January 30, 2012

 

“THE ‘PIZZA MAN’ KNOWS ABOUT THE ‘SAUSAGE GRINDER.’”

  1. . . . So said Jake Tapper at the top of ABC’s This Week program Sunday (George Stephanopoulos was on a “well-deserved day off” or something, said Tapper), referring to remarks that former Republican presidential contender Herman Cain said in West Palm Beach, Fla., Saturday night in his endorsement of Newt Gingrich, three days before the Florida primary.
  2. . . . “I hereby officially and enthusiastically (heavily and satisfyingly emphasized) endorse Newt Gingrich for president of the United States,” said Cain in his yellow tie (he likes those yellow and yellow-ish ties).
  3. . . . Cain went on to say, “ Speaker Gingrich is...going through this ‘sausage grinder.’ I know what the sausage grinder is all about. I know that he’s going through the sausage grinder because he cares about the future of the United States of America.”
  4. . . . (Where’s the pushcart? Tell those street vendors to make me a kielbasa grinder with spicy mustard on a nice steamed roll.)
  5. . . . I guess Cain used that euphemism to classify what he went through in the court of public opinion during his campaign’s demise due to allegations of sexual impropriety.
  6. . . . Ravenous wolves went after him and took him down.
  7. . . . But remember when he said this back in September? “I would bring a sense of humor to the White House because America’s too uptight.”
  8. . . . The man is funny.
  9. QUICK. What “number” Super Bowl is the one coming up on Sunday (NBC)?
  10. . . . It’s XLVI.
  11. . . . Does that tell you anything? Can you figure out Roman numerals?
  12. . . . 46, that’s what it is.
  13. . . . Come on, it’s MMXII now. Can we use modern numbers?
  14. TOUCHING. The friendship between Gabby Giffords (D-Arizona) and fellow Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-Florida).
  15. . . . Schultz has stood by Giffords every step of the way and has often been the one who has given updates about her condition ever since the assassination attempt in Tucson last January.
  16. . . . On Wednesday Schultz accompanied Giffords to the House of Representatives to submit her resignation, which said, in part, that she needs to devote all of her time to her continuing recovery before she can serve again in an elected office.
  17. . . . They stood together in the well of the House. Schultz read the letter (fighting back tears) and then walked with Giffords up to the rostrum to deliver it to Speaker John Boehner.
  18. . . . He cried. (You knew that was gonna happen.)
  19. . . . “There wasn’t a dry eye in the ‘House.’” Many people described it as such. Brian Williams said so on NBC’s Nightly News.
  20. . . . Sounds trite but it was true. Quite an emotional day.
  21. CARPET BOMBING. That’s what Newt Gingrich has been accusing Mitt Romney of, meaning that Romney is attacking and flooding the airwaves with negative campaign ads (which ones aren’t?) about his opponent, citing his past record in Congress and business.
  22. . . . Carpet bombing, according to Merriam-Webster, means “to drop bombs so as to cause uniform devastation (as in WWI or to bombard repeatedly (as in advertising).”
  23. . . . As in ‘misleading advertising,’ thank you very much.
  24. . . . “He [Romney] has a basic policy of carpet bombing his opponent,” said the former Speaker of the House on Fox News Sunday, ahead of the Florida primary.
  25. . . . And Chuck Todd of NBC said the same thing on Sunday’s Nightly News: that Romney has carpet bombed the state, and Todd knows what he’s talking about since he is the network’s political director, chief White House correspondent and anchor of his own show on MSNBC (The Daily Rundown).
  26. . . . (What else could he be?).
  27. . . . MADE ME THINK OF . . .
  28. . . . You Dropped a Bomb on Me-The Gap Band, on Total Experience Records, 1982.
  29. . . . Carpet Man-The Fifth Dimension, on Soul City Records, 1968.
  30. . . . Magic Carpet Ride-Steppenwolf, on ABC Dunhill Records, 1968.
  31. OVERSANG. That’s what Christina Aguilera did at soul/jazz/R&B singer Etta James’s funeral on Saturday at the City of Refuge Church in Gardena, outside Los Angeles.
  32. . . . “At Last” was the selection, James’s signature song, which Aquilera had to convert into a wrenching, emotional, dramatic spectacle, contorting on the stage as if she were giving birth.
  33. . . . She always oversings, thinks she has to knock it out of the park every time she takes a mike (microphone) in hand.
  34. . . . What, did she think she was on “The Voice”?
  35. . . . She showboated.
  36. . . . Her emoting and high volume singing could wake up the dead.
  37. . . . It’s a wonder poor Etta didn’t stand up in her coffin.
  38. . . . Barack Obama would have been better than Aguilera; he’s a good, low-key singer and proved it a week or so ago by singing the opening bar of Al Green’s Let’s Stay Together (Hi Records, 1971) at a fund-raiser in Harlem.
  39. . . . He sounded great and I think Etta would have liked it more.
  40. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, continues to dominate the household, reports owner Sally. She sits on her throne all day, which is on the couch in the front bedroom, and ensures that her roommates, cat Bucky and cockatoo Gidget, don’t get out of hand.
  41. ADVICE TO BRAD PITT: Go see a barber.
  42. “SANITORIUM.” That’s what a friend of mine calls Mr. Santorum, one of the Republican presidential candidates, thinking that’s where-a sanitarium-he belongs.
  43. CINDERELLA MOMENT. Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard lost her shoe as she and opposition leader Tony Abbott were hustled away from a restaurant in Canberra by security officers during a rowdy fracas by aboriginal-rights protesters on Australia Day who pounded on the windows, yelling and pointing accusatory fingers at the government officials.
  44. . . . It was a boisterous crowd.
  45. . . . Gillard and Abbot ran for their lives (escorted by riot police) because things were rapidly getting out of hand.
  46. . . . Gillard slipped and fell almost to the ground during her exit.
  47. . . . There she was with one shoe on (blue “Midas” low-rise wedge), according to the Sunday Morning Herald) and one shoe off as she was helped down the steps by her bodyguard, fleeing to a car, just like Cinderella did when she was in a rush to leave the ball and lost one of her glass slippers along the way as the clock was striking twelve.
  48. . . . She left the scene without it.
  49. . . . But one of the activists from the Aboriginal Tent Embassy grabbed her size eight (‘slipper’) in the melee.
  50. . . . “Gingerella, come get your shoe,” yelled a protester.
  51. . . . They held the shoe and talked about selling it on Facebook or eBay and made jokes about it.
  52. . . . Commentators called it all, “shoegate.”
  53. . . . But in the end, the indigenous leaders wound up returning the shoe to a security guard at Parliament House.
  54. . . . Later at the official residence Gillard said that the only thing that angered her was that it disrupted a “wonderful event for great people” (presentation of the National Emergency Medals) and that she was “made of pretty tough stuff and the police did a great job.”
  55. . . . Made me think of Walk a Mile in My Shoes by Joe South, on Capitol Records, 1970.
  56. EXPECTATION. “Ellen is a fantastic entertainer. Phil is a great therapist. Oz is a great doctor, (but) there’s no one best friend in daytime. Hopefully Katie [Couric] can fill that void.”
  57. . . . Them’s Jeff Zucker’s words, former NBC chief and now producer of “Katie,” a new talk show which comes around in September.
  58. . . . I guess it’ll be different.
  59. . . . That’s what they all say.
  60. . . . High hopes.
  61. . . . High-minded.
  62. . . . Highfalutin.
  63. . . . Look at Anderson Cooper’s talk show. It’s just like everything else on the air in “daytime.” How different did that turn out to be?
  64. . . . “There’s a big appetite for smart conversation, with some kind of depth and perspective and intelligence,” said Couric, while in Miami Beach last week at a syndicated TV programmers’ convention.
  65. . . . How many times have we heard that?
  66. . . . Celebrities are invited, reported USA Today, “but only if George Clooney wanted to come on and talk about his work in Darfur or Lady Gaga addresses her efforts to fight bullying,” Couric explained.
  67. . . . Good God, spare me.
  68. DAVOS. Where in the hell is that?
  69. . . . Oh, it’s in Switzerland, sorry for my geographical ignorance.
  70. . . . Mountain resort.
  71. . . . All this past week we’ve seen a lot of news coverage coming out of there, especially with the business shows.
  72. . . . The place looked like a ski-lover’s dream, with snow-covered evergreens and slopes all around.
  73. . . . It was very picturesque.
  74. . . . Was it the Olympics?
  75. . . . Nah, it’s the World Economic Forum.
  76. . . . Zzzz.
  77. . . . Many of the TV anchors and hosts were doing their programs outside.
  78. . . . It made me do a doubletake.
  79. . . . Wasn’t it too cold?
  80. . . . Were they really out in the elements?
  81. . . . I guess so. You could see their breath when they talked.
  82. . . . On her Wall Street Journal Report show Maria Bartiromo had on heavy clothes and gloves and her guest had on a hat, a scarf and a winter coat.
  83. . . . I guess the producers wanted to give viewers a true sense of where they were instead of having all of their anchor talent broadcasting from inside a warm and cozy studio.
  84. . . . They wanted their coverage to be authentic.
  85. . . . ANOTHER ANGLE TO THE STORY. Down on the ground members of a Ukrainian feminine nudity group (FEMEN) were climbing fences and demonstrating toplessly-yes, they were all half-naked-against the summit, holding up signs that said things like ‘Gangsters Party in Davos’ and ‘Poor Because of You.’
  86. . . . Many were arrested and taken away kicking and screaming.
  87. . . . The temperature was around freezing.
  88. . . . UH . . . “You know my temperature’s risin’, the jukebox’s blowin’ a fuse..."-Roll Over Beethoven-Chuck Berry, on Chess Records, 1956.


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