$5 MILLION FOR LESS THAN A MINUTE'S WORK

1. . . . That's what Mike Tyson got last night for his knockout punch to Clifford Etienne 49 seconds into the fight. Associated Press said Tyson showed renewed determination in the ring and that maybe his new face tattoo gave it to him. It's a Maori-style warrior tattoo that's on his left side and he may be getting the right side done too.
2. . . . And good ole Tanya Harding lost her first boxing match in her pro debut to Samantha Browning. They say the crowd was howling wild and the fight was more wrestling than boxing.
3. LEAVE. Tony Blair's a dead man in his home country for siding with Bush on Iraq. He oughta just come over here and become a U.S. citizen. Some say he and Bush look cute together.
4. Joe Millionaire winner Zora Andrich's ex-boyfriend Tony Ercolano says she still loves him and that she'd be a perfect wife . "I would love to have children with her. She's a breeder," he said.
5. I hope the owners show up to claim Sparky, the dog that was trapped on floating ice in a New Jersey river last weekand. The video was all over the place showing the dog being lassoed to safety in a boat by animal rescue workers.
6. This year's not leap.
7. Robert Blake finally got his wish and was interviewed by Barbara Walters in prison last Monday. It'll be on ABC's 20/20 Wednesday. When Babs asks him, "Did you kill your wife?" they put in a shot of Blake with a wild look in his face. At times he looks like a mad man.
8. After 27 years with NBC, Jane Pauley's calling it quits. Not sure what she's gonna do; she's been working on a book. A co-worker of mine was sorry to see her on Dateline last week being dragged into the tabloid muck by introducing a segment on Michael Jackson Unmasked. He thought she was above that. (She does look tired lately. End of the run-ish.)
9. . . . "News" has changed.
10. Legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin looked like one of those Saturday Night Live Sprockets characters (Dieter) on CNN the other day with his black turtleneck on instead of a lawyer-looking suit.
11. Yoko Ono just turned 70. (And she still can't sing.)
12. Was Fox's The Michael Jackson Interview: The Footage You Were Never Meant To See sort of like a State of the Union Republican Response to the original interview ABC aired?
13. . . . Actually, if you can believe Fox, it put Jackson in a much better light and did show examples of how British interviewer Martin Bashir manipulated the interview for his program.
14. . . . TOO MUCH MONKEY BUSINESS? Bubbles, Michael Jackson's chimp, used to go to the bathroom by using the toilet and then flushed it when he was done. He also helped dust Jackson's bedroom and ate at the table using silverware. "He was very polite," said Michael.
15. INTERESTING. The Grammys tonight will be the first awards show to be offered in high-def , widescreen format and Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound (6 channels of audio). But not all areas of the country can get it. Tonight's show has been called the most complex sound production in live TV. More than 1,000 microphones will be used.
16. The lineup for this year's Ozzfest summer hard rock tour (Korn, Marilyn Manson, Chevelle, more) was announced at the family's home in Beverly Hills last week. Someone asked Ozzy if he was still drinking and he said, according to The New York Times, "I'll tell you what my drinking problem is. I've only got one mouth." Ha Ha Ha.
17. REAL CHICK FLICK. How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. It's been popular and funny but it's totally inane and dumb. It's hard to watch Matthew McConaughey act so jerk-ish in the part he plays. Kate Hudson is good but her hair looks like straw. She's got mother Goldie's mouth and smile.
18. Sounds like Ted Turner's Gods and Generals is gonna flop. They say the movie's full of speechifying rather than dialogue. Besides, it's almost 4 hours long.
19. American Idol's Simon Cowell's in trouble for telling one of the female contestants, Vanessa Olivarez, that she was good but could stand to lose a few pounds. Paula Abdul got mad and threw up her hands. The girl won that night anyway. "I know I have a big butt,," she said, "but it worked for J. Lo."
20. In The Paw Street Journal, a Friendship Hospital for Animals publication, in a blurb about pet dreams, they say if you place food by a sleeping dog's nose, he may start chewing.
21. Steven Spielberg's on the cover of the AARP magazine and is part of an article called "The Fearless 50: America's Great Innovators." The mag's getting thicker and slicker.
22. NOW GONE. Britches of Georgetown. It started out as a tiny store in 1967 and over the years expanded to practically every mall in the Washington, D.C. area. They even had a store in Atlanta. Good quality clothing. But it's come to an end. They were losing money and filed for bankruptcy. Some people had worked there for 35 years.
23. GOOD PERFORMANCE. Noah Taylor as a young Adolph Hitler in Max, a speculative movie about the future fuhrer's early life in Germany. He's interested in art and draws and is befriended by a Jewish art dealer named Max played by John Cusack who is also one of the film's producers. Hitler's in the army, poor, frustrated with his art and has a strong belief in politics which he takes to small groups of people to give speeches full of rage. Something to see.
24. Colin Firth doesn't pronounce his first name the way Colin Powell does.
25. Mr. High Falutin says he hates Kevin Spacey because he seems pretentious and supercilious. "He's got that smirk on his face all the time."
26. A telemarketer called my mother and asked if she'd participate in a TV survey. She told him what she thought: "It stinks. It's all trash."
27. Try saying Chris Cuomo fast three times. (He interviewed Christine Ugly-Haira - I mean Aguilera - the other night on 20/20.)
28. Dick Gephardt's running for president now. Have we ever had a carrot top in the White House?
29. Would someone tell CNN anchor Kyra Phillips to drop her voice at the end of a sentence when she says, "First, this News Alert." Nobody else says it that way.
30. DESERVING. Singer/songwriter Smokey Robinson will receive a National Medal of Arts award at the White House on March 7. He'll be saluted for all those songs and great lyrics he wrote for himself and his group, The Miracles, and many, many other Motown groups
31. MORE RATS. A new Willard movie is coming March 14. 550 of the scurrying vermin appear.
32. How many hairstyles has Arsenio Hall had?
33. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, went on a business trip with owner Sally down south to Charleston and Morehead City, North Carolina. Sally drove down and back and said the dog laid in the back seat and "did not make a peep." She travels well.
34. My Big Fat Greek Life premieres Monday night on CBS. Hope it's good and that TV doesn't kill it. Most of the movie cast returns except for the lead guy John Corbett. Steven Eckholdt will play the male lead. He's been on some short-lived TV series and had a regular gig on L.A. Law. In real life he's married to a Greek girl.
35. Now Thomasville furniture is selling Humphrey Bogart-inspired furniture. Think the actor ever thought he'd end up a foot stool?
36. UH . . . Foot Stompin' - The Flares, on Felsted from 1961.

rocci@roccifisch.com

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