CHER WASN'T DRESSED UP

1. . . . For the Super Bowl. I thought she was desperate for something to wear and sent out a signal. All the designers were scrambling to offer up. But she showed up in faded blue jeans and a glisteny top thing. Pretty basic. Seemed pulled out of a rock 'n' roll closet.
2. . . . She did a pretty good version of the anthem. Her voice is really deep now. And that repeated line thing at the end of the song was nice, I thought. (Tom Shales didn't.)
3. . . . And did she sing live or was it lip-synched? Couldn't tell.
4. Somewhere somebody said Clinton requested a screening copy of the new movie, Affliction, with Nick Nolte. He plays an abusive, alcoholic father who's real mean.
5. HAIR NEWS:
   1. News7's morning anchor, Mary Jo Walsh, got her hair cut.
   2. Dan Rather got his ears lowered last week. It looked like he got a #9 special from the barber shop.
   3. CBS White House correspondent Scott Pelley got his hair cut last week too.
   4. Alan Dershowitz got his long hair cut off. Looks more mainstream now, TV-friendly.
   5. Howie Long's haircut's a bit severe.
6. . . . Maybe they're all getting ready for Monica's testimony, except Howie.
7. That doesn't sound like Eddie Murphy's voice on The P.J.'s main character, the building super. Much deeper and gruff. Coulda fooled me.
8. Can we do without ever seeing Savion Glover stomp to anything else? He "tap danced" to and with Stevie Wonder on yesterday's half-time show. THIS TOO: Get better posture. Thank you.
9. NICE TOUCH. The typeface used on the New York Times Sunday Magazine cover was done in the same style as the Godfather movie used. For its article on John Gotti Jr. Looked nice. Oh, and a gavone is a lowlife.
10. QUESTION: Is Tweety Bird a male or a female?
11. Now there's Borders.com, I guess, because Barnes and Noble's doing it. Little late?
12. NEW THING: Billboarding promos with commercials. That's what Fox is doing for tonight's TV Guide Awards. They're saying, "Brought to you by Excedrin" already – before the show's even on.
13. Nothing has its own title anymore without some commercial product tacked on: The Progressive Auto Insurance Super Bowl Half-Time Show.
14. . . . Even authors are doing it: Tom Clancy's Netforce.
15. Richard Cohen wrote his last Critic At Large column for The Washington Post Magazine yesterday. He says he's just run out of ideas. Happens.
16. The ad for box office hit Varsity Blues shows young star James Van Der Beek with a bunch of young friends sitting on a pickup truck, but no Jon Voight, who's equal-billed and plays the coach. Where's he? Too old to be seen?
17. . . . We're all getting old.
18. E.T. was cheap-looking yesterday.
19. "You gnawin' that chicken right down to the bone," said Majic 102.3 deejay Sonny Taylor to one of the girls partying with the old school over at the Classics nightclub outside D.C. this past Saturday. It's rockin' over there. Let's go.
20. Partisan, bipartisan. What's better?
21. Everybody's talking about looking right into Monica's eyes and hearing her talk – sort of up close and personal.
22. Now they have Johnny Blue portable out-houses. Is Johnny On The Spot still in business? Ha Ha Ha.
23. JUST WHAT I WANT TO SEE . . . Helena Bonham Carter acting like she's got Lou Gehrig's disease in that Theory of Flight movie.
24. Personal trainer Radu Teodorescu's business's called Radu Physical Culture Studio. Culture?
25. . . . More like cult.
26. QUESTION: Isn't Lifesavers an American thing? Then why are their commercials always sung in that Caribbean island accent?
27. DEPRESSING: Seeing Kosovo bodies.
28. One of the films featured at Sundance was Sex: The Anabel Chong Story. She supposedly had sex with 251 men in 10 hours. They say it's about female empowerment.
29. . . . Why didn't she stop at 250? Why one more, unless it was to break a previous record?
30. RUSHMORE: Weird, funny, low-budgety movie out now about young student Max Fischer at the distinguished academy. He's in a million extra-curricular activities but lousy at schoolwork. Has crush on first grade teacher but so does town tycoon Bill Murray. Murray up for Academy Award for low-key, quirky performance. The kid's great. (Jason Schwartzman) Plays the nerd role well.
31. MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE: It tries, but doesn't make it. Silly story not for the 90s. Corn pone.
32. Does weekend Today newsreader duty belong now to Soledad O'Brien at MSNBC? What happened to Susan Campos? (They give everything to one person over there.)
33. The vandals stole the tail off the whale in La Jolla, California.
34. UPCOMING: The Rhythm & Blues Foundation 1999 Pioneer Awards, February 25 in Culver City, California. (Isn't that where all the Munchkins debauched?) The trailblazers are honored and the show's traditionally a great one, but usually dwarfed by the Grammys. Smokey Robinson's the master of ceremonies. More later . . .
35. MARK YOUR CALENDAR. They say if you do it on April 9, the baby's most likely to be born on the millennium. It's a Friday though, which usually isn't date night.
36. UH ... Ladies Night – Kool & The Gang on De-Lite, from 1979.

rocci@roccifisch.com

Archives