HERE WE GO AGAIN

1. . . . They're talking about appointing an independent counsel to look into the pardons. How much is that gonna cost to figure out if anyone was quid pro quo-ing?
2. TOO TIGHT. That leather bomber jacket Bush had on up in Camp David while he was squiring around Tony Blair. Looked like he had it from high school.
3. Tony Blair looks like Dilly Dally from The Howdy Doody Show.
4. TIRED OF . . . Sting singing Desert Rose on that What Do Rock Stars Dream Of? commercial for the Jaquar S-Type. And is he singing in a foreign language. I can't understand what he's saying.
5. I won't watch Survivor anymore because they killed a pig. (Actually wild boar)
6. "People make the music come together ..." OOPS: I mean "Music makes the people come together." Sorry Madonna.
7. A friend of mine was asked directions four times in one day. Noboby knows where anything is in Washington, D.C. He said to himself, "What do I look like, a signpost?"
8. At the Grammys, Joni Mitchell left off one Bye of 'N Sync's Bye Bye Bye-nominated song while announcing it.
9. Also at the Grammys, what was up with Macy Gray's hair?
10. ITEM: Daily Variety announced last month that Britain's Pathe Pictures has scheduled shooting for a $7 million comedy about an 11 year-old boy's ability to "break wind." His skill "leads him to fame and then death row before it helps him to become an astronaut." It's called Thunderpants. Okay, I've heard it all now.
11. Why does Toni Braxton always have to be so scantily clad? She gives Jennifer Lopez a run for her money.
12. FYI: A way to remember how to spell actress Judy Dench's last name is that it's spelled like stench. (No sch) Ha Ha Ha.
13. They're selling Zim's Crack Creme on TV. For addicts?
14. FBI Director Louis Freeh doesn't have any sideburns. Looks like he shaves way up past where they'd be. Is that a mistake?
15. The National Enquirer reports there's a web site that rates public rest rooms nationwide. Besttoilets.com's motto is, "The place to go before you have to."
16. Looks like Regis has foregone that dark suit/matching shirt and tie ensemble on Millionaire. The other night he actually had on a less dark suit with a blue shirt and a conservative maroon and gray striped tie. That's more like it. The other stuff was too forced.
17. What's happening to Dharma's hair? It can't decide what it's gonna be it, seems.
18. AND BY THE WAY . . . An I Love Lucy she ain't.
19. BACK TO LOCAL. ABC's Andrea McCarren is-at Channel 7. She did an excellent hidden camera report the other night on security-or lack of it-in the campus dorms of Gallaudet and Georgetown.
20. What kind of bed can you buy for $99? Ikea's got one. Bet that's long-lasting.
21. Hillary Clinton talks about "my Senate career." She's working on a short one.
22. EAGERLY AWAITED. Life With Judy Garland: Me and My Shadows, on ABC Sunday and Monday at 9. Glowing reviews. The recreated Wizard of Oz scenes look remarkably like the original in the preview they've been showing.
23. MISTAKEN. A friend of mine, when hearing the title of Eminem's album, The Marshall Mathers LP, thought they were talking about the Beaver, Jerry Mathers.
24. Johnny Cash is recuperating. Another friend of mine didn't think he was still alive. Thought he died years ago.
25. . . . I've got dumb friends.
26. I'd like to have an AFLAC duck.
27. If I see or hear anything more about Shirley Jones and Marty Ingels' separations, I'll bash in the nearest TV set. They're to be on that Mars/Venus show-the one that ditched Cybill Shepard. And the new hosts are run-of-the-mill, uninteresting chatters.
28. Those "tough guys" playing cards talking about 10-10-220 are playing Fish, not poker.
29. TIRED PICTURE: A naked Richard Hatch squatting somewhere on that Survivor island. He looks like he's on the commode.
30. Which couple pairing do you like best: Brit Prime Minister Tony Blair with Bill Clinton or with George Bush?
31. That Ashleigh (forget last name) MSNBC anchor person had one of those cute fur collars on her suit top on Friday. She's the one who wears those trendy plastic glasses. Also, never stops talking. (That's a trait everybody has on cable news.)
32. Weekend Today's David Bloom said, "No. Not my girls," in response to co-anchor Soldedad O' Brien's plug for an upcoming feature on how to deal with kids and piercings and tattoos. He's a good dad. Wholesome values.
33. COMING: Something Like This ... The Bob Newhart Anthology, next month. The 2 CD compilation documents his stand-up comedy career with selections from seven of his classic albums. Should be fun.
34. Elton John looked like he was dressed in a clown suit on the Grammys.
35. BACK/TOURING. Boy George is. This time as a club DJ. Doing the mix. On vinyl. He was at D.C.'s Nation club last Friday. Before that he was on washingtonpost.com's Live Online program taking questions from the viewers a la Real Audio. Pleasant, funny chap. His latest album, Essential Mix, features his turntable skills.
36. Jazz singer Nnenna Freelon looks like a prettier Oprah Winfrey.
37. Someone said that the Naked Chef had Trainspotting hair. He is British.
38. GET IT RIGHT. The filmmaking Coen brothers don't spell their name Cohen.
39. Serta mattresses are putting sheep out of the sleep business. Those commercials are funny.
40. So are we gonna see Timothy McVeigh die on TV? Some will.
41. Now MTV"s Carson Daly's got a milk mustache. He's everywhere.
42. BARREL SCRAPING. Of all the media to call, Clinton chose Geraldo.
43. UH . . . Why Did I Choose You-Barbra Streisand on Columbia. From her 1965 My Name Is Barbra album.

rocci@roccifisch.com

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