ‘em, it’s sickening.  I can’t wait to see that shoe drop. 
22. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, made a trip again down to Charleston, S.C., last weekend with owner Sally and the dog’s Uncle Bill and Aunt Katie.  When they got to Richmond Hanalie started barking a lot – her signal to Sally to stop the car so she could go to the bathroom.  So they stopped at a scenic overlook and Hanalie relieved herself, got back in the car and the trip resumed.
23. . . . That dog rules the roost.
24. What happened to Joey Lawrence’s hair? (Dancing With the Stars)  He was that teen heartthrob on Blossom (1991-1995) and had a full head of it.  Did he lose it or is it just shaved?  You can’t tell anymore.  Is he a has-been now?  And where’s his little brother?
25. DETECTING:  More hair on Matt Lauer’s head.  I think it’s enhanced.  Maybe Rogaine Foam?
26. A fellow dweller in the Curmudgeons Corner thinks MSNBC’s Rita Cosby sounds like a barking seal.  That’s nice. 
27. I don’t like Desperate Housewife (Gabrielle) Eva Longoria’s  new lightened hair.  She’s got great brown/chestnut hair.  It fits her, is natural.  The lightened look makes her look pale.  Go back baby.  Go back to your roots.
28. SONG OUTBURST.  “Come Mr. Taliban, tally me banana …” (Modified Banana Boat Song for the Iraq war).
29. Do free range chickens taste better?
30. Someone wrote into Washington Post TV columnist Lisa de Moraes’s online chat last week to say this:  “I went to the movies this weekend and found myself reaching for the remote control.  Do you think I watch too much TV?”  Funny.
31. THE DEATH KNELL WILL COME . . . To The Megan Mullally Show.  It’s gonna happen. 
32. . . . How do these people get these jobs?
33. CBS Newswoman Lara Logan sounds like a nanny with that accent.
34. Someone saw that current movie Half Nelson starring Ryan Gosling (The Notebook) and said that about 45 minutes into the film he was so nauseous that he almost had to leave because of the way it was shot with hand-held cameras.  He stuck it out but came very close to getting sick in the parking lot .  Other than that he said the movie was pretty good.
35. . . . I’m over hand-held cameras.  Put the contraption on a tripod for crissakes and keep the shots steady.
36. Janet Jackson was on the Today show last week and “sang”/performed some selections.  She whisper-sings and doesn’t project.  She was out on the Plaza, people needed to hear.  I could barely detect what she was saying while watching her on TV.  And she makes no effort to try to sing louder for the audience, make an effort.  She could care less.  It’s all dance moves and sexiness with her. 
37. . . . And that new choreography she’s doing … teetering and toddling side-to-side made her look like Charlie Chaplin.  It was totally laughable.  Where’d she come up with that concept?
38. I asked a co-worker if he had any lithium batteries and this is what he said to me:  “You don’t need the batteries, you just need the lithium.” 
39. . . . Is this true?  Do I need sedation?  (Don’t answer that.)
40. UH . . . Is It True? – Brenda Lee, on Decca.  1964.  She’s the one who did Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.  They used to call her Little Miss Dynamite.