March 15, 2005

      HAS THIS BEEN A LONG WINTER OR WHAT?

1. . . . March is one hell of a month to get through, ain't it?
2. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice only did three of the five Sunday morning talk shows last weekend. Surprisingly, Fox News Sunday and CNN's Late Edition were shut out.
3. . . . Last Friday, the network promo for ABC's This Week announced ballplayer Jose Canseco before Condoleezza, referring to who the guests would be on the show. Seems steroids was to be the hot topic before talking to Ms. Rice about international diplomacy. But NBC gave Condi top billing on their promo and mentioned steroids second. So go figure.
4. Does anybody care about the above?
5. Vanessa Marcil of TV's Las Vegas was a guest on Ellen one day last week and cuddled up in her chair with her high-heeled shoes on. She should have taken her shoes off before getting on the furniture. Where was she raised?
6. Mr. Big Stuff had this to say about the anchor transition on The CBS Evening News: "Out with the old; in with the old." True. Bob Schieffer's no spring chicken.
7. It looked like Peter Jennings was eating something right after he signed off from World News Tonight last Tuesday night. They went to a wide shot of the studio set and you could see him spooning or forking up something to his mouth. Maybe he missed lunch.
8. I wonder if The Wizard of Oz is one of Dan Rather's favorite movies. The Cowardly Lion went to see the wizard for courage and that's one word Dan seems to know a lot about.
9. Pandas Mei Xiang (she) and Tian Tian (he) did not successfully mate, according to National Zoo officials in Washington, so Miss Xiang was artificially inseminated. There's videotape of it but no close-ups. The zoo curator said they were concerned about the lack of "synchrony" between the two bears which translated to "alignment" problems - understand what they mean?-- so they opted for the procedure.
10. . . . Earlier in the week, NBC4 morning anchor Barbara Harrison reported that the pandas were ready to mate and co-anchor Joe Krebs had a suggestion for them: "Put a little Barry White on the Victrola." Maybe that would've worked. Many people can testify to that.
11. WARM LEMONADE? Who drinks that? That's what Martha Stewart made when she got home after she got out of prison. How about something stronger?
12. NEW TREND: Upskirting. Whaaat? Katie Couric did a segment on the Today show about the latest chapter in video voyeurism which involves videotaping underneath girls' dresses by using cell phone cameras that might be hidden in shopping or low-slung bags that people carry and brushing up against an unsuspecting victim. Then the culprits put the pix on the Internet. Easy porn. Most people don't even know it's going on. That's a nice new fad.
13. Nicole Richie was asking Paris Hilton on The Simple Life: Interns last week which was the front of your hands and which was the back and got a wondrous look from a woman passenger on the bus the two were riding. Also in the episode, the girls worked at a nursery school and Nicole asked the kids, "Did you poo?" and "Do you pick your nose and put it in your ear?" The kids yelled Noooo!
14. Somebody wrote Gas Hog on a poster in the Metro for Cadillac's STS series car. They're the ones that have that big front grill which is so popular. Cadillac used to be known for big luxury cars but their approach has changed. All those Break Through commercials are youth-oriented and emphasize the fast and the furious instead of the sophisticated automobile that Cadillac used to be.
15. Singer/piano player Peter Cincotti is in the fashion ads for Ermenegildo Zegna. (He's one of the new crop of singers that does the old songs sung in a smooth pop-jazz style a la Norah Jones or Harry Connick Jr.) What happened to Adrien Brody? I thought he was the front man for that company. Maybe he got stuck in a jacket. Ha Ha Ha. (That's his latest film, The Jacket, in which he plays a mental ward patient.)
16. THE WILD PARROTS OF TELEGRAPH HILL. Nice small film by San Francisco filmmaker Judy Irving, about ex-musician Mark Bittner and how he takes care of a flock of wild parrots on Telegraph Hill in that city. You really get to see the birds and it's fascinating. Bittner feeds the birds, nurses the birds and watches the birds. Took over four and a half years to make. Documentary-like and straight forward in its storytelling. Simple.
17. Looks like Andrea Brody is the new News4 weekend sportscaster. I guess she replaced Nicole Zaloumis who didn't have that long a life there. I'm told that Brody is former WJAR-TV/Channel 10 (NBC) anchor in Providence, R.I.
18. THE JANE PAULEY SHOW GOES KAPUT. That's it. Lasted one season.
19. Director Peter Jackson says he wants "to try to get a head being bitten off somewhere in there ...," referring to his next movie, a remake of King Kong which is expected on Dec. 14. Dinosaurs will stalk the island where they find the 24-foot-tall gorilla and the romance between stars Naomi Watts and Adrien Brody will be "swoonier" than the original, says USA Today. Can't wait.
20. The Passion Recut is the new title of Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ movie. Just in time for Easter, I guess. "By softening some of its more wrenching aspects, I hope to make my film and its message of love available to a wider audience," reads a quote from Gibson in the ads for the movie. Word is they've cut down on the gore. A little bit less lashing.
21. Gladys Knight looks good in those ads for the MBNA credit card. She's running with the ball on a football field and falls down at the end of it.
22. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, may be taking a trip to Capitol Hill next week when Congress is out of session. Owner Sally's gonna take her to work one day. That dog goes everywhere.
23. CBS has Spring Break Shark Attack coming up on Sunday, March 20 at 9. Fins are sticking up everywhere in the water and bikini-clad college gals are screaming. The promo for the show ends with a bite chomped out of the CBS eye logo. Clever, funny. It's a thriller about the invasion of a group of killer sharks off the Florida coast as a beach full of college coeds enjoy their spring break.
24. SOMEBODY WHO CAN STAND UP AND BREATHE. That's the job qualification required to work at the Exxon station in my neighborhood, according to one of the two guys leaving who work the graveyard shift. They've got a lot of respect for that place.
25. King Tut is on tour again. Now they say that he probably wasn't murdered but instead had a badly broken leg that got infected. They gave the mummy a CAT scan. I wish they'd leave the poor kid alone - he died at the age of 19 - and quit parading him around like a dead rock star.
26. COMING BACK. Jane Fonda, next month. Her autobio, My Life So Far, is coming out and she's in a movie, Monster-in-Law, and plays a woman who doesn't want her son to marry Jennifer Lopez's character. So get ready for the onslaught.
27. . . . Didn't I hear a report that she was bulimic when she was doing all those exercise tapes?
28. 50 Cent's Disco Inferno single is not the same song as The Trammps' Disco Inferno (1978, from the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack). Cent's got three top singles from his new album, The Massacre, which came out last week and sold one million copies in four days.
29. Bob Schieffer promos for The CBS Evening News have already begun.
30. The Contender's not contending. I think it's a goner.
31. CHERRY BLOSSOM TIME AGAIN. National Park Service chief horticulturalist Rob DeFeo predicts that 70 percent of the trees should be in full flower between April 4 and 9. The parade's on the 9th. And kids, don't climb the trees.
32. I like Save the Last Dance For Me by Michael Buble which is featured in The Wedding Date. It's nice and breezy. From his album, It's Time (Reprise). Originally done by The Drifters (1960).
33. ANOTHER REALITY SHOW. This time Farrah Fawcett takes one on in Chasing Farrah. March 23 on TV Land. Her hair in the ads makes her look like Medussa or somebody.
34. THE NEXT THING. I wanna see TV on my cell phone. Verizon's V CAST has been doing it since last month with clips from 24 . And now, starting April 6, they're offering one-minute episodes from The Simple Life: Interns that will sell for 99 cents. Smart.
35. I thought Saving Milly was okay. The CBS-TV movie based on Washington journalist Morton Kondracke's memoir, Milly, about his wife's struggle with Parkinson's disease, was pretty well done and actor Bruce Greenwood as Kondracke and Madeleine Stowe as his Milly did a good job.
36. TV Guide gives a Jeer to the Rachel Dratch character Debbie Downer on Saturday Night Live. I have to agree. Funny once. After that, forget it. They're running it in the ground.
37. ABC's Sam Donaldson turned 71 on Friday. Entertainment Tonight mentioned it at the end of the show and they revealed that he once had a job selling mutual funds. I guess that was before he got into the network news business.
38. UH . . . Ain't That Good News - Sam Cooke, on RCA Victor Records. 1964.