Rocci Fisch

December 19, 2011

IT'S A SAD DAY IN SANTA'S WORKSHOP (TV COMMERCIAL)

… There's a problem: It's Christmas Eve but St. Nick's got an aching back and has a lot of work to do. He's gotta move.
… All the little elves are working hard and fast in his workshop but heisn't up for the trip. He's got back pain and he's moving slowly.
… But his toy sack is packed and he must go so takes off.
… Now he's on a rooftop and dreading that jump down the chimney.
… When he gets inside, the man of the house peeks around the corner and sees that Santa's not feeling up to par. He's moving slow, seems to be in pain.
… Dad sneaks by him while he's in the living room putting gifts underneath the tree.
… Santa turns around and sees a note on the table that reads: "2 A Day All Day Pain Relief," and a bottle of Aleve right next to the cookies.
… Santa smiles.
… Because "everyone deserves the gift of a pain-free holiday," says the announcer.
… Later, back at the North Pole with the little elfies he's cranking up the toy conveyor belt and smiling again, getting ready for next year.
… Awww.
The Palm Beach Tan shop in my neighborhood is offering free spray tans and I thought I saw Speaker of the House John Boehner in there. Ha Ha Ha.
… He did look like he had a lot of color last week up on Capitol Hill.
… Mr. Highfalutin asks, "When he cries does his tan run?"
The praying/kneeling Tim Tebow (Denver Broncos) looks a bit like (Scottish actor) Gerard Butler ("300," "Coriolanus") to me.
… Except that Tebow is a little more clean-cut. Butler was one of the presenters announcing the Golden Globes nominations last week and was all bearded up with his curly hair creeping down his neck.
… Looked a bit scruffy.
Katie Couric's shoes looked like clodhoppers when she was interviewing Chelsea Handler for her ABC TV special, "The Year with Katie Couric."
… You could see those unbelievably high platform shoes she was wearing on the wide shot.
… Looked like her feet were dead weights, like cement.
… How much higher and clunky can those things get? It can't be easy walking in 'em.
… Ask hip-hopper Nicki Minaj. She had to be escorted to the stage and held up by her consort at the American Music Awards a couple of weeks back because her shoes were so high that she couldn't make the trip unassisted. She was wobbly on top of the platforms.
"LONG AS GOD CAN GROW IT MY 'HAIR'" (The Cowsills, on MGM Records, from 1969): When Barbara Walters asked about Donald Trump's hair during an interview for her "10 Most Fascinating People" year-end special he said, "Pull it and you can see it's not a hairpiece."
… "I pulled it all the way back," she said. "I think it's okay."
… Fox's Megyn Kelly did pretty much the same thing last week during her interview with The Donald. Trump lifted his hair and pulled it back to prove that it was his own and then Kelly reached over and pulled it back to see for herself
… Don't we think these "reporters" are going a little bit over the line?
… Next thing you know they'll be asking them to strip down and show what kind of undergarments the men wear: boxers or briefs?
… And don't leave out the one woman in the GOP race for president. When are they going to ask Michele Bachmann what her bra size is?
NOTICED. Newt Gingrich recently got his ears lowered. He seems to go for the generic haircut. He certainly doesn't have any futsy stylist clicking the scissors around his head.
MOVIE: TINKER, TAILOR SOLDIER, SPY. Based on John leCarre's 1974 spy novel, the film captures the bleak days of the Cold War in and around Budapest, Hungary. Gary Oldman plays George Smiley, an espionage agent pulled out of retirement to uncover a Soviet agent, a mole.
… Interesting, filled with subterfuge and intrigue and beautifully shot and directed (Tomas Alfredson), capturing secret maneuvers in a perfect spy thriller.
Adventurous Today show weekend anchor Jenna Wolfe was at it again. This time flying with Cathy Rigby (59) as Peter Pan, which is currently playing at Madison Square Garden in New York (part of a national tour).
… Yes, she got harnessed up and flew up to the rafters of the theater.
… UH OH. While she was aloft she accidentally swallowed some 'fairy dust' (sparkly stuff). She seemed to worry out loud if it was okay and not damaging to her health. Rigby assured her andsaid not to worry about it.
… "I'm flying … "
… "I won't grow up … I don't wanna go to school …"
… Wolfe reported that Rigby's played the Neverland character about 3,000 times (since 1990).
… Good Grief.
… Too bad Michael Jackson's not around to see her on the tour. He thought he was Peter Pan.
… It was the child in him.
… OBSERVED. Co-anchor Lester Holt pretty much lets Wolfe do what she wants on Sundays, her regular day of hosting. She does most of the talking and the stunt work. Holt seems to settle back and put up with it.
… It's always: What's she up to next?
"Four and a half hours later we had arrived in Kuwait," said NBC's Richard Engel, in his report about the convoy of American troops pulling out of Iraq.
… What's this we? Are you one of the soldiers?
… I guess that's part of "owning" the story, making it yours, participating in historical events.
… He, as usual, delivered his news piece in a dramatic fashion.
… Martha Raddatz was also there and did her report for ABC.
… We were reminded once again by ABC World News weekend anchor David Muir that Raddatz has traveled to Iraq 21 times over the years and therefore knows more about the story than practically anyone in history.
"At the end of every noodle, there's a smile," says an overly cute and annoying magazine ad for Campbell's Soup, showing a young, smiling boy with a a noodle dangling from the gap in his two front teeth.
… His parents should tell the brat to stop playing with his food.
The new (2012) FIAT 500 ads say it's available at a FIAT "studio."
… A "studio." What, is it a work of art or something? Whatever happened to calling it a car dealership?
… Quit making it sound highfalutin and come down to earth about it, for crissakes.
THREAT. If I see another picture of Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters) with his hair standing up, flopping down or in any other state of disarray (intentionally photographed to capture his intensity) and grimacing while playing his guitar I think I'll puke.
… (He'll be one of the acts slated for the Bamboozle Festival in May in Asbury Park, N.J.)
QUESTION. Will Christiane Amanpour's nightly news show on CNN International be seen in the U.S.? I hope so. Make that happen.
… Last week it was announced that she would no longer be anchoring ABC's This Week program on Sundays.
… Instead she's been given the role of "global affairs anchor" and will be doing some prime-time specials for ABC.
… So she'll be working for both networks.
… Not sure how that will come about but it's good that she's not disappearing into thin air.
…OPINION. The fact that she was taken off the Sunday program is, to me, not a reflection of the job she did hosting the show.
… The question is: Who put her there? That's where the blame lies.
… The powers that be changed the concept of the show from inside the Beltway to a more international flavor to match her area of expertise but that was an ill-fated move.
… Who thought that was a good idea and that it would still compete with the other Sunday morning talk shows?
George Romney was on Fox News Sunday for his "first Sunday show interview in almost two years," announced anchor/host Chris Wallace.
… The Republican presidential candidate didn't dress up for the occasion: Blue jeans with dress shoes, a blazer, an open-collared, striped, buttoned-down shirt with no tie.
… Looked like they caught him at a hotel [in South Carolina]; the "set" had that on-location feel.
… The man's very eager to be president; he's hungry for it; he's salivating.
… Why?
… People say he's been running for president for eight years.
… He talks so fast he can barely keep up with himself.
… He's often seems to stutter …"I, I, I …" in rapid succession when beginning a sentence, racing to get a word in edgewise.
… He talks more about the rich and the middle class than he does about the poor.
… WALLACE'S GRILLING GOT PERSONAL: When the host said people say he's "robotic and buttoned up" (today he was buttoned down) Romney said he was an "emotional guy."
… "I have very strong feelings about this country," he emphasized.
… "Were you and your wife (Ann) sweethearts, partners or best friends?" Wallace prodded.
… What kind of a question is that?
… Romney said his wife was his soul mate.
… He said his wife had been through a lot: a diagnosis of MS plus she has had breast cancer.
… Wallace, referring to a report from a while back, asked, "You both [Romney and wife] cried?" when she was given her diagnosis. Romney said they did.
… Ann Romney worried about how her husband would get along, ("the cooking," he mentioned) since she wouldn't be able to do all the things she normally does.
… He told the missus not to worry. "I like cold cereal and peanut butter sandwiches," he replied reassuredly.
… "We can suffer hardships as long as we have people around us," he thoughtfully told her.
… "I'm happy in life as long as I have my soul mate with me," he affirmed.
… I think he came off as a very human being.
… PRYING. It's too bad the press is allowed to so aggressively intrude into the lives of public figures.
… Let's see the tables turn once in a while. Why not ask Wallace what he said to his wife last night before they went to beddy-bye.
… Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, took her annual trip home to California for the holidays. Owner Sally put her in a soft travel carrier and stuffed it under the seat in front of her. She gave the pooch a tranquilizer to relax and Sally reports that she slept most of the trip.
IN THE NEWS. The FCC is expected to pass regulations requiring broadcasters, cable and satellite systems to turn down the volume and stop blasting nagging TV ads at us viewers. (Goes into effect next year)
… "Commercials must have the same average volume as the programs they accompany," said chairman Julius Genachowski.
… Good. The people have spoken. Genachowski said that thousands of viewers have complained about the intrusion and "we are going to do something about it.
… That guy's a man of action.
… That's telling 'em. I'm tired of being sonically ejected out of my Barcalounger every time some dumb TV station decides to sell Verizon FIOS.
…UH… Tired of Being Alone - Al Greene, on the great Hi Records label, about 1971.

rocci.fisch@gmail.com

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