"BOOTY CAMP"

1. . . . That's what RollingStone calls its cover story on Destiny's Child. "A Story of Discipline and Desire." They're decked out in camouflage, uh ... bikinis. (I guess the military would call it a stretch.) Oh, and on their Survivor album they've got a cut on it called Bootilicious. Yum.
2. Another Marilyn Monroe flick-Blonde. This time with an actress named Poppy Montgomery. This two-parter on CBS goes into some depth on Monroe's early life. Sunday and Wednesday, May 13 and 16. "Happy Birthday Mr. President ..."
3. TASTEFUL. You can tell it's the May sweeps. NBC4 has Jim Handley doing a feature on "freeze-dried pets" and in the preview you see some man carrying a stuffed cat out on a slab of wood.
4. Tom Shales called ABC's Once and Again TV series a "mewlingly earnest domestic drama" in an article he wrote about Further Tales of the City which stars Once's Billy Campbell. FYI: Mewlingly-great word-comes from "mewl" which means to cry like a baby, whimper." Thanks Tom.
5. LISTENING TO . . . Stevie Nicks' new album, Trouble In Shangri-La. Good to hear that voice again. And she's in June Vanity Fair's last page Q&A.
6. Those Chrysler PT Cruisers sure are popular. But when they come down the street, they look like the front's leaning down and the back's all hunched up.
7. Jeopardy's Alex Trebek finally shaved off his 20-year mustache. Just felt like it. Spur of the moment. Did it on a lunch break. He looks fine without it. Men do that.
8. The Mummy Returns is one special effect after another. Pretty fantastic. It's what audiences have come to expect now. There's gotta be non-stop action happening all over the place. Good for what it is.
9. Sen. Tom Daschle looks like he got his hair revamped-a bit shorter, browner. (Hair Club for Men?)
10. Daniel Schorr never ages. Has always looked the same. But it's like the reverse for him. He never looked young. Like Kitty Carlisle.
11. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld last Sunday was on Face the Nation and Meet the Press at the same time. Now how did they do that?
12. Nicholas Cage has an Italian accent in that new movie, Captain Corelli's Mandolin. Sounds pretty good. Give him a break. He needs a hit. He's likable.
13. So when's the former NYPD Blue star Andrea Thompson gonna be on CNN's Headline News? Some partially nude photos have surfaced on her back in her actress days. True news people are miffed.
14. . . . Did she get her experience on that internet program, Naked News? Ha Ha Ha.
15. KEEPING YOUR SPOUSE UP? Get some of that Silent Snore Spray. $29.95. 1-800-221- 3064 or Silentsnore.com.
16. MSNBC/NBC's Norah O'Donnell seemed to be taking advantage of the Dress-Down Fridays look last week. She had on a simple blue button-down blouse/shirt-with some buttons undone naturally, but in good taste, mind you- and her hair looked a little long and natural. Good for her. On-Air people can do that too. Casual but classy.
17. Now people are using earphones for their cell phones so they don't have to hold them up. More freedom? Maybe it's also about avoiding the cancer-radiation scare. But nowdays on the street, everybody's talking to somebody who's not there.
18. They say it'll take Timothy McVeigh 8-15 minutes to die of the lethal injection. Whenever that happens. What's he gonna eat before? Why eat?
19. NEW YORK MUSICAL. Eli's Comin'. Featuring the music of influential singer/songwriter Laura Nyro who died of ovarian cancer in 1997. The play's about a woman journeying into the heart and soul of New York City. (That's exactly what Nyro did in her early years.) At the Vineyard Theatre. Sounds interesting.
20. . . . "Eli's Comin' . . . Hide your heart girl." Laura Nyro wrote it and recorded it but 3 Dog Night had the hit off it in 1969.
21. PANDA INFO: Tian Tian means "more and more" in Chinese and Mei Xiang means "beautiful fragrance."
22. The ads say, "Take Beano. A more natural approach." Instead of doing what?
23. CAN"T HOLD IT? That "Gotta Go, Gotta Go, Gotta Go" commercial for Detrol LA is funny, especially when the waiter brings a pitcher of water to some woman's table and starts pouring it. Her expression is priceless.
24. A friend of mine had to renew her D.C. car registration. Before going there she called about it and the recorded voice on the phone said that her wait time was going to be 12 minutes. Then, while she's on that, the voice comes on a second time and says the wait time would be 21 minutes. She wound up hanging up and not waiting. Blame her?
25. Now they've got Grey Poupon Yellow mustard. Taking after French's I guess. They call it the "Thicker yellow mustard."
26. Dan Abrams on MSNBC seems flitty. He's always jumping on things people say too quickly.
27. BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE: Okay, but not the best. Ann-Margret plays the role her way. You can see she's careful the way she moves. I mean, she's not cattin' after Elvis in this one like she did in Viva Las Vegas. Play's fun and cute. Gary Sandy (WKRP in Cincinnati) plays the sheriff. (He was on washingtonpost.com/Live Online recently.) Overall though, a bit dated and just nice.
28. . . . In some of those outfits, Miss Mona (Margret) looks pretty Va-Va-Voom-ish.
29. A PASSING. Chuck Taylor, writer/producer/editor/on-air person, died suddenly last week. His memorial service was held Friday. Many people came and several spoke about him and his many years working for ABC Radio News. He loved the outdoors and was a runner and did it everywhere. The cover of the church program for his service was a photo of the Cape May lighthouse taken by his wife Glenda. He will be missed.
30. So is Where In The World Is Matt Lauer over? It seemed a little non-illustrious this time around. And the part where he shows what he's bringing back for Ann and Katie and Al is a bit too ingratiating.
31. NOTICED: Where In The World Is Matt Lauer doesn't use a question mark, just like Who Wants To Be A Millionaire doesn't. Hmm.
32. Former ABC Newser Tim O'Brien has joined CNN and will file reports for Moneyline With Lou Dobbs. O'Brien was a longtimer at ABC and his beat was the Supreme Court.
33. Rudy Giuliani's always dressing up like a woman.
34. More people are watching Spin City now with Charlie Sheen than when Michael J. Fox was on it.
35. XFL: X -ed. Who didn't know that was gonna happen?
36. Reality TV shows aren't.
37. UH . . . Reality-James Brown on Polydor, from 1975. He did that one right after Funky President (People It's Bad) .
38. LATE ITEM. Singer Perry Como died, just before his 89th birthday. He was a crooner from the 50s. Many hit records and radio and TV shows. Those cardigan sweaters he wore caught on and began to be called Perry Como sweaters. Many guys wore them back then. Three buttons down at the bottom. Big Hits: Hot Diggity (Dog Ziggity Boom) , Catch A Falling Star, Magic Moments, It's Impossible, among many others. He recorded for RCA Victor all his life.

rocci@roccifisch.com

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