October 19, 2005

      MY SISTER DOESN'T LIKE THE NEW TV GUIDE

1. . . . The new size. It no longer fits in the holder she has for it and the remotes on her coffee table. It's too big now.
2. . . . And she points out that there are no weekend daytime listings for programs she likes to watch, like Lifetime movies and stuff like that. (Only sports)
3. . . . And you have to search for the TV Listings, for crissakes. They're all the way in the back. What's the magazine for?
4. . . . It's more of a celebrity package now, like People or Star. In fact, there's already a mag out called Inside TV that even looks like the new TV Guide. That'll be pretty confusing, especially since they expect to pick up more sales on the newsstands.
5. . . . It might bomb.
6. Saddam Hussein's trial has begun. You'd think he would've looked a bit nicer and tidier. To make a better impression. A clean shave, fresh hair color, a trim, a beard trim, a suit, maybe a tie? But no, he looks the same as the last time we saw him. Casual and without a tie. So I guess it wasn't any special event for him.
7. . . . AP reports say his daughter Raghad has been meddlesome with her daddy's attorneys' work and that she fired nearly all 1,500 Arab and international lawyers in August, complaining they were giving her conflicting advice.
8. . . . He wasn't in shackles. He was free to wander around the little pen he was in, sorta like they have for dogs.
9. CAN'T BELIEVE PHOTO. Of Madeleine Albright, former secretary of state under President Clinton, in bed, lying next to and consoling (canoodling with?) Rory Gilmore of WB's Gilmore Girls, in an upcoming (Oct. 25) episode. Albright plays herself and is called in to help convince Rory to return to Yale. (It's a role model thing.) Madame Secretary also wears one of her signature brooches on her red suit
10. . . . You'd think something like this would be a little beneath her. But everybody wants to be on TV/toot their own horn.
11. Somebody said the new James Bond, Daniel Craig, has a flat face. That he should be tall, dark and handsome like the other 007's instead of being blond. He seems small and not statuesque. In one publicity shot he looked like a young Kirk Douglas. Kind of. NOTE: He was good in Layer Cake this year. So we'll have to see how the franchise goes.
12. GOOD READ. Although an inside look ... at Philly soul. The book, A House on Fire: The Rise and Fall of Philadelphia Soul, by John A. Jackson. Traces the origins of soul music in the City of Brotherly Love and how its distinctive sound came about. Focuses on Kenny Gamble, Leon Huff and Thom Bell, writers and producers of hits by Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes, The Spinners, The O'Jays, Teddy Pendergrass, The Stylistics and many, many more. Key interviews with the principle architects of the classic Philly Soul sound.
13. NEW ASSIGNMENT. Michael Beschloss is now credited as NBC News Presidential Historian. He used to do a lot of work for ABC but I guess NBC has now nabbed him exclusively.
14. NOTICED. On MSNBC last week they were talking about the George Clooney-directed movie, Good Night, and Good Luck, about CBS newsman Edward R. Murrow and his reports on Sen. Joseph McCarthy in the '50s and his anti-Communist campaign. The TV guest was actor David Strathairn who plays Murrow in the film. Anyway, when MS put the movie title in the lower 1/3 of the screen to designate the topic of discussion, it just said, Good Night, Good Luck. They left the and out. Then they fixed it with Good Night and Good Luck, but left out the comma. So they got it wrong both times. That's not good. Big poppa Brian Williams wouldn't put up with that on his show.
15. . . . THE MOVIE. Very well done. Black and white. Clooney's in it as well as directs. He captures the 50's right. Serious film. About Murrow, the famous broadcaster who challenges Sen. Joseph McCarthy-seen in the movie on actual newsreel footage from the time-and causes trouble at the network. Frank Langella (used to be married to Whoopi Goldberg and played Dracula in a movie) plays the boss, William Paley. Clooney plays Murrow's producer Fred Friendly. And Strathairn is excellent as the slicked back, black-haired, chain-smoking, serious TV journalist. Clooney's a good director
16. "A WELL A EVERYBODY'S HEARD ABOUT THE BIRD ... Ba, ba,ba, bird, bird, bird. Bird is the word." (Surfin' Bird-The Trashmen on Garrett Records, 1963) That's what I think of when I hear about the bird flu that's supposedly gonna be a pandemic.
17. . . . Would somebody just tell all the TV reporters and anchors and the printed press and the bloggers to quit threatening everybody about it? Just tell the medical community to build up a vaccine that works and make sure there's enough to go around. And make it quick!
18. Somebody said this: "Next up for Katie Holmes: A remake of Rosemary's Baby." Now that's not nice. Poor Tom and Katie.
19. Donald Trump has a Signature Collection of suits, dress shirts and neckwear that's sold exclusively at Macy's. He's all neatly put together in his picture used for the newspaper ad. But he's still got that werewolf hair coming down. Seriously, he looks like Michael Landon did in I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957).
20. That New York Times reporter Judith Miller, who spent 85 days in jail and has been going in and out of court lately, sure looks like she's enjoying herself. She's always got a smile on her face. What's she so happy about? The whole darn case is totally confusing. She doesn't act like she's phased by any of it.
21. CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta has changed his hairstyle. It's now swept over to the right. Hipper, I guess. Makes him look younger. Maybe it's for his patients.
22. MSM. Does the average man/person in the street know what that stands for? I doubt it.
23. . . . Mainstream media. Newswriters use it. Oh gee.
24. Kyra Phillips and Ali Velshi were co-anchors in The Situation Room on CNN a couple days last week. They stood up and looked at screens just like Wolf Blitzer does but it wasn't the same. I only like Wolf in The Situation Room.
25. DIALOGUE FROM COMMANDER IN CHIEF. Geena Davis (the President) says, "I'm in the Oval Office and I still get cornered." Clever, or laughable?
26. . . . I forgot this but the commander in chief played Jeff Goldblum's girlfriend in a remake of The Fly (1986). Think that prepared her for her current role?
27. A friend of mine e-mailed me and had this to say about Oprah's O magazine: "I got tired of seeing her mug on the cover of every issue so I canceled the mag."
28. Patrick Buchanan said this about Bush on Meet the Press two Sundays ago: "The president has recoiled from greatness," referring to his nominee, Harriet Miers, for the Supreme Court. Does that also mean Pat thinks George is a snake too?
29. I'VE HEARD IT ALL NOW. Jennifer Lopez (J.Lo) plays an investigative journalist in Bordertown, a new movie that's currently in production. Co-stars Antonio Banderas. A series of murders takes place near American-owned factories on the border of Juarez and El Paso. In it she's got straight, medium-length blond hair parted on the left that shouts wig hat. Investigative journalist? I doubt it.
30. QUESTION. How many times does a Windows Media Player or a realPlayer have to be installed on my computer? Every time you want to use either one to watch/listen to a small piece of video it tells you you don't have one. I HAD one but it's not there now. Quit changing things all the time and requiring people to fill out more forms. Just leave it the way it is and let it automatically update itself with the new software.
31. What is a Hollaback Girl? Gwen Stefani keeps singing and saying that she's not one but exactly what does a Hollaback Girl do?
32. Hanalie, dog in the neighborhood, traveled 12 hours by car to Vermont with owner Sally last week. It was a business trip but Sally squeezed in a visit to artist Stephen Huneck's Dog Mountain in St. Johnsbury where they have a famous chapel and where Hanalie got blessed.
33. ELIZABETHTOWN. What I hear: Too long (over two hours) and boring.
34. . . . Thought so.
35. WILMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's what Fred Flintsone would yell and it's also the name of another hurricane heading up. Haven't we had enough? Some say God is mad.
36. John Travolta and Kelly Preston are on the cover of this month's Smithsonian Associate magazine. They're at home in their living room and outside the window you can see his big plane on the lawn. So I guess they've got everything.
37. That picture of a naked John Lennon practically humping a clothed Yoko Ono was named the most popular magazine cover (Rolling Stone, 1/22/81) in the last 40 years by the American Society of Magazine Editors. Never liked that picture. He looks ridiculous clinging on to her that way. Wonder what Cynthia Lennon, John's former wife, and Paul McCartney thought about that picture. They all hated Yoko.
38. Mr. Big Stuff says he's not eating chicken until the bird flu goes away.
39. UH . . . Chicken Necks-Don & Juan on Big Top, 1962. It was the flipside of their huge doo-wop style What's Your Name.