December 1, 2014

 

THE NIGHT WAS FILLED WITH BOOTY

  1. . . . There was a "Whole Lot of Shakin’ Goin’ On" (Jerry Lee Lewis, 1957, on Sun Records but first done by Big Maybelle in 1955, on OKeh Records, produced by a young Quincy Jones) at the AMAs (American Music Awards) two weeks ago.
  2. . . . Back to the booty.
  3. . . . Everybody was sticking their butts out.
  4. . . . British songstress Jessie J, wearing a tight gold bodysuit, came trotting down the aisle singing her hit, “Bang Bang,” and stopped to ‘booty bump’ with Kloe Kardashian, who then gave JJ a goodbye slap on her backside as she furthered her trip down the aisle of the Nokia Theatre in L.A., stopping by Taylor Swift to give her a little nudge on her butt too. Swift honored the advance and they both did some booty bumping. (Taylor likes to dance at all these music functions and is always in the front row.)
  5. . . . The booty bump is somewhat like doing the “butt,” a popular dance back in 1988.
  6. (. . . “Doin’ Da’ But – Experience Unlimited, 1988 on EMI-Manhattan Records.)
  7. . . . Josh Duhamel introduced his wife Fergie with a loud shout-out and mentioned earlier in his intro that she made cute babies (son Axl Jack Duhamel.).
  8. . . . Then mommy appeared and danced/ slithered around her ‘love bus,’ performing her latest single, “L.A. Love (La La).”
  9. . . . She had on a fashionable bathing suit-type thing with a loose cover top which, at the end of the song, she started to take off. She was having a bit of difficulty doing it while holding a microphone at the same time.
  10. . . . One half came off okay. The other, not so much.
  11. . . . That half was stuck to her body suit and dangling from inside her right cheek booty area.
  12. . . . It reminded me of toilet paper sticking to your shoes after you leave the restroom.
  13. . . . So she yanked it out, it fell to the stage floor and she boarded the bus.
  14. . . . She handled it with grace.
  15. . . . Of course, reporters called it a “minor wardrobe malfunction,” recalling Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake at the Super Bowl ten years ago.
  16. . . . I’m sure Duhamel, father of her child, was proud of the kid’s mother.
  17. . . . The sexy look was all the rage and there was a lot of gallivanting here and there.
  18. . . . Heidi Klum (What was she doing there? Seal wasn’t performing. Ha Ha Ha.) was seen in the audience bobbing her head to the beat and then later appeared as a presenter showing some long gams of her own through a high slit dress.
  19. . . . Christina Milian – who’s she? -- strutted her stuff around rapper Lil Wayne while singing and him rapping “Start a Fire.”
  20. . . . So there was a lot of strutting about, revealing much leg and thigh action on Milian’s part.
  21. . . . Nikki Minaj was relatively reserved and didn’t turn her back on the audience for any kind of rear exposure.
  22. . . . Mary J. Blige played it dignified but sang a depressing song called “Therapy,” which she co-wrote with the currently hot British soul singer Sam Smith. She did it straight to camera with no folderol. No rear shots of her. She’s older now and was never, to my knowledge, much of a rump shaker.
  23. . . . More demure.
  24. . . . Maybe she’s through with the acrobatics and was there to sing, which the other stars of the night might take heed to.
  25. . . . Lorde, New Zealand singer-songwriter, performed “Yellow Flicker Beat” (from the latest “Hungry, er … “Hunger Games” movie, “Mockingjay Part 1).
  26. . . . She did a lot of head and hair thrashing in what looked like a padded cell; then she got out of it. It was very special-effected.
  27. . . . She looked perfect for a haunted vampire role.
  28. . . . ADVICE: Shave that hair like Sinead O’Connor did and be done with it, for God’s sake.
  29. . . . Katy Perry, who wasn’t there but appeared on-screen from Australia (she’s on her “Prismatic World Tour”) and thanked everyone for her win for her single, “Dark Horse,” plus she garnered two other AMAs.
  30. . . . But she did do her version of accenting her booty by sticking her rump out while she held on to the railing aboard a yacht in Sydney Harbor. (This picture ran in a newspaper a day later and wasn’t on the show, so I guess she’s in the clear.)
  31. . . . Host Pitbull said this at the top of the show: “We’re gonna be getting loose. We’re gonna be partying. We’re gonna be off the chain.” (“Chained” – Marvin Gaye, 1968, on Tamla Records.)
  32. . . . Pitbull really knows how to get a party started.
  33. . . . He was a good host and performer and was duded up real fine in a white dinner jacket, cummerbund, starched white shirt and bow tie, ready to give it up.
  34. . . . And Jennifer Lopez (J.Lo, of course) and Iggy Azalea (azalea bush?) performed their new single “Booty” as the final performance of the night.
  35. . . . Boy, didn’t they plug it enough, announcing it just before each commercial break all night long.
  36. . . . J.Lo yelled to the audience: “Put up your hands if you got a big booty!”
  37. . . . I don’t know how many hands went up.
  38. . . . The two writhed and slithered their wet, oily-looking butts together in many quickly-cut close-up shots, their hair dangling down and all mussed up.
  39. . . . “Miss” Diana Ross, looking great, was introduced to give out the first “Dick Clark Award of Excellence.” She got a standing ovation.
  40. . . . And the winner was . . . Taylor Swift. No surprise.
  41. . . . Swift praised Ross for blazing a trail for women long before now and couldn’t believe she was introduced by the music legend.
  42. . . . Swift took the opportunity to stress the importance of buying music and albums, a knock at the current issue of artists not getting their just due for their music because everybody is downloading and streaming it.
  43. . . . You want the music, you pay for it!
  44. . . . Several times during the Clark segment there were shots of a blond woman with a bun atop her head (her signature look). That was Kari Clark, his wife (third) of 35 years.
  45. . . . Don’t you think someone would’ve thought to mention her? Don’t you think the director could have “supered/matted” her name at the bottom of the screen to let people know who she was and that she was there for a show that Dick Clark started in 1973?
  46. . . . Out of sight, out of mind.
  47. . . . A SIDE NOTE. Billboard magazine recently announced that it will start adding “streams” and downloads of tracks to its chart counts for its “Top 200” albums in order to get a more accurate picture of the weekly scorecard.
  48. . . . Stream this.
  49. . . . SOME OTHER THINGS:
  50. . . . If I hear “Let It Go” one more time I’ll . . .
  51. NBC’s “No Shave TODAY” campaign has had Matt Lauer, Al Roker, Carson Daly and Willie Geist growing beards for November. Some didn’t look so good.
  52. . . . They were doing it to raise awareness of men’s health issues.
  53. . . . Some trimmed them down, maybe because the end of the month was approaching.
  54. . . . Matt and Al’s were gray while Willie and Carson’s aren’t.
  55. . . . I guess it shows the generational pull of the show.
  56. WARNING. The commercial says that if one experiences an erection lasting more than four hours using Cialis (for erectile dysfunction) that you should make a bee line to the emergency room and “seek immediate” (I doubt it) help to avoid long-term injury.”
  57. . . . Four hours! What if I was going to see my mother or if I had to make a public speech?
  58. . . . And now a woman is doing Viagra commercials, a similar product, with a come-hither sexy, knowing grin. I guess they need to take care of their men. After all, it’s a two-way street.
  59. . . . (“Love on a Two-Way Street” – The Moments, 1970, on Stang Records.)
  60. . . . In somewhat of a similar vein, there was a plug on Washington’s WTOP radio promoting an upcoming segment with Dr. Drew which asked the question, “Do vegetarian men have lower sperm counts?”
  61. . . . I didn’t listen to find out.
  62. . . . He and Dr. Oz can both take a flying leap.
  63. ANNOYING COMMERCIAL. “People who know, know BDO.”
  64. . . . I don’t care about knowing them. They sound like a buncha scalpers.
  65. . . . (FYI: They’re an international accountancy, tax and consulting firm.)
  66. . . . Binder Dijker Otte, their full names.
  67. CBS’s “Face the Nation” celebrated its 60th anniversary at the Newseum in Washington, D.C. a couple of weeks ago.
  68. . . . (They still have the same set. CORRECTION: They’ve changed it maybe two times in the past six decades.)
  69. . . . They’re still not as old as “Meet the Press” (67 last week).
  70. . . . FYI: ABC’s “This Week (With David Brinkley)” started in 1981 but before that there was “Issues and Answers,” which competed with “MTP” and “FTN.” “I&A” was on from 1960 to 1981 after it was replaced by "This Week" which, obviously, is still running, bringing the overall ABC total to 57 years. (I think I counted that right.)
  71. . . . John McCain was at the “Face the Nation” party. He’s been on the show 101 times. (He’s probably been on the others the same or more.)
  72. . . . He’s always blabbing away. Doesn’t he ever spend Sunday morning at home with his family?
  73. . . . UH . . . “Sunday Will Never Be the Same” – Spanky and Our Gang, 1967, on Mercury Records.


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