THE BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AND THE GRASS IS GROWING

1. . . . Spring is busting out all over. Beautiful weekend - the first we've had in a while. Revitalization.
2. GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY. Among the cable news folk, in a TV Guide poll, 16% said they trusted Fox News' Shepard Smith, beating out CNN's Aaron Brown (11%) and MSNBC's Brian Williams (4%). Fox News ... I just don't get it.
3. On Cher's TV special, she was talking to the audience about being around for so long and said, "I've been out here for so many frickin' years ..." and repeated it two more times. I could see freakin', but frickin'?
4. Lionel Richie was the guest celebrity judge on last week's American Idol. He had a lot to say to each performer when they were finished. The panel was criticizing contestant Rickey Smith's version of Richie's Endless Love and some didn't like it. Curmudgeon judge Simon Cowell said he didn't like how the kid did it and for that matter, didn't like the way Richie sang it either in his original hit recording. That Simon's got b_ _ _ s.
5. George Bush and Dick Cheney already have envelopes printed up which say BUSH - CHENEY TRANSITION in the upper left return address area.
6. FUN. That Toys "R" Us commercial with the multiplying bunnies singing "Here comes Peter Cottontail ... hoppin' down the bunny trail ..." is pretty funny. They sound sorta chipmunky.
7. Last week during all that day-after-day rain we had, ABC7 News weatherman Doug Hill had a Puddle Duckie that waddled on his 7-day forecast map.
8. . . . "Oh ‘Raindrops' ... so many raindrops ..."
9. You can tell it's been a busy news day when TV anchors take off their coats. ABC's Peter Jennings did it and so did CNN's Leon Harris last week.
10. PLAY CARDS. I'd like to have that deck of those cards the U.S. military has issued as a most-wanted list of 55 former leaders in Saddam Hussein's regime. They've been giving them out to the troops in the field in order to help them identify the thugs. But doesn't a normal deck contain 54?
11. Yoko Ono, who goes by ONO when referred to musically, is high on the Billboard dance music charts with new remixes of her Walking on Thin Ice, a song she recorded in 1981 during the Double Fantasy recording sessions with John Lennon. (I was playing it on my computer in my office last week and people kept complaining, asking, "Who's doing all that screaming?")
12. Regarding all the looting in Baghdad this week, British ITV newsman John Irvine said, "Call it plunder. If you will, in other words, payback ..." I can see that.
13. I guess you could say those Bush and Blair TV messages to the Iraqi people were closed- captioned in Arabic.
14. Are they gonna put pieces of Saddam Hussein statues on ebay?
15. Russell Crowe got married and had his hair all pulled back. It wasn't too complimentary. Hunky he didn't look; scrubbed up he did.
16. Mr. Big Stuff wonders if the Iraqi referred to as Chemical Ali has a brother named Biological Ali.
17. Former DC mayor Marion Barry says he might run again ... for something. (He's lost weight and it shows in his face.)
18. Where's Tony Orlando and Dawn when you need ‘em? ("Tie a Yellow Ribbon ..."
19. MOVIE BOO-BOO. Regarding the current film, Phone Booth, a woman wrote in to The New York Times and said, "New Yorkers have not seen an enclosed phone booth on the street in 10 or 15 years." She thought the movie must be going for "magic realism."
20. Somebody said suicide bombers are dressed to kill.
21. Who are these neocons everybody's talking about? Sounds a bit inside to me.
22. PATIENT PRIVACY RULES CHANGING: HERE COMES BIG BROTHER AGAIN. Now the government will have access to everyone's PHI (Protected Health Information) - "information that may identify you and relates to your past, present or future health ... and the dispensing of pharmaceutical products for you," says an insert to in recent prescription from CVS/pharmacy. This due to the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). So what do they want all that for?
23. Gen. Tommy Franks says they've got Saddam Hussein's DNA. For crissakes, don't let that get into the hands of a cloner.
24. TV Guide gave a Jeer to Matt Lauer for when he co-anchored the Today show from Qatar. They said his sunglasses and pressed/colored shirts were "better suited to the confines of the studio. NBC already has one peacock."
25. ANGER MANAGEMENT. Amusing flick but not great. Adam Sandler's character is understated and Jack Nicholson's is over the top. Jack plays, uh ... Jack, again. Marisa Tomei is good in a minor role and others make cameos, including Woody Harrelson and Rudy Giuliani. The ending's almost embarrassingly sickening sweet.
26. If I hear that "Go where you wanna go, do what you wanna do" song one more time for Singulair, I'll ... Boy do they know how to pound something into your head.
27. . . . Actually the song was vocal group the Fifth Dimension's first single release in 1967, written by John Phillips of The Mamas and the Papas. His group did an album cut on it.
28. YET ANOTHER MICHAEL JACKSON SPECIAL. On April 24, Fox will air Michael Jackson's Private Home Movies, a 2-hour special that will supposedly have the singer narrating a "never-seen personal archive, including footage of friends and family." Where do they get all this stuff? You know Jackson orchestrates it all. Former wife Lisa Marie Presley said he was very smart.
29. . . . Lisa's on the cover of the current Rolling Stone. Good quote in story: "I thought I could save Michael and we could save the world. OK. Hello. I was delusionary."
30. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, is taking a car trip down to Charleston this week. She's traveling with owner Sally and she'll watch the ships being unloaded. Dog's got opportunities.
31. USA Network's rushing to put out a TV movie about the D.C. snipers called The Beltway. That's a boring title. (They wanted to have D.C. sniper in the title, but Mayor Anthony Williams complained and said it would give the city a bad name.) Charles Dutton will play police chief Charles Moose. It's scheduled to air sometime this year. Should they do that while those guys are still being investigated and haven't even had a trial yet?
32. PAGING DR. GUPTA AND DR. BOB ARNOT. They're both in Baghdad.
33. The Bachelor seems rushed this time around. And would somebody tell the wardrobe person to make sure he/she steam irons the back of his jacket? When he walked into the room to dole out the winning roses you could see it was all wrinkly.
34. How long is Catherine Zeta-Jones gonna be pregnant?
35. Bob Dole looks different. At least he did on 60 Minutes in that Clinton/Dole, Dole/Clinton segment. His face looks sorta pulled up and his hair's in a new, more contemporary style.
36. Snoop Dogg is a porno producer. That's what Access Hollywood said.
37. CUTTING BACK? A Catholic friend of mine was disappointed yesterday - Palm Sunday - because they didn't give out as many palms as they used to. He just got a couple.
38. That released POW Ronald Young looked a bit like Ben Affleck, running to the plane. Movie star-ish.
39. UH . . . Everybody Is A Star - Sly & The Family Stone on Epic. 1970.

rocci@roccifisch.com

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