December 9, 2012

 

“I WENT FROM A HARD STALLION TO A WET NOODLE.”

1. . . . So said Mike Tyson on the Yahoo! Sports show “In Depth,” and before that on Conan O’Brien’s show and also in his Broadway show (“Mike Tyson:  Undisputed Truth’) this past summer.
2. . . . I guess he meant that he lost his, uh, manhood, when he saw his former wife, Robin Givens (“Head of the Class”), drive up to the house with Brad Pitt, of all people.
3. . . . This happened in the late 80s, before Pitt was a big star.
4. . . . Tyson said that despite he and Givens getting a divorce after being married for just a year (’88-’89) they still had sexual relations.
5. . . . I guess he wasn’t beating her up then.
6. . . . Tyson said that he was going over to the house for a “quickie.”
7. . . . “You should have saw his (Pitt’s) face when he saw me,” said the retired boxer.
8. . . . “I was just emotionally comatose and “went from a hard stallion to a wet noodle.”
9. . . . Classy.
10. NEW TO ME.  Tempur-Pedic makes a memory foam dog bed. 
11. . . . One’s called a “Deep Dish” and another’s called a “Dream Lounger.”
12. . . . “They provide your dog with “comfortable sleep” and are “engineered specifically for dogs to cushion their joints as they sleep.
13. . . . A dog’s life.
14. “HITCHCOCK” -- the movie about the moviemaker. 
15. . . . It’s about the relationship he had with his wife (Alma, played by Helen Mirren) and the making of his thriller “Psycho.”
16. . . . Anthony Hopkins plays the director in a prosthetic fat suit and complimentary makeup to make him portly.
17. . . . He adapts his speech to match the real Hitchcock.  It’s overdone.
18. . . . Scarlett Johansson stars as Janet Leigh, the real-life actress who played in the movie’s famous shower scene.
19. . . . Jessica Biel’s in it too as one of his movie actresses.  She plays Vera Miles.
20. . . . Hopkins’s portrayal (heavy and slow British accent) is a bit overexaggerated.  His affectations wore on me.
21. . . . The movie goes into his obsession with the blonde women he often cast who played major characters in his films.
22. . . . Movie’s just okay.
23. . . . By the way, The New York Times reports that “Psycho” is being revisited in an A&E series called “Bates Motel,” for which the cable network is conducting a contest for someone to come up with a 15-second title sequence that captures the feel of the motel.
24. . . . They don’t want it to be slasher/horror-like but rather as a “character-driven thriller.”
25. Last night in a restaurant in D.C. I saw a woman who had lights on both ends of her reading glasses which she seemed to be using to read the menu.  (She was with a noisy crowd.)
26. . . . Floodlights.
27. . . . I thought the beams were some sort of Christmas decoration.
28. . . . I hope that doesn’t happen to me although I’m on my way to it.
29. . . . Barbra Streisand’s son, Jason Gould (father, Elliott) has an EP (old term: extended play record (CD) that has just a few cuts) out and he sounds very much like mommy.  Uncanny.  Creepy, a friend of mine said.
30. . . . You can hear every breath he takes in his songs and it sounds a bit affected.
31. . . . He’s got a good voice but his delivery is often sad, drawn out, melancholy.
32. . . . Suffering in love.
33. . . . Hopeless romantic.
34. SKINNY EVERYTHING.  I don’t care how narrow they make lapels and tight-fitting suits and pants these days, they’re uncomfortable and make the wearer look like he’s stuffed in.
35. . . . Overly tightly tailored is some designer’s idea of hipness?  Where do they get these people?
36. . . . And they’ve done it with jeans that you can hardly put your feet and legs through.
37. . . . And they fit “just below the waist,” which is unnatural for male clientele.
38. . . . This drops the fit on the tuchus, causing the wearer to constantly pull them up, like hop-hoppers do.  
39. . . . It’s hard to find a pair of jeans that fit the old-fashioned way anymore, with the waist at the waist, the way it’s supposed to be.
40. . . . Forces dislikers to shop at dowdy stores.
41. AGAIN.  The White House Christmas tree on the Ellipse looks like an Isosceles triangle (pyramid?) with a blanket thrown over it. 
42. . . . The sides are straight down and you can’t see the natural branches sticking out, like the way a tree really looks.
43. . . . The Capitol Hill tree is much the same, looking like the trees they make for model train setups.
44. . . . Somebody tell Washington to quit making things look so perfect.  Mess it up a little.
45. . . . Anti-virus software founder John McAfee, who is wanted for suspected murder in Belize, has been in Guatemala seeking political asylum and fears for his life if he has to go back to Belize (formerly British Honduras).
46. . . . He complained of chest pains and was transferred from a detention center to a hospital in an ambulance on a gurney.
47. . . . He looked like Stalin resting in his coffin.
48. ABC’s Robin Roberts, at home recovering from a bone marrow transplant, was visited by her fellow hosts of GMA at her apartment in New York last week and served her mother’s famous Christmas punch.
49. . . . Lime sherbert and ginger ale.  Sounds good.
50. . . . They all danced “Gangnam Style,” hopping around horsey-style in the living room.
51. There was a va-va voom picture of NBC anchor Brian Williams’s daughter (Allison) in the New York Post this past week.
52. . . . She’s the actress on HBO’s “Girls” show.
53. . . . In a low-cut black (bra?) top with a coat dropping down from her bare shoulders, and a sexy stare.
54. . . . I guess she’s not following in daddy’s footsteps to a career in the news.
55. It seemed like they took forever to have Obama advisor David Axelrod’s mustache shaved off.  He’s had it for 40 some odd years.
56. . . . He said the shaving was like an archaeological dig it was so old.
57. . . . It was done for epilepsy research  (his daughter has it).
58. . . . The occasion was televised on the set of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” program.
59. . . . The Barber of Seville first trimmed own the ‘stache with an electric clipper and then scrape, scraped, scraped it off endlessly with a straight razor, ouch – not even dipping the razor in water each time he shaved a section, must’ve hurt.
60. . . . And he didn’t even put a towel under Axelrod’s chin to do it.
61. . . . In the end he looked younger.
62. . . . Back to Jessica Biel (of the “Hitchcock” movie).  She was quoted, saying of her marriage to Justin Timberlake:   “It (marriage) feels like you have this partner who is going to be with you and also change light bulbs and do the dishes …”
63. . . . Oh yeah? Justin’s gonna do that?
64. . . . Modern marriage?
65. JUST WONDERING.  If Katie Couric is upset because her executive producer, Jeff Zucker, is leaving her daytime show – “Katie” -- to become president of CNN Worldwide.
66. . . . The show’s only been on since September.
67. . . . Zucker admitted that he’d been talking with CNN since just after Labor Day.
68. . . . Keeping a secret?
69. . . . I guess he was juggling two balls with one hand.
70. . . . Where’d loyalty go?
71. JUST LISTEN. Rep. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.) sounds like Dana Carvey, formerly of “Saturday Night Live.”
72. . . . The one who did the impression of President Bush (George H.W.) and used to say, “Not gonna do it.  Wouldn’t be prudent.”
73. . . . He’s been on “Meet the Press” and many other talk shows about that good ole fiscal cliff, which we’re falling off of.
74. . . . He even looks like Carvey.
75. . . . Unbelievable.
76. Those “David Beckham Bodyware” ads for H&M are back just in time for Christmas.
77. . . . They accent his “natural” bulge.
78. . . . And Donald Trump no longer has blond hair in the ads for his “Signature Collection” of menswear.
79. . . . It looks like he’s got a dark rinse on it.
80. . . . His “signature” comb-back, however, is the same.
81. . . . UH . . . “Kookie, Kookie (Lend Me Your Comb)” – Ed (Kookie) Byrnes and Connie Stevens, on Warner Bros. Records, 1960.

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