TOO HOT TOO SOON

1. . . . It�s too much in the 90s and the 100s, triple digits. Code Orange alerts. Forecasters expect the high temps throughout the whole summer. Geesh, it was just spring the last time I looked. It�s only been officially summer (June 21) for a week or so. What�s with the excessive heat?
2. . . . There�s not enough in-between: We jump from winter "snowpocalypse and snowmaggedon" right into the blazing heat of the summer. Me, I need some adjustment time. Gimme a Break!
3. . . . I�ve had it. I�m moving to Alaska where the air is refreshing and they don�t go around sweating all the time - unless you�re being chased by a moose. Ask Sarah Palin about it.
4. . . . So the National Enquirer�s got another "exposed politician" story. This time it�s Al Gore (who was in Portland, Ore. , for a speech in October of 2006) and a massage therapist (Molly Hagerty) who says the former vice president sexually attacked her, and she says she�s got the goods to prove it.
5. . . . She�s keeping the stained pants she was wearing during the alleged encounter with the former VP in a bank safe deposit box, of all places. They supposedly have DNA evidence (ahem) on them. (Anybody remember Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky and the "stained blue dress"?
6. . . . Hagerty described Gore as a "crazed sex poodle" and said she was afraid to leave the hotel room for fear of being accosted by his security detail.
7. . . . Poodle, huh? I could think of other kinds of dogs that are more threatening than that breed.
8. . . . Will Gore go down? Never underestimate the National Enquirer.
9. JOAN RIVERS: A PIECE OF WORK. Documentary movie out now about the 77-year-old comedian who�s seen it all and is still out there hawking her goods to fill up her appointment book; an empty calendar is a horror to her and means no work. The film is a revealing look at Joan Rosenberg (Joan Alexandra Molinsky originally) and follows her from her early Greenwich Village standup comedy days to becoming the main fill-in for Johnny Carson; to getting her own late-night show on Fox and the subsequent rejection of her by Carson; the suicide of her husband, Edgar Rosenberg; her "comeback" and eventually signing onto and winning Donald Trump�s Celebrity Apprentice reality show.
10. . . . The doc shows her in her daily life: business appointments and meetings with her staff and some performances but it�s more behind-the-scenes.
11. . . . It�s a blunt look at her life and the business she�s in; it doesn�t paint a pretty picture, especially when you see her before she paints on all her makeup.
12. . . . Worth seeing.
13. JUST ASKING. Who, for one minute, believes that Larry King (real name: Lawrence Harvey Zeiger) is not being eased out of CNN (his current contract expires in June, 2011)? He said last Tuesday night that he was going to step down from his show in September in order to spend more time with his wife (didn�t they just file for divorce?) and kids but that he�d be back for specials on major national and international stories.
14. . . . Yeah, right.
15. . . . He�s been the victim of low prime-time ratings; his audience declined 43% compared to last year�s.
16. . . . He announced the news with comedian Bill Maher sitting across the desk from him, his chosen guest for the night and a sympathetic ear.
17. . . . King said the negotiated exit deal with CNN was all well and good and that he was okay with it.
18. . . . Seemed phony to me, didn�t ring true.
19. Meredith Vieira wore big plastic-framed glasses for much of the Today show last Tuesday. She looked like Ashleigh Banfield (former Court/truTV reporter/anchor and now with ABC), for crissakes. Not a good idea. Seemed like she was trying to be intentionally trendy, if you ask me.
20. . . . Nobody wears glasses like Banfield. It�s her signature look and she makes every pair her own. She wears them sincerely.
21. NOTICED. A TV ad for Nite Talk, a personals chat line featuring a young sexpot girl who�s all comfy in a living room, sitting on pillows with a fireplace going on in the background, that airs while News4 Washington is on (they now start their news broadcasts at 4:30 a.m. - is that early enough for you?).
22. . . . Actually, this is believable. It�s still dark outside and night owls are prowling around and people still have sex on the mind. Partiers may not have gone to sleep yet from the night before (I�m remembering my halcyon days of gallivanting at all hours), so I�m sure the station feels there�s an audience out there for people seeking partner pleasure.
23. . . . But it does seem a bit inappropriate to see such a suggestive ad within a news program�s time block, especially after the anchors have read some serious news story about a missing teen or something.
24. . . . Somebody oughta ask local anchors Joe Krebbs and Eun Yang how they feel about it. Maybe they can do a newsmaker interview with the sexpot and drum up business.
25. Last week we saw a video from Animal Planet�s "Michael Jackson and Bubbles: The Untold Story," which showed wacky sister La Toya visiting her brother�s 27-year-old pet chimp (Bubbles) who is now in a sanctuary in Florida.
26. . . . She speaks into his cage and says she can tell Bubbles remembers her and she keeps repeating his name and cries.
27. . . . Actually, it�s a bit touching.
28. . . . But then again, it�s just one more unfinished thing that Michael Jackson left in his wake - a bunch of unfinished business - from his kids to the Neverland Ranch to unfulfilled concerts. Now it�s his pet chimp. A shame.
29. Matt Lauer interviewed Michael Hastings, the guy who wrote the Rolling Stone article about Gen. Stanley McChrystal and brought him down by revealing all the anti-Obama talk that went on about the president and his Afghan war policies, live from Kabul.
30. . . . "Thank you for your time Michael. Be safe," said Lauer when he was finishing up the interview.
31. . . . "Be safe"? What, does every TV news anchor have to make sure every guest they ever have on their shows has a safe journey through life? Are they St. Christopher or something?
32. . . . Reminded me of when Barbara Walters advised Jimmy Carter at the end of an interview with the president-elect at the time: "Be wise with us, governor, be good with us."
33. . . . Good God almighty. I�ve heard it all.
34. . . . Quit trying to get personal with interview subjects. Not everyone wants you in their life just because you�re on TV.
35. Cindy Lauper looked like Johnny Depp, the Mad Hatter, in Alice in Wonderland last week on Good Morning America. Her orange hair peeking out of her hat and reminded me of the daffy Depp in the recent movie
36. . . . As a matter of fact, Queen Elizabeth, in New York visiting the U.N. and the World Trade Center site this week, looked like the Mad Hatter too, with her brimmed chapeau and minus the orange hair.
37. . . . Lauper has a new album out now of blues songs, "Memphis Blues." Her current tour will feature mainly songs from the new CD with only a few of her greatest hits.
38. . . . "For years I�ve been doing best-of. I�m not doing best-of anymore. Yes, I�ll be doing a few of my own songs - you know, the classics. But this isn�t a retrospective of my work."
39. . . . Okay, so you�ve got a new album out and it�s really changed you and you�re not going back to yesteryear; you�re asserting yourself and living for yourself and not the public anymore. You�re nobody�s lackey, we get it.
40. SOMEBODY DOESN�T LIKE JADA. USA Today, in a TV listing for Jada Pinkett Smith�s (Will Smith�s wife and mother of Jaden and Willow) TNT cable show, had this to say about it/her: "HawthoRNe, a ludicrously overwrought drama built around a dedicated, determined and perpetually seething nurse played by Jada Pinkett Smith, who once again mistakes brittle for commanding ..."
41. . . . Are she and husband Will permanently attached at the hip? They�re together every time you see them. I�m pretty sick of that.
42. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, was being walked by her daily walker Chris. Owner Sally, on an errand, drove by in her HUV, saw them, rolled down the window and yelled "hello." Hanalie just looked up and then continued to walk on - didn�t get all excited, responded ambivalently. Sally thinks the dog doesn�t love her anymore.
43. . . . She�ll like ya the next time she�s hungry.
44. "It�s a slap in the face to women," said Lisa Bloom, a legal analyst for CBS News and daughter of celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred, about the hiring by CNN of Eliot Spitzer, the former governor of New York who got into trouble as a "client" in a high-priced prostitution ring, as one-half of an anchor team (along with Washington Post columnist Kathleen Parker) to replace the Campbell Brown.
45. . . . Do you want to get your news from him?
46. KNIGHT AND DAY. The Tom Cruise/Cameron Diaz action comedy hasn�t done too well at the box office, got pounded by Grownups, Toy Story 3. Figured that.
47. . . . The movie was full of quick-edited action and Diaz was good and played along. But Cruise comes off as a little too all-knowing, a wise a_ _ and he seems to try a little too hard. He plays a part that�s a bit nutty and some may think it parallels his own true-life self.
48. . . . You could miss it and it wouldn�t be anything lost.
49. Harrison Ford married long-time girlfriend Calista Flockhart in his (Wrangler) jeans. According to People magazine other "down-home" details included "a Tuesday afternoon date and a bridesmaid-free ceremony."
50. . . . What, were they barefoot too? Was she wearing flip-flops?
51. . . . Shows you how much they respect the institution of marriage.
52. . . . Condoleezza Rice says her favorite Aretha Franklin tune is Respect. Boy, that�s original. She and Aretha Franklin will be appearing together in Philadelphia on July 27 at a benefit concert for inner city children at the Mann Center.
53. . . . The press release stated: "Ms. Rice will enchant us with selections from Mozart and more and will feature Aretha Franklin on vocals with selections from her new album, "A Woman Falling Out of Love."
54. . . . Who thought of that title? Is that an appropriate one for a 68-year-old woman? Does she still have suitors?
55. FYI: Sarah Palin refers to the mainstream media (MSM) as the "lamestream media." You can tell she likes saying it.
56. What is it with baby doll curls on female anchors? Look at Chris Jansing the other day on MSNBC. A fellow anchor of hers there at the cable news channel, Alex Witt, has the same thing. They look like the Good Witch sisters from The Wizard of Oz, for crissakes.
57. . . . It detracts from their delivering of the news. What business do they think they�re in?
58. . . . UH . . . Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I�m Yours) - Stevie Wonder, on Tamla Records, 1970.

rocci@roccifisch.com

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