JURY DUTY

1. . . . Something you eventually gotta do. They got me for federal. March 1 through 16. Got picked for a jury on a criminal case. Gun possession. Served all week. Got paid $40 a day.
2. . . . It ain't no Law and Order. Everything takes so long. The whole process seems dragged out. Needs to be edited, like TV. I don't have that much time to sit through all of it.
3. ABC's Charlie Gibson's birthday was Tuesday last week. I think he was 61.
4. Pledge Weeks on PBS are pretty good, entertainment-wise. Last week they had the Carpenters, Peter, Paul & Mary and other folkies, the Beatles, Roy Orbison and more. That Orbison show, A Black & White Night (shot on film in beautiful black and white, 1988), was terrific. What a show. Bruce Springsteen, Elvis Costello, Tom Waits, Jackson Browne, Bonnie Raitt, k.d. lang, Jennifer Warnes and others backed him up. And Orbison, what a voice. Of course, they're selling the VHS or DVD or CD for $500,000.
5. The promo for Significant Others on Bravo says it's "‘milk through the nose' funny." I can relate to that.
6. Mary Matalin is not Mary Magdalene. Kelly O'Donnell of NBC is not Kelli O'Donnell who married Rosie O'Donnell and Norah O'Donnell is not singer Norah Jones.
7. . . . Is ABC's Bob Woodruff CNN's Judy Woodruff's son?
8. Fred Francis of NBC had his beard for his identity theft piece he did for Nightly last week but next week he might not. Changes a lot.
9. Reports are that The Practice is morphing into another series that James Spader and some others from the show will star in. They say it might be Ally McBeal-ish. If that happens, Mr. Big Stuff says he's not gonna watch it.
10. The Enquirer says that prison gangs are anxiously awaiting Martha Stewart's arrival at the Federal Correctional Institution in Danbury, Conn. A "source" says "... it's not because they want her to decorate their cells or cook up a Sunday night prison meal! There's a belief that Martha is arrogant and thinks she's above everybody else - and they want to chop her down to size."
11. At the end of Saturday Night Live last weekend when everybody comes out on the stage and waves and hugs and kisses each other, guest host Ben Affleck thanked too many people and was saying promo-like things about other guests on the show about what they'd be doing or what they have coming out and was wanting to say more thank yous. He was acting like it was the Academy Awards or something. Show's over. Get ‘im off.
12. The April Vanity Fair's Proust Questionnaire features Lauren Bacall. She says she most dislikes her face. Her most treasured possession is her feet. And the lowest depth of misery for her is continual unemployment.
13. Extreme Makeover did a Mini Extreme Makeover (non-surgical except for Botox injections above the eyes) on a very long-haired, lanky, snaggle-toothed young guy who ended up practically unrecognizable. Sometimes it turns out that way.
14. Bruce Willis doesn't look so good in that gray, full-faced beard. He looks like Rob Reiner (Meathead) or something.
15. That liberal radio network (Air America Radio) starts broadcasting on March 31 and they've lined up Al Franken (of course, who else?), Janeane Garofalo and Chuck D (who never shuts up). It'll be heard in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles and San Francisco. But not in Washington and reports say "no deal is expected in some time." That's BS. Of all the places it should be heard is in Washington, the home of all those blowhard talk show guests that blanket the cable news channels. Better fix that soon.
16. . . . Figures. You can't get Jimmy Kimmel in D.C. either.
17. Jim Carrey doesn't look very good with his head shaved. And what was that mumbo jumbo he was spouting off at the Academy Awards? So not funny, as today's younger generation would say.
18. Ben Affleck seems like he's on the rebound since J. Lo. Did SNL, has Jersey Girl coming out and is on the cover of Rolling Stone ("Surviving Hurricane Jennifer") sporting a multicolored tattoo on his upper right arm. Tattoos? Maybe he and Angelina Jolie ... ?
19. I liked that Judas TV movie that was on last week and the "modernized" dialogue, as Tom Shales called it, didn't bother me. Not everybody has to have a British accent in order to be in a biblical tale. That's how I feel.
20. According to Nielsen Media Research, the ratings for the Big Three broadcast network news shows is as follows - in millions of viewers: NBC,10.7; ABC, 10.1 and CBS, 6.3. I didn't realize CBS was that far behind. Their glory days are/have been over.
21. SACRED LOVE. That's the name of the Sting/Annie Lennox North American tour which kicks off June 27 in Philly. Sacred Love? Sounds ponderous.
22. MILLION DOLLAR SHOES. That's what singer Allison Krauss wore at the Academy Awards. Of all people. She does bluegrass. She should've been barefoot or wearing earth shoes.
23. I wonder what Melissa Etheridge and her partner think of David Crosby being busted for marijuana and gun charges Isn't he the father/sperm donor of their children?
24. It'll be interesting to see Barbra Streisand in Meet the Fockers, the sequel to Meet the Parents. She'll play Ben Stiller's mother. She's so used to being the main, standout character in all her movies. This time she'll just be part of the cast. I'd like to be a fly on the wall while they're shooting that one.
25. That move poster of The Rock (Dwayne Douglas Johnson) for his April movie release, Walking Tall, shows him holding a thick, four-foot long 2x4 in his right hand and he's got that mean, concentrated look in his eyes. Who's he gonna bust? (Is this movie a remake?)
26. Will there be a sequel to The Passion of the Christ? People are asking.
27. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, got a little snippy to a poodle she saw coming down the circular staircase in the Charleston Place hotel in South Carolina last week. She's territorial and got a little riled up.
28. Pet Fest America last weekend at Washington's MCI Center was a good time. The show those dogs - all rescued and trained - put on was pretty amazing. Relay runs, jumping through hoops and tunnels, jumping hurdles and even some dancing. Some of the same ones that came last year returned: Fireplug, Raggedy Andy, Earmuff and others.
29. Mara Liasson on Fox News Sunday had a softer, looser, more natural ‘do on last week.
30. Metro was smoking this morning.
31. UH . . . Smokin' Room - Rufus Featuring Chaka Khan originally on ABC Records. Off their Rags to Rufus album. That goes back.

rocci@roccifisch.com

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